#Dating

New Poll Shows 14% Of Americans Having Sex At Work

With somewhere between 5-10% of the population reported to be LGBTQ, its easy to see why gay folks might have a more difficult time finding a potential romance in the workplace.

For those reasons, many have found dating apps to be useful in connecting with like-minded folks outside of work.

HoweverThe New York Post recently reported on a new study shows that for those who do make a ‘love connection’ at work, a substantial number say they’ve done the deed at the office.

Sex store EdenFantasys commissioned a survey of 2,000 Americans to find out more about romance in the workplace.

The data shows 14% of Americans admit to having sex at their place of employment.

Of those who engaged in office playtime, one in five revealed they were caught in the act.

More from the poll:

• 92% of those who engaged in an office romance said it made going to work more exciting

• Over half of the respondents said an office romance made them more ‘productive’ 

• One in ten admitted to having sex with their boss

• 34% of those folks say they did so to advance their career at work

• 17% of workplace romances cost someone their job

• 1 in 4 co-worker relationships end and result in awkward situations at work

• 60% of all workplace relationships end within 12 months

• However, there’s good news - 1 in 4 workplace romances end in marriage

• But 34% of workplace romances involve someone who’s already married or engaged

So, have you found a 'love connection' at work? Let us know in the comments below.

Dine And Dash Dater Strikes Again!

#LOL! Let’s play a hypothetical game real quick: You’re lonely, single – obviously, and have nothing to do besides swipe right on everyone on your dating apps while you caress your cat. You continue swiping your thumb hoping to meet Prince Charming, when to your surprise…the latest attractive man matched with you?! What are the odds? You proceed to chat with him and he swoons you. Without question, you’re obviously going to go out on a date with this guy. So, you get all fancy, you probably tell your favorite coworker - who you shouldn’t be sharing that much with, and shave beforehand: Who knows, right?! On your date you find out your match made in internet heaven has quite a heavy appetite, but he’s going to pay, so who cares? As ideal as this sounds…the date is going to cost you a lot more than just your confidence.


Last night, I came across a video because a ton of my heterosexual friends were leaving obscene comments. The video showcases a news segment from CBS where a California man is setting up single women from the internet to meet him at expensive restaurants. He proceeds to order a hammock’s worth of food – then slickly leaves his date with the bill! This wasn’t just a one time deal, it’s the fourth person who has come forward to state they’ve been duped by 44-year-old, Paul Gonzalez, who has an online identity as “Mike” or as the media prefers, “The Dine and Dash Dater”.  


One of the women, who obviously refused to be identified, tells:

“Of course, I’m not happy that this happened to me. I was like, ‘Wow, this is crazy’. He’s a very, very handsome man. His eyes are absolutely gorgeous. He order shrimp tacos before I arrived. Now, it makes me angry. Because, you know, there are so many men who prey on innocent women like me who are looking for love. I’m definitely deleting my [dating] profile.”


The fourth woman who spoke to CBS may have gotten off lucky. Gonzalez was recognized by restaurant patrons as the Dine and Dash Dater and reported him to management. The restaurant manager asked Gonzalez to leave before informing the lonely dater her date wasn’t going to end as she wanted.


CBS reports Gonzalez has been arrested several times for misdemeanor charges and has been reported to have gotten a cut and color at a hair salon in Burbank, California and ditched without paying.


The comment section of the video is worthy of a gander. Plenty of men are complaining that women “do this all the time”, while most are in agreement that separate checks should be split for any first date. West Coast singles beware … cupid is not looking out for you with this dashing dater.


Check out the video below to hear more of the Dasher:

 

Dating is hard enough out there it seems.  Then, if you finally find someone, and they do this? Is this what we have to look forward to once we get that 'swipe right' match?

Should there be a let us put our credit cards on the table before we order policy?

Intincters, have you ever been the victim of a Dine and Dasher? Tell us about it in the comments on here or on Facebook.

Better yet, have you been a Dine and Dasher on someone?  Why?

And if it is a first date and he doesn't Dine and Dash, do you split the bill?

Would You Change Your Hobbies For A Man?


One Of The 13 Reasons Why Actors Believes You Should!

#WishyWashy! Okay, let’s be honest. At some point in your life, you likely changed something about you in order to get the attention – and affection – of someone you’re interested in. Nothing and no one is stronger than those butterflies you get in your stomach when we think that 'love is in the air.' Chances are you changed something about you, but would you switch all of your hobbies only because the guy you’re interested in lives a completely different lifestyle? One hottie from the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why  seems to think so!


 

 


According to Cosmopolitan, Ross Butler, who returns as a regular cast member in Netflix’s most controversial series, believes one should become invested in the hobbies of the person they want to date. Butler elaborates:

“The way to a guy’s heart is through his hobbies. Find out what he’s passionate about, and if you really love him, get into it too. If I meet a girl who can talk video games, guitar, cooking, or good books, it’s a huge turn-on. And lots of guys like to teach, so if you can get hands-on with learning it, I’m telling you, you’ll get there.”


