#Dating

Londoner Sentenced 15 Years For Tricking Straight Tinder Users Into Gay Sex

A Londoner is heading to prison to serve 15 years after he posed as a woman on Tinder to trick straight men into having sex with him.

According to RT, 33-year-old Duarte Xavier from Wandsworth used Tinder to pretend to be a woman under the name “Ana.”

After talking to men using this persona, Xavier would have them show up to his apartment, put on blindfolds, and then engage in sex with him.

Xavier ended up tricking four men using this method, but two of the victims removed their blindfolds midway. They then fled and called the police, which resulted in two arrests. The second arrests led to an investigation that discovered Xavier was a serial offender.

According to GayPopBuzz, the Kingston Crown Court trial heard each of the victim’s accounts from their interactions with Duarte Xavier.

One man remembered how he had sex with Xavier in a park. He showed up first, as instructed, and put a blindfold on. Then, he waited before hearing a “feminine and Asian” voice. The two then engaged in oral and anal sex.

The man later shared in court, “I think originally she was saying about it was not practical to do it here, but I kind of insisted a bit and managed to change her mind.”

He then added: “It was her telling me about keeping the blindfold on, standing where I was because then she was going to go and leave the vicinity before I did. It was different, I have not experienced anything like that before.”

“He was so convincing,” said one of the victims who ultimately called the police and got Xavier arrested, “It was supposed to be a bit of honest fun between two consenting adults,” he said, according to British media. “I now have extreme stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression.”

Vice-Judge Advocate General Michael Hunter was the one to sentence Duarte Xavier to a 15-year stint in prison.

At the sentencing, Vice-Judge Hunter said to Xavier, “You have been found guilty of what can only be described as a campaign of deception and obtaining sex by pretending that you were a woman”, adding that the perpetrator had “demonstrated no remorse or understanding” of his victim’s position.

As Xavier heads to prison, the Metropolitan Police are still looking for any other potential victims.

h/t: RT, GayPopBuzz

Do Not Tell "Your Number” To Your New Dates!

Do Not Tell "Your Number” To Your New Dates!

That’s Your Business Only!


After a long hiatus, #InstinctAfterDark is back and I'm ready to speak more about dating and sex lives! They say hoes love having sex at night to feel loved, so why not talk about it while we’re douching for that last-minute date or simply lounging in bed browsing on our phones before we head to Pornhub? The latest edition of #InstinctAfterDark comes after a series of hot and heavy dates I’ve had with one of the plentiful men in West Hollywood. We had a great fling, but the fire was extinguished when he asked me the most personal question: How many people have I slept with? Like, wait, what!?!


You know you’re not bashful when you openly answer questions regarding oral sex on the first date. Yet, here I am clutching my pearls at the thought of revealing my number to a guy who I am relatively interested in. Hear me out, it’s not like we haven’t disclosed any predetermined factors one should speak of before having sex. We’ve had sex, lots of it, safely, and consensually. However, we’ve known each other for just a few months and haven’t necessarily dabbled in conversations surrounding entering into a relationship. Regardless, I believe it’s none of his or anyone else’s business to know "your number.” How much of an awful '90s romantic comedy film plot line is that? It’s safe to say I’m washing my hands of this particular person who clearly wants to know too much about me before putting a title on us. What if he decided to use this information against me?


The past is the past, my past is in my past, and it should stay there. If you don’t have to disclose, legally or morally, your previous sex life, why would you? Talk about sex, be about it, do it, but there is absolutely no way I’m going to openly tell anyone my number. Guess a number and you may be right, but your speculation is as close as you’re getting.


Are you willing to reveal the number of people you’ve slept with while on dates? Is "your number" a secret or do you share it with whomever asks?


This is the opinion of one Instinct Magazine Contributor and does not reflect the opinions of the magazine itself or those of fellow Contributors.

Almost Hookup Shaded MNEK On Twitter And The Singer Responded

British pop singer and songwriter MNEK got dissed by a potential hookup on Twitter and then blasted him on social media.

