Underwear Company Now Offering Penis Insurance
It's time you start securing your (arguably?) most valuable asset.
UNDZ underwear is now offering penis insurance!
Starting March 15, men who purchase three or more pairs of UNDZ underwear via the company website will get a Lloyd's Of London insurance policy to be paid out if their sex organ becomes detached from their body.
“A man can get insurance for his car, dog, house, land and life but not for his penis? Well, I thought that was absurd,” UNDZ founder Bernard Dore said in a press release. “UNDZ is making it possible for men all over the world to protect their most important asset and we are excited to have the backing of one of the most prominent insurance companies in the world.”
The nether regions of 16,000 men are injured or detached each year, an UNDZ spokeswoman told The Huffington Post.
"I got that from Google," the spokeswoman said.
UNDZ specifies that sex change operations or incidents where your penis is removed surgically will not be covered. You also can't have a friend or lover cut off the goods.
"This is to prevent people from intentionally removing the penis," the spokeswoman explained to The Huffington Post.
UNDZ also crafted this NSFW video apparently to entice you to purchase the insurance. We won't post it here because there are some things you can't unsee, but if you're feeling adventurous and vaguely masochistic head on over to watch.
Are you going to get insured, Instincters?