Learning about someone else’s interests is completely healthy. I may admit to visiting a gun range and I may have begrudgingly watched an 'Action Film' I didn’t care for, but I wouldn’t be able to mesh well with anyone who lived a completely opposite lifestyle than mine.  For instance, as I approach my late 20s, I’ve met countless bachelors who have vowed to sobriety, but as a mid-20s Millennial who still likes to kick a few back on the weekend; I find it difficult to try and date someone who wouldn’t participate in wine tastings and the like. There are some thing I will try and some things I cannot live without.


The idea that anyone should have to change their hobbies to appear more appetizing is downright a difficult pill to swallow. You’d technically be claiming to be someone you aren’t. Hypothetically, what if you decided to alter yourself to become something you aren’t to impress another person and you completely fail at it? I’m all for playing Clueless like Cher Horowitz and try to cook a meal before a guy comes over, but let’s get real, you won’t be with someone for too long if all you can do is try to fake it to impress him when it's not really you.


Although Ross Butler’s opinion may be - uhh, immature - for the lack of a better word, you can still catch his cuteness on the second season of 13 Reasons Why when it premieres May 18th on Netflix.

While you wait for the anticipated new season, I beg the question: Would you change your hobbies for a love interest?

 

h/t: Cosmopolitan


This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject. 

Troye Sivan Opens Up About The Time He Realized He Was Gay

Gay Pop singer Troye Sivan is opening up about the time when he came to realize his sexuality.

In an interview with Attitude Magazine, Sivan shared that his sexual awakening was thanks to Zac Efron.

“I remember I cried when I realized that I thought Zac Efron was really hot, [when I was] aged 13 or something like that,” Sivan says. “I cried. And felt really sick… It wasn’t just: ‘This is a little crush on a boy or something like that: I’m not just interested in this boy–I think that’s he hot.’ And that was weird for me.”

The singer also talked about dating as a gay teenager.

"All my friends were hooking-up with random people at parties, and I just felt so left behind because I didn’t know gay people, I didn’t know where to meet gay people," Sivan says. "I didn’t really want to venture out by myself and so I just did stuff that a 17-year-old boy shouldn’t really have to do.”

 

 

 

A post shared by Jacob Bixenman (@jacobbix) on

 

Sivan went further to explain that he eventually figured out that he could fake his age on Grindr and meet guys through there.

“I managed to get a fake ID and then I got Grindr on my phone and started to try to meet people who were like me, but you sort of are forced a little bit into these hyper-sexualised environments, and even though that’s awesome when you’re 17… I didn’t know what else to do."

Perhaps, that’s around the time that he met the worst Grindr date of his life. Sivan shared in an earlier interview with PopCrush that he was hanging out with a guy he’d met on Gridnr when the guy suddenly pulled out his phone to look for someone else.

“It was a while ago, back in a time when it was a little bit less accepted and a little bit more scary,” Sivan told PopCrush. “I was like, ‘Okay. I think I'm just gonna go home.’”

Thankfully, all that’s behind him as Sivan’s found a wonderful boyfriend in model Jacob Bixenman.

“He’s got like a kind of energy about him, a magnetic sort of energy. I think people can’t help but love him. He’s just got one of those personalities that draws people in… It’s kind of like having your best friend around all the time, which is really nice.”

Congrats to the happy couple.

Years And Years' Frontman Explains His Perfect Dating Situation

British band Years and Years had an exciting debut two years ago with their first album, titled Communion, that sold over a million copies worldwide.

Now, frontman Olly Alexander and his band are gearing up for the release of their new album, Palo Santo, in July. To prepare for that, Alexander has been doing some interviews.

One recent interview he did was with BBC and during it the singer-songwriter opened up about his dream relationship and his thoughts on the gay community.

“What I think would suit me was if I was in a thruple and the other two guys lived in a house nearby.”

“I could visit them every now and then and they’d cook me dinner, and then I could just go home and watch TV by myself.”

Of course, the singer knows that this kind of relationship setup, while possible, is mostly just a pipe dream. That said, he’s still hoping for something better than the relationship he had with a straight man that inspired his song, “Sanctify.”

Also, the singer opened up about his thoughts on the gay community and the club scene.

“I think a lot about how clubs are almost like queer churches. You go and congregate and you dance. That’s always been a sacred experience for me, although it’s been both positive and negative.”

If you’re excited to hear the new album by Years and Years, you don’t have to wait too long. Palo Santo will be coming out on July 6.

h/t: GayStarNews

Are Dating Preferences Discriminatory?


Does Society Affect Our Attractions?

In February 2018, Vice released an article specifically addressing the subject of a Transgender dating demographic. One quote from the transgender woman and writer, Abigail Curlew, is:

“[she isn’t suggesting it’s] imperative to be attracted to trans women…[but] your attraction is shaped by preconceived notions and stereotypes.”