A couple of days ago, MNEK took to his Instagram account, in which he has over 85,000 followers, and posted a screenshot of a tweet about him. The tweet said, “A famous singer wants to hook up with me but isn’t cute. Do I do it just to say I did?”

MNEK responded to the tweet with the words, “take ten guesses who the lucky famous singer was????”

MNEK later posted a second picture in which he explained his perspective on the situation.

“you could argue that I should be more careful with who i hook up with because i’m somewhat of a public figure.” [sic]

He then added, “but as a single young man, I gotta get my fix somehow. Can’t fuck in fear lol pls.” [sic]

More: Successful Songwriter MNEK Just Dropped His Debut Solo Album

Unfortunately, MNEK chose not to blur out the face and username of the man who first burned him. As such, his fans swarmed the account and the man has since changed his Twitter handle.

In addition, the man has tweeted that he is a “good person” who “sometimes does stupid stuff.” He has also asked MNEK’s fans to “Please take your hate elsewhere.”

Do You Date Outside Your Political Party?

Do You Date Outside Your Political Party? Can there be sex across political lines?


I’m a registered Democrat, but openly Libertarian and voted for Hillary Clinton. I see nonsense from all political parties, yet swing more left on most of the topics. In no way am I a Trump Supporter, but I can clearly understand why the Republican party, in particular, has been so popular in history and especially since more modern Republicans begin to evolve further from their traditional values. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to see both sides of any argument. But when it comes to dating, should I be turned down for a date with someone because of my political affiliation, because I’m Libertarian? And on the flip side, should I deny someone because they are a Left or Right-Wing Radical?


Over my short life, I’ve witnessed the internet and social media take over the world. Everyone has an opinion – and your opinion doesn’t necessarily have to be tasteful, since there's likely another Keyboard Warrior who will come to your defense. Case in point: The Election. Ever since Donald Trump was miraculously elected into The White House, I’ve encountered countless anxieties on social media and in life. There still isn’t a day that passes when I’ll spot someone ranting to: “Delete me if you’re a Republican!” Granted, I’m using proper punctuation, a lack of emojis, and less aggressive language. During Thanksgiving 2017, I was scrolling through the socials and kept finding many posts about people proclaiming they screamed at Republican family members over the holiday weekend. Was this a little far-fetched? Our voices are much louder on social media than they are in reality. But because of these alleged heated interactions, I began to question ... Do politics make a person?


For me, I would be open to dating someone outside of my political circle and beliefs. I don’t think many would agree with me. I know at least a hundred people who wouldn’t even be kind to someone who is in a different political party from them. To be honest, I don’t believe I even know many gay Republicans anymore, but I’m still open to going on a date with anyone across the political spectrum, just as long as they aren’t trying to use our dinner to pull me over to their mindset like in a high-pressure timeshare sales meeting. I’ve made up my own neutral standing and love where I am at politically, as it has kept me sane since the 45th President has changed our lives.


Is dating someone within your political party important to you?  Well if you're interested in reaching out and you are blue in more ways than one, Trump Supporters have their own dating website.


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine and was originally written in March of 2018.  Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

Andy Cohen Opens Up About Dating And Using Gay Apps

Andy Cohen seems to be getting more personal than ever and we don't mind!

In his talk with Attitude Magazine for their October issue, Cohen was asked about his attitudes towards sex. In his response, he shared that he doesn't hide anything when it comes to talking about sex.

“I talk about poppers and about bottoms on my show,” he said during the interview. “That’s the thing, I’m really open about who I am and am unapologetic, so I think there’s something freeing in that.”

Andy Cohen has been out since the 1980s and says he’s gotten used to talking about his sexuality. But according to him, and shared in Queerty, that wasn’t always the case.

“I came out in 1988, at the height of the [AIDS] epidemic,” he says. “I was so scared to have sex. And it’s why I’m alive today, because I was really scared.”

“It was a scary time to be gay, it was a scary time to be sexual… It’s always kind of there in one way or another. It’s not something you can erase from your experience.” 

 

 

Now, he says what really scares him is getting out there to date.

“I think it’s harder for other people to sit down with me and have a date because they have preconceived notions,” Andy says.

