Young Gay Blogger: Gay Men Over 30 Should Stay Out Of The Clubs
A blog post from late last week has been making the rounds on social media, and igniting a firestorm of comments in its wake. Titled "Gay Men & The Curse of the Peter Pan Syndrome," the editorial posted to GayGuys.com by writer Dalton Heinrich asserts that gay men "are absolutely horrible when it comes to growing up."
Because of this, Heinrich prescribes gay men 30 and up one simple task: stay out of gay bars and clubs.
Nobody bats an eye when a straight male in his adult prime is at a bar or club hitting on younger women, so what's Heinrich's deal?
Since the beginning of my social existence a large portion of my friends had been older than myself. I had always just assumed that I was mature for my age when in actuality I think most of the gay men I associated with had never mentally passed the age of 25. From boyfriends, to just friends, to acquaintances, to people I would repeatedly bump into at gay bars; a large portion of them were at a dead end when it came to maturing.
Why is it a social norm of ours to be in our late forties and going clubbing and bar hopping multiple times a week? Of the hundreds of grown men I know, why are so few of them actually grown up? Was I doomed to a life of bottle service and boyfriends half my age because I couldn’t settle down and start a family at an appropriate time.
It is as if all gay men are terrified to grow up. The abundance of thirty and forty something’s that attend nightclubs persistently and dress like they are going to a college frat party is astounding. Instead of the Botox, barhopping and H&M wardrobes; why as a culture, are the majority of us not having children and planning our futures.
The sad, thirsty man haunting the shadows of 18 and up clubs is slowly killing our culture. When my generation of gays gets older are we going to think that is the normal thing to do with our nights? Are we all destined to be ghosts of our youth, dramatically hunting down a thrill rather than being man enough and brave enough to go toward the light and move on to actually being an adult?
I think it is time to fight off this trend of a permanent youth. We all need to realize how to act our age and how to play our part in our community. It is time to be a role model for the next group of young men. It is time to tell Peter Pan that you want to go home and as much as it may not be the funniest thing to do, it is time to grow up.
What do you think about Heinrich's advice for gay men older than 29? (Read his full editorial here.)
(h/t: Wicked Gay Blog)