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Is Your Coming Out Story For Self-Satisfaction?

Is Your Coming Out Story For Self-Satisfaction?

Why Are Some Blasting Others To Make Themselves Feel Better?


Welcome to #InstinctAfterDark, where we all get a little crabby since we’re so sleepy or aroused. In my case, I have something to say about today. October 11th has become National Coming Out Day. Working for a fantastic company such as Instinct Magazine, I’m able to express the happiness this blog has brought into my life and witness a team of LGBTQ people working together to deliver a message focusing on our community’s hot topics. Being openly gay in the world obviously comes with short comings. As a writer for Instinct, I have realized how hard we’ve had to fight to get an LGBTQ press. The internet and social media has allowed LGBTQ persons worldwide to connect with one another. We argue, love, and share similar stories. National Coming Out day has filled my social media feed with tear-jerking videos, laughs, and sarcastic stories of being in the glass closet.

I’ve been wiping my tears all day reading multiple coming out stories. I know tons of you were letting your emotions out through your thumbs as I am right now. I empathized with your pain, happiness, and excitement on moving forward out of the closet. It is so funny to realize how many other misfits I’ve met along the way have a similar story to myself. We never had to come out of the closet. We were so gay we were hitting on baby boy’s in the maternity ward after birth!  


However, we all know that one person who has to go over the top. While I’ve been known to post RuPaul’s Drag Race drama from friends status updates and even some inside Hollywood gossip, I cannot bare myself to shame some of my acquaintances by posting their Facebook status updates: Especially one who is constantly in the public eye (I know you’re reading this, too- and you know who you are).


Let me get to the point: I’ve seen a handful of Coming Out Stories blasting others for simply, not being openly gay or gay in general. A few examples that I’m begging to screenshot but please don’t compare my silence to the men in Hollywood:

  • Degrading Blue Collar jobs as an effort to make your occupation sound better compared to your bullies from high school.
  • Moving on from the Night Club scene to working a 9 to 5.
  • Degrading those, including an exes, who haven’t came out of the closet even though “everyone knows”.

Your Coming Out Story should solely be yours. Your story is only for yourself. It should not be for likes on social media, self-satisfaction, or a way to insult your peers. Coming out of the closet is the one factor that unites the entire gay community. Can we please not use it to bash others for their professions, self-doubt, or to let others know how far we’ve came compared to them? Coming out is for yourself. You do it alone. Please, enjoy being out and happy in life. Many before us have not gotten to break their chains and live their authentic life.