“If I had never dated myself or I didn’t know me and it was just based on TV, I don’t know what I would think. I have no idea.”

But what about dating apps like Grindr and it’s new Kindr campaign? Well, Cohen says he still uses them… on occasion.

“I have been, kind of on-and-off because it’s challenging,” he explains. “It’s weird. It was probably more uncomplicated hooking up before I became famous.”

“I still hook up,” he adds. “I mean, a guy’s gotta eat!”

Thanks Andy for being open and honest about being just like us when it comes to trying to find fun as well as "the one."

h/t: Attitude Magazine, Queerty

Here's Tons of Photographic Evidence that Brad Pitt Always Morphs Into His Girlfriends

Start off your day with some bizarre fun. Specifically, embrace the pure ridiculous pleasure of this photographic evidence suggesting Brad Pitt always needs to dress like whomever he is dating.

OMG Blog via Bored Panda shared this hilarious photo gallery after someone on Twitter unsurfaced an old Daily Express article about the star’s apparent copycat behavior of his girlfriends’ respective wardrobes.

Some of our favorites include:

Gwyneth Paltrow

Thandie Newton

And of course, Angelina Jolie.

Check out the whole gallery at Bored Panda.

Jolie filed for divorce from Pitt in 2016; it’s still pending. Pitt remains one of the most powerful and influential people in the entertainment industry, with a net worth of $240 million. He’s been nominated for four acting Academy Awards, and he won two Oscar for producing 12 Years A Slave and The Departed.

ALSO— he frequently looks hella like the women he dates.

h/t: OMG Blog

Are Gay Apps Good or Bad When it Comes to Long Term Dating?

Seeing as I fit into the mold of what a millennial is, I’m fully aware of the gay app culture that has risen over the years. With the age that I am, I didn't live through a world where the norm was meeting a guy at a bar, cruising at a gay hotspot and relying on a rotary phone in order to connect with a potential dating prospect or hook up with one per se. 

With the internet generation in full swing, we were introduced to gay chat rooms back in the day with AOL among others that slowly shifted into gay men's chat sites such as Gay.com, Manhunt, Adam4Adam and of course the original one for bears like me... Bear411.

When the app culture became apparent, a lot of those websites sort of became antiquated and made room for prevalent gay apps such as Grindr, Scruff, Growlr and Daddyhunt. There has also been the epic debate on dating gay world and seeing if its extinct or evolving, where most people I have asked had strong opinions on one or the other. Question is when it comes to extinct or evolving, do gay apps help or hurt that cause and are they the reason for the downfall of long term dating?

As a preface, the question asked above does not mean that I am judging how each individual man wants to find a significant other or others.  The "New Normal" has come in, and when it comes to bear apps, you can find whatever new normal works for you and go for it.  There are incredibly positive points when it comes to using those apps.  It doesn't always have to be for dating or f***ing, you really can find someone of similar interests and develop a great friendship out of it.  Heck, it happened for me multiple times.  When it comes to sex, you can find out ahead of time if what you are into mutually works with the other person (or persons) so when it comes time to get naked there isn't any awkwardness and its pretty much straight forward.

Dating however on these apps seem to come with a ton of blurred lines.  The common complaint that I hear from a ton of my single friends is that it is hard to navigate a dating site when a good 50 percent (or more) of the men on there are in an open relationship or partnered.  They don't understand their usage for the site if they already found someone and think that they are really on there to find a 3rd for them or just a hookup which negates the purpose of a dating app in their eyes. 

You also have the "keyboard warriors" who hide behind these apps and can be whomever the hell they want to be including catfishing multiple men into thinking they are the guy you are talking to but really aren't.  Take it from me as someone who has had imposters in Raleigh, New Orleans, San Francisco and even NYC- you really wonder who the f**k you are talking to on here and if they aren't who they say they are then why are they doing this?

After polling my friends about this, the responses were chock full with how they view each side of the spectrum.  A lot of them pretty much said "It is how you use the apps".  One person who was pro apps said "I met my ex of three years on there.  What's killing long term dating are people who are in love with falling in love".

