Coming out

A College Linebacker, and Son of A Two-Time Super Bowl Winner, Came Out

Xavier Colvin / via Jimmy Lafakis/Butler University

Xavier Colvin is a 20-year-old sophomore majoring in marketing at Butler University. He’s 5’9”, 210 pounds, has the nickname of "X," the son of a two-time Super Bowl winner, and is a linebacker for Butler’s football team.

The reason that we’re talking about Colvin here is that in August he stood on stage in front of his fellow Butler Bulldogs and announced that he was gay.

Colvin admits that he had known about his sexuality for years and before even entering college, but decided to stay in the closet for fear of rejection from his peers and a potential career in the sport. That said, eventually it became too much of a burden for him.

“I just kept it to myself because it was in the best interest of me at the time,” he told INDY Star, “Because I was still trying to figure myself out. I mean, I still am now trying to figure myself out. So, I have a long way to go to figure out the man I truly am. This is a step in the right direction.”

“Timing is perfect. This team, this year, this coaching staff, it’s great.”

Before officially coming out, Colvin contacted close friends, trusted teammates, and his coach Jeff Voris who said that it was an “non-issue.”

As for his father Rosevelt Colvin, who was a former professional linebacker in the NFL between the years of 1999 and 2008 and won the Super Bowl twice with the New England Patriots, Colvin says there was no issue there either.

“Me and my dad, we have a great relationship,” he said, “I get told a lot that I’m like him.”

This year, several college football players have come out, and Xavier Colvin is just the most recent. But, it’s good to hear that his story is also one that’s been accepted so easily.

Good for Colvin and good luck with the upcoming football season.

Kpop Star Hansol from Topp Doogg Came Out As Asexual

Credit: FYH 930615

Something great happened earlier today. A Kpop star came out as asexual.

The specific star that we’re talking about is Topp Dogg’s Hansol.

Now of course, some of us may still feel burned by the recent Aaron Carter situation. We’ve heard of pop singers coming out as some sort of LGBTQA and then find out it was just a publicity stunt.

Some, myself included, may feel that we shouldn't talk about or share news of “so and so” coming out because it often leads to this kind of disappointment.

That said, when a person comes out after going through struggle and strife, I think that’s something to celebrate and that’s why I’m sharing the news with you all.



A post shared by MARYKIKO (@official_marykiko) on

For context, Hansol has been having a tough year so far.

His group, Topp Dogg, was never big. It was big enough to be known and to have a solid fanbase, but sadly its company doesn’t support them with multiple albums like more popular groups. (Though conversely, they aren’t being tortured with unimaginable workloads then). As such, the group is currently “on hiatus” since their last album.

Things got worse when fellow member A-Tom (or Kim Sang Gyun) left the group to be a part of reality show Produce 101.

And then on top of that, Hansol received an increase in hateful and homophobic messages on social media, which he would respond to with only love and understanding.

Credit: Twitter Screenshot of a Fan Translation

But possibly all the negativity sent in his direction finally got to Hansol as back in June he reached a tipping point.

The kpop star hosted a livestream on Instagram to talk to his followers and reportedly repeated several suicidal statements such as, “I want to kill myself,” or looking at cars while saying, “That could probably kill me.”

This video (a part of which can be watched here) scared fans so much that they contacted accounts of Hansol’s friends. This eventually got the attention of fellow dancer and close friend Yu Jun Min who posted, “I was able to contact Hansol. Everyone, don't worry.”

Credit: Instagram Screenshot

All of this is again to say that Hansol has not had a good year and the last time fans heard of him he was in a dark place.

That said, things seem to be looking up for him.

Hansol had another livestream on Instagram and this time looked much happier. Not only that, but he confessed to something he’d apparently been thinking about for some time.

In the stream, which you can watch below without subtitles, he said, “I have been thinking a lot. I’m asexual. Asexual. I don’t like anyone, anybody. I just like myself. I’ll probably never get married. I just like my friends and family.” 


Not only is this frank announcement great knowing the struggle and battle that Hansol has gone through in the past year, but also for the fact that he is someone in the public eye in South Korea.

South Korea, while being pretty progressive in multiple areas, is still extremely regressive when it comes to sexual orientation.

The existance of LGBTQ people is acknowledged by citizens but they are often whispered about. In addition, the government and military are specifically ostracizing and criminalizing LGBTQ people in service (sounds like someone else we know).

As such, we are happy to hear of Hansol’s coming out. But again, we don’t want to have another Aaron Carter situation, so let's not deify him for doing it.

