Jonathan Higbee's picture

Survey: German Men Are The Worst Lovers. So, Who Are The Best?

A poll published by surveyed 15,000 women around the globe to rank countries with the best and worst male lovers. 

According to the survey, Germany got the lowest scores because the men are "too smelly." Rounding out the top five are the English ("too lazy"), Swedes ("too quick to finish"), the Dutch ("too rough"), and Americans ("too dominating"). 

On the other side of the sex spectrum, Latin countries unsurprisingly favored well in the survey. Spain boasts the best men in bed, while Brazil, Italy and France follow close by. 

The full results read:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)



1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

(Via Telegraph)


For sure the Author never tried having a FILIPINO BOYFRIEND hehehe

Big surprise, this is dominated by Western European countries. no one has sex anywhere else then . . . 

A man once made very sweet love to me. He happened to be German. 

Strange... Lived in Germany for several years and never met a smelly man. They can be casual as tourists, but smelly? No. Where those ideas come from? Also German man are fantastic lovers, very caring, treat women with a lot of respect, and as Bernard said, they are uninhibited. Can be very romantic too, not shallow types. Prefer them to Spaniards or Italians, really. And American are very puritan and porn loving.

Ethiopian girls are the best in the world.

No they are not, best women are Spaniards followed by Native american. Ethiopians gross, I can't even think of a black chick naked without being grossed out. Sorry. To each their own.

There is a difference in sharing an opinion and truthful than just being a plain ass.

this is plain stereotyping. My first sexual experience with a man was German. He was excellent in of the best and I've been with so many, many men with different nationalities. Over 100 men...I lost count. I'm not proud of it because I don't want to be labeled a slut but I'm just being truthful. He was very gentle, loving and romantic. That was 5 years ago and to this day, I still remember it with such clarity. I know that I'll never forget him no matter how hard I try...even until I grow old, I'll never forget how he treated me so kindly, the smell of his skin and the size, shape & sweet smell of his cock..My second best would be a Mexican and third a Filipino. Anyone could be a great lover and I do believe that their nationality has nothing to do with it.

Oh, thank heaven; my husband and I are #'s 2, 3 and 4 between us.

Jewish men are the worst lovers because they have no foreskin to satisfy their women. That's why they have to pay for hookers, they have no game or skills.


I agree, ZX you are an idiot!

Ha. So not true, at least not when you know the definition of the three words you just used.

The only experts that can tell who is the best is man on man and woman on woman...women know nothing about good sex with their emotional states.  They can never make up their mind

I  Serbian guys

Why would Instinct publish a poll of WOMEN from four years ago, and start out with "A new poll published....." ?    Give me a break!

It doesn't say new. But granted 15,000 women cannot be indicative of a world poll...

So why are you posting a poll from 2009?

Are you serious? They are posting 2009 poll results from a women's poll so THEY CAN REPOST THE PIC OF MR ESPANA 2007!!!!  Get with the program

Sounds like I need a German man! He would lay there cold as ice while a wear on his ass, cum, then go.

You know there are other places in the world. There are these continents called Asia and Africa, but I guess you forgot about those. 

You know these are the 10 worst and 10 best? Also, last I checked South Africa is on the continent of Africa.

This post is so silly.

Russian men are too hairy?

What if you're into that?  The same argument can be made for almost every complaint on the list.

Also Italian men rank #3 and they are hairy as well - and that's awesome!

Actually you're right!  I like German men!

Hairy is awesome!!!

What do those homophobic, old unwanted trolls and fa@ hags think?!

Funny thing... A poll published by the same website in September 2009 shows exactly the same results.

Well done, Instant Magazine!

Good lord it's just a silly poll. You people spend way to much time and effort on something that in the bigger picture has no real social impact. This poll is based on stereotypes and pushes cultural hot buttons to get people to engage in pointless and meaningless conversation / debate on issues that mean nothing to the rest of the world. The magazine accomplished it's goal.. write a article that would hit peoples hot buttons and spark conversation and get them to share their feelings on social media. It's just that simple!

And both of us joined this discussion anyway... :)

hahah 2 points

Absolutely agree!!! Spaniards are sooooo hot!!!

I actually agree more or less with this ...

Hmm I beg to differ.  I find Germans a lot more fun in the sac.  Not sure who took this pole.  I think Germans are the most uninhibited. American far to conservative.

"sack", not "sac". "poll", not "pole". "too", not "to".

Shh, your uselessness is showing

The majority of Turkey is in Asia, so Asians kind of did get tossed into the mix in a sideways sort of manner.  :)

The results are rated by country and NOT ethnicity. New Zealand,  Australia and America for that matter are made up of many different ethnicities. These would also include those from Asian countries. Perhaps those places that were not colonized in the large 500 years can claim their results are down to ethnicity but those that were must have developed their traits recently. The lack of even a mention of a Asian country is strange .

I think you need to read between the lines here on being "too smelly".....A large percentage of the male population in Germany is uncircumcised.  Hygiene probably is their strong suit.....just sayin'  If it smells like raw hamburger meat gone bad, I don't think it would rank very high for me either....LOL

Sorry, but I know a HUGE amount of German people, and all they surveyed was women anyway. Morons. They should have surveyed men too for this. However, I have had lovers from all walks of life and German people do not stink, the assumption of Americans being too dominating is bullshit as is some of the other things they stupid bitches said. That being said, there is one ethnic group that DOES stink to high heaven constantly but they don't seem to think they do; but I am not going to say which group.

Leeeeeet's not get racist here, buddy.

WTF No Asians in the equation here? This is bull, I know Thailand should be somewhat ranked, why would everyone flock for free-love in Bangkok then? And all the middle-age men and women flock for the boys. Hahahah. 

I've met a lot of German guys and I have never smelled any body odor on them.

With over a billion people of Asian ancestry in the largest continent in the world, you'd think theres some serious f***ing going on. Looking at this survey, you'd think they don't even exist.

Regarding Asians, they might have included the culture in the list as the editor might have felt bad for all the "little penis" comments they would've received through the voting bahaha

Agreed - WTF?  How can you forget about all those countries and all those millions of lovers?  They dropped the ball on this one, and definitely showed their privilege in their study.

I grew up around them. They are always horny

Didn't you know? Asians flick their seed across the room.

I think there's an obvious western European bias.

It seems like a number of people are taking this non-scientific poll to heart. Being a biomedical researcher, I can at least say that by no means is this poll generalizable to any population. It was probably a convenient sample, therefore not representative of the true opinions of people and biased towards heterosexual individuals. That said, this is Instinct Magazine, not The Advocate. I hardly expert for them to post anything too serious online. It's a piece of trivia to tell a friend about and that's it.

Yes. It's true. Greek men are lovey dovy, but they are great in bed as well. Been to GREECE three times so far, and I never complained! Woof! Of course I'm speaking as a gay man! And honestly, yes Turkish men are too sweaty, but as a gay guy, there is nothing better than a sweaty guy while having sex with him! Yum! Just my two cents ;)


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