Take a look at the colorful responses from other like-minded individuals on how they viewed gay apps in the modern world-

"I think it kills the expectations of something long-term. This includes friendships. Not that it isn't possible, but it just seems like a majority of people would rather hide behind keys or just move on to the newest thing. It's frustrating at times because guys at times are so stuck in their criteria of who is "allowed" to talk to them, that it just kills the vibe. Granted I cannot speak for everyone, just my own small experiences."

"I think it depends on the individual. It is what you make it..."

"I have had a love/hate thing with those apps. I don't see the them as "dating" apps to be honest. To me it's just a social thing. Window shopping. Digital voyeurism. If I meet someone for conversation, maybe some fun then it's all good. Should I get luck and manage a date? Then it was a pleasant surprise. Oddly enough I've made many new friends off of them both in the ether and in the real world. So that's something."

"I'd say NO. People use apps differently.  Some use them for hookups.  Some use them as a way to interact with other men when they are not part of or venture into the "scene".  Some use them because they fear rejection and it's faster to find someone into them and there is less anxiety than an in person rejection. Some use them to seek a specific type who are into the same things they are or are compatible with (ex: fetishes, builds, sexual preference, endowment, gym, hair color, eye color, sports, hobbies, age, health status, etc...)."

Flashback:1970s- "are sexy clubs and bath houses killing long term dating?"

Flashback:1980s- "is cocaine and dance clubs killing long term dating"

Flashback: 1990s-"is ecstasy and circuit parties killing long term dating"

Flashback: 2000s- "are Internet chat rooms killing long term dating?"

Flash forward 2020s- "are virtual reality sex bots and the fact that no one leaves the house anymore killing long term dating?"

"It's all a crapshoot but when 2 people click and have a healthy sense of their individual selves want to make it work, they do."

"Why blame the apps...blame the dick heads on them".

Clearly this is something that every person isn't going to agree on.  Question for you though, with the digital world in full swing and here to stay (for as long as I can see it), what will it do to modern dating in the next 10 years?

This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

Blake Mitchell Laments The Pressures A Porn Career Has On Dating

Helix Studios porn star Blake Mitchell wants you to know that, yes, it is possible to be lonely with over 200K followers on social media.

In a new video posted to his YouTube channel, Mitchell laments the pressures his career has on his personal life.

First of all, the handsome adult performer finds there are a lot of folks who may appear to have dating potential, but then it turns out his celebrity is what they’re after.

“I have had situations where I have been interested in someone, and we have been hanging out for a while, when they suddenly start asking me for a shout-out, or for me to promote this or that,” he shares.

And even if he finds someone genuine, his porn celebrity comes into play again when out and about on a date.

“I’ve been out to the bars before and people will say things to me that, because I am a sex worker, they think it is acceptable to say to a total stranger: complimenting my… size, or my body, making sexual remarks to me,” says Mitchell. “Besides making me uncomfortable, if I am with someone who I am interested in, this can be a little embarrassing.”

And then there's the fact a busy porn career involves lots of travel which can have an impact on relationships.

“My significant other has to sit at home while I make frequent trips across the country,” says the 20-year-old. “While they are left home alone, I am having sex with other people, sometimes several other people. 

“And on top of all that, it is all being filmed and uploaded to the internet, where they are very likely to see it. This has made it very hard to find someone who will put up with me filming porn, let alone be happy and supportive about it.”

All that said, Mitchell makes it clear he has no intention of giving up a career he’s passionate about and enjoys. He sums up his thoughts by thanking his fans for their support and positivity.

“I appreciate and am deeply grateful to be in the position that I am, to have so many of you want to follow along and engage in my personal journey. But that doesn’t change the fact that all of that support and positivity, it’s all confined to my cell phone, to a 3x6” piece of plastic, metal, and glass. When I’m laying in bed at night, and I turn my phone off to get ready for bed, I’m alone. At that point, it doesn’t matter if I have 1 million or 100 subscribes, when I turn my phone off for the night, I have none.”

Watch the handsome Mr. Mitchell explain below.

 

 

What do you think, readers? Would you find dating a handsome porn star challenging? Or would you enjoy the fact that they're hot, fun and know what they're doing?