Instead, we’ll give him a virtual pat on the back and a raised glass in his direction. He deserves that at the least.

And we hope that he can go back to being the happy guy fans once knew.


Aaron Carter Broke Down At His First Performance Since Coming Out

As we reported yesterday, Aaron Carter kickstarted the next point in his career after coming out as bisexual and breaking up with his girlfriend by performing at a gay bar.

The bar was Hamburger Mary’s, which is very close to his hometown in Brandon, Florida.

TMZ was on the scene and was a lucky enough to record some of the event.

 At the start, Carter spoke to audience and said, “I just want to say thank you so much for all your love and your support with the LGBTQ community and my announcement… It means a lot. Yes, I am a bisexual man, so…”

He then went into a bit of a mumbled mess by pointing out some attractive women and men in the crowd.

After that, he introduced his new song called “Hard to Love” and revealed it was inspired by the ex-girlfriend who just broke up with him.

Afterwards, the video cuts to the end of the performance when Carter was so overwrought with joy because of the love shared by his fans that he started to breakdown and weep.

We at Instinct Magazine are overjoyed to see the upturn that Aaron Carter’s life has taken since his arrest last month, and we hope for only good things for the singer from now on.

(Plus, we’d love to see a new hubby around his arms in the future.)

You can check out the TMZ video (and a fan vid of his new single) down below.

The UK Just Got It's First Openly Gay Referee

The world of sports is still crushingly straight… at least in public. So, whenever an athlete or official in the business comes out, it’s a big deal. That’s a fact whether some like it or not. And the next big deal has come upon us.

A few months ago there were talks of a few anonymous football (soccer) athletes considering coming out. No one’s heard anything about that since. But, it looks like a referee might be leading them by example.

Ryan Atkin is a professional football referee in the UK and he is now the first UK ref to officially come out.

“Being gay doesn’t matter in the context of refereeing a football match,” Atkin told Sky Sports, “But if I’m speaking about equality and diversity, then I’m going to mention that I’m gay because it’s relevant. Homophobia is still a problem, but things are improving all the time.”

Atkin also had to say that he saw a movement towards acceptance of LGBTQ people in the sport thanks to campaigns fighting against homophobia.

“The Rainbow Laces campaign has been hugely important. There is a growing number of club LGBT fan groups, and major sports brands such as Adidas and Nike are helping to deliver the same message to wider audiences across the globe.”

But again, the sport is still struggling largely with that aspect. In fact, in the UK there are currently no openly gay athletes. Something that Atkin noted himself.

“Clearly, this is a step into the unknown – in our UK pro game, it’s widely known that there are currently no openly gay footballers, nor have there been any openly gay referees until now. I hope that my action, however small, will help give others in a similar situation the confidence to be themselves. In a few years’ time, articles like this won’t be necessary. But until that point, all of us in football have a duty to create an environment where everyone can feel comfortable. It’s OK to be different and when we all truly believe that, we’ll start to move on.”

And at the moment it seems that everyone is in support of Ryan Atkin, including Neale Barry who is the head senior referee development for the FA.

“The FA offers its full backing to Ryan. Our role is to support all referees, aid their development, maximize their potential and, above all, help ensure their experiences are positive. Ryan’s declaration marks an important moment in the game and reinforces the fact that refereeing really is open to everyone.”

Let’s hope someday the same will be said for the athletes.

Rapper Lil Peep Came Out As Bisexual On Twitter

Seems this is a perfect time to come out as bisexual on Twitter. First Aaron Carter did it and now rapper Lil Peep is doing it.

The rap artist went to twitter and announced his sexuality to the world in the most mundane way.



The best part is that his fanbase looks to be totally ok with it. In fact, some have already started lining up for that kiss.






But who is Lil Peep? I checked him out after the news came out and it looks like he's a relatively new rapper who's working his way up. He's still pretty unknown, but he's growing a fanbase fast and gaining more experience.

Honestly, given the fact that he's so unknown and that it's so close to Aaron Carter's coming out, one has to wonder if this is another celebrity publicity stunt. If so, it brings up the same discussion we had for the Dublin Drag Qeen who video taped herself punching a man who snatched her wig.

But forgetting all that, let's take a look at his music. So far, he raps to slow jams and beats, which has made other writers call him an "emo-rapper." I get where they're coming from (plus he calls himself a Goth), but I don't know if that's a perfect title for his sound.

But don't let me decide for you. You can check out two of his songs down below to hear for yourself.



Will he be the next big thing? Who knows. But, we might check in with him later to see what happens.

Aaron Carter Comes Out As Bisexual

After a rough patch this year, singer Aaron Carter has come out as bisexual on Twitter. A reality that he has toiled with for sometime, according to his words. In his message to the world, he attributes music to being his salvation and quotes Boy George with "I've never felt as though I didn't belong, I just acted as though I did."

Recently, Carter was arrested for alcohol and drugs, but it seems that this is now the support he may have been yearning for.

And he does appreciate all the love:

We commend you for speaking your truth, Aaron!

Singer Greyson Chance Comes Out On Instagram

Greyson Chance, the young singer who was discovered by Ellen Degeneres after a viral video of him singing Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi hit the web, took to Instagram with his official coming out story. Chance was inspired by someone else to share his own coming out publicly.



In seeing a greater number of coming out stories being publicized many may think that it is becoming more of the ‘norm’ to come out and may not even be necessary. Some are even outed by others or not given the chance to own their identity when we acknowledge that "we already knew" or "suspected". Who are we to take that away from someone else?

I think what we forget how intimate and necessary the coming out process is to each individual. We spend a lifetime coming to terms with who we are and trying to break down the barriers we face in society so to see that there are individuals who come out public and embrace themselves fully is still a beautiful thing.

Congratulations, Greyson—may you continue to inspire others to take command of themselves so that if/when they are ready, they may also have the special moment of their coming out story.

Here's a reminder of how special you are



Heroes Actor Thomas Dekker Comes Out As Gay

Just a week after someone tried to out him during an acceptance speech at Outfest, actor Thomas Dekker, 29, has come out as gay. Known for his roles on Heroes and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Dekker posted an open letter on Instagram and Twitter that affirmed his sexuality.

Dekker writes:

“My sexual orientation once again came into question this week when a prominent gay man used an awards acceptance speech to ‘out’ me. While he did not mention me by name, the explicit details of his reference made it easy for the public and media to connect the dots.”


My sexual orientation once again came into question this week when a prominent gay man used an awards acceptance speech to "out" me. While he did not mention me by name, the explicit details of his reference made it easy for the public and media to connect the dots. While it is an odd situation, I thank him because it presents a prime opportunity for me to publicly say that I am indeed a man who proudly loves other men. In fact, this April, I married my husband and I could not be happier. I have never lied to the press about the fluidity of my sexuality but this man claiming that I came out is not true. Because I have not "officially" until this moment. I simply refuse to be robbed of the glorious joy that belongs to me. To say the words myself. "I'm gay". Those words are a badge of honor that no one can steal. Sexuality and who you love is a deeply personal and complicated thing. For some of us, it takes time to cultivate, discover and conclude. It is not something anyone should ever be ashamed of and certainly not something anyone should be rushed into. I agree with many who believe it is an important responsibility for LGBTQ persons with a platform to come out. It has the power to change minds, challenge beliefs and make others feel understood and supported. It can strengthen the progression of our community and help disarm those who discriminate against us. It is a brave, powerful and important thing to do but it is also a deeply personal decision. One that should only be made when you are ready. If we are to stand strong in the gay community, our mission should be support, not exclusion; love, not shame. I choose not to look back on the past with a regretful heart but rather focus on the future with a hopeful one. A future where myself and all others can feel free to express their true selves with honor and dignity. I embrace you, any of you, with open arms, kindness, faith and patience. For all of you who have supported me, before and now, I thank you from the bottom of my fledgling heart. Be proud of who you are. No matter how long it takes.

1,251 Likes, 152 Comments - Thomas Dekker (@thomas.dekker) on Instagram: "My sexual orientation once again came into question this week when a prominent gay man used an..."

Dekker has been open about speaking of his character castings and has always stood behind his role choices.

In 2007, he mentioned:

“I would like it to be known by everyone, that I have played a gay character three times before in my career, one when I was twelve (which is on youtube), one when I was fifteen, and another when I was seventeen. I, nor my management have ever had any kind of problem with creating a gay character… What transpired on heroes is something far more complicated than anyone being ‘afraid’ to make Zach homosexual.”

In his open letter, Dekker also shared that in April he married his husband and his extremely happy.

While it is a little disappointing that Dekker felt like he was forced to have to come out before people "found out", it is indeed a proud moment and he should be celebrated for embracing who he really is. More power to you, Tom! See you at Pride!