New Poll Shows 14% Of Americans Having Sex At Work

With somewhere between 5-10% of the population reported to be LGBTQ, its easy to see why gay folks might have a more difficult time finding a potential romance in the workplace.

For those reasons, many have found dating apps to be useful in connecting with like-minded folks outside of work.

HoweverThe New York Post recently reported on a new study shows that for those who do make a ‘love connection’ at work, a substantial number say they’ve done the deed at the office.

Sex store EdenFantasys commissioned a survey of 2,000 Americans to find out more about romance in the workplace.

The data shows 14% of Americans admit to having sex at their place of employment.

Of those who engaged in office playtime, one in five revealed they were caught in the act.

More from the poll:

• 92% of those who engaged in an office romance said it made going to work more exciting

• Over half of the respondents said an office romance made them more ‘productive’ 

• One in ten admitted to having sex with their boss

• 34% of those folks say they did so to advance their career at work

• 17% of workplace romances cost someone their job

• 1 in 4 co-worker relationships end and result in awkward situations at work

• 60% of all workplace relationships end within 12 months

• However, there’s good news - 1 in 4 workplace romances end in marriage

• But 34% of workplace romances involve someone who’s already married or engaged

So, have you found a 'love connection' at work? Let us know in the comments below.

Dine And Dash Dater Strikes Again!

#LOL! Let’s play a hypothetical game real quick: You’re lonely, single – obviously, and have nothing to do besides swipe right on everyone on your dating apps while you caress your cat. You continue swiping your thumb hoping to meet Prince Charming, when to your surprise…the latest attractive man matched with you?! What are the odds? You proceed to chat with him and he swoons you. Without question, you’re obviously going to go out on a date with this guy. So, you get all fancy, you probably tell your favorite coworker - who you shouldn’t be sharing that much with, and shave beforehand: Who knows, right?! On your date you find out your match made in internet heaven has quite a heavy appetite, but he’s going to pay, so who cares? As ideal as this sounds…the date is going to cost you a lot more than just your confidence.


Last night, I came across a video because a ton of my heterosexual friends were leaving obscene comments. The video showcases a news segment from CBS where a California man is setting up single women from the internet to meet him at expensive restaurants. He proceeds to order a hammock’s worth of food – then slickly leaves his date with the bill! This wasn’t just a one time deal, it’s the fourth person who has come forward to state they’ve been duped by 44-year-old, Paul Gonzalez, who has an online identity as “Mike” or as the media prefers, “The Dine and Dash Dater”.  


One of the women, who obviously refused to be identified, tells:

“Of course, I’m not happy that this happened to me. I was like, ‘Wow, this is crazy’. He’s a very, very handsome man. His eyes are absolutely gorgeous. He order shrimp tacos before I arrived. Now, it makes me angry. Because, you know, there are so many men who prey on innocent women like me who are looking for love. I’m definitely deleting my [dating] profile.”


The fourth woman who spoke to CBS may have gotten off lucky. Gonzalez was recognized by restaurant patrons as the Dine and Dash Dater and reported him to management. The restaurant manager asked Gonzalez to leave before informing the lonely dater her date wasn’t going to end as she wanted.


CBS reports Gonzalez has been arrested several times for misdemeanor charges and has been reported to have gotten a cut and color at a hair salon in Burbank, California and ditched without paying.


The comment section of the video is worthy of a gander. Plenty of men are complaining that women “do this all the time”, while most are in agreement that separate checks should be split for any first date. West Coast singles beware … cupid is not looking out for you with this dashing dater.


Check out the video below to hear more of the Dasher:

 

Dating is hard enough out there it seems.  Then, if you finally find someone, and they do this? Is this what we have to look forward to once we get that 'swipe right' match?

Should there be a let us put our credit cards on the table before we order policy?

Intincters, have you ever been the victim of a Dine and Dasher? Tell us about it in the comments on here or on Facebook.

Better yet, have you been a Dine and Dasher on someone?  Why?

And if it is a first date and he doesn't Dine and Dash, do you split the bill?

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