Curlew begs us, although seemingly only cisgendered heterosexual men, to “critically reflect on the factors that might shape your attractions.”


In the conclusion, Curlew understands that dating preferences are simply, well, preferences, and discourages people to view videos such as Riley J. Denniscontroversial vlog which stating everyone should essentially be…bisexual(?)…are harmful to the transgender community- which is true. Curlew’s article has been circulating across my social media for the last two months and continues to get a variety of comments, especially from the heterosexual community. Some of the heinous comments make me wonder if people are actually buying the Straight Pride pin off Amazon…but I digress.


I’ve definitely questioned myself after reading Curlew’s article. Is society truly affecting our attraction to other people? Within the media, I see countless interracial couples, various age gaps, and even dating within the transgender community, as seen recently with Laverne Cox showcasing her new boyfriend. Society has been progressing over the last decade and it still continues to move forward today. Just look at current commercials: What once was fully of busty blondes – essentially becoming the term All American – we now see more ethnically ambiguous persons advertising love and a happy home. We’re moving ahead as a society, and while we aren’t where we all want to be yet. Progression doesn’t happen overnight. With more positive influences in the media and society, I fully expect to witness an abundance of complete opposites dating. However, to say society is the reason we have dating preferences is a bit fickle.  


Personally speaking, I find myself arguably attracted to a wide variety of personalities and bodies. Typically, I have a type, and that is Older, but I’m known to be a little flexible. In the same breath, I know there is a huge dating scene – although much more closeted – for heterosexual men and the transgender women community. Everyone has a niche and will seek out what turns them on the most. There’s nothing wrong with that, but rejection takes the most control over an ego, which leads to ridiculous vlogs and blogs of people whining they are being discriminated against for dating preferences. Some people truly are cruel and rude, yes, but I’m failing to see the big issue with dating preferences.


I frequently joke through various articles about my desperation while being single, but I act almost as if I can’t get a man to turn his neck as I walk pass. That’s not true. I get hit on, plenty, yet I remain single by choice – as I want to genuinely be attracted to someone and not force feed myself some bogus relationship for the sake of comfort, loneliness, or sharing memories together on social media. I’ve been attracted to an endless amount of men who aren’t attracted to me. People merely have a type and don’t tend to sway far from it.


We could sit here all day and argue the hypocrisy in the dating game. I’ve encountered plenty of jocks­ – for the lack of a better term – who have turned me away for being too feminine. Yet, I see them in a crop top and booty shorts in the club while they’re on GHB with their arms around a local Drag Queen screaming “YAS!” I’ve ghosted on an older man once (or twice) and gave him a cold shoulder when he requested a reason. I never gave one, which he without reason alleged it was age difference– only to spot me on a date with a man his age a few weeks later.


I would also absolutely laugh in your face if you told me I had to be attracted to an 18-year-old College Student who had a crush on me. That’s never going to happen. Why is age the only justified reason for not being attracted to someone? I wouldn’t have anything in common with a teenager – especially be attracted to one – but if he is attracted to me, does that mean I must automatically give him a chance? NO!


In my opinion, we’ve got to stop putting pressure on someone for having a preference in dating and stop labeling it transphobic, femmephobic, racist, or the like. Are we all so narcissistic and vein that we must blame others for not finding us attractive? What ever happened to “there’s plenty of other fish in the sea?" Is that phrase long dead since we live in too politically correct society? It’s time to stop with the excuses. Wherever your from, whomever did you wrong, didn’t be who you wanted them to be- anything. It cannot be about other people anymore and how they’ve affected our mentality. It’s up to us to find love and consensual relationships. It’s time to stop trying to force them.


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.  

Do You Date Outside Your Political Party?

Do You Date Outside Your Political Party?


Are You With Him?

Which led me to wonder, can there be sex without politics? I’m a gay Millennial who essentially grew up in the age of the Internet. Hell, by the time I was 8 years old I had already been sneaking into AOL chatrooms pretending to be someone I definitely wasn’t: An “18-year-old, female from Arizona” – essentially the only other state I knew existed besides my own. Sue me, I was imaginative…or just wanted to be treated as a girl.


Over my short life, I’ve witnessed the internet and social media take over the world. Everyone has an opinion – and your opinion doesn’t necessarily have to be tasteful, since there is likely another Keyboard Warrior who will come to your defense. Case in point: The Election. Ever since Donald Trump was miraculously elected into The White House, I’ve encountered countless anxieties on social media and in life. There still isn’t a day which passes when I’ll spot someone ranting to: “Delete me if you’re a Republican!” Granted, I’m using proper punctuation, a lack of emojis, and less aggressive language. During Thanksgiving 2017, I was scrolling to find many people we’re proclaiming they screamed at Republican family members and the like. It sounded a little far-fetched, but our voices are much louder on social media than they are in reality. I began to question: Do politics make a person?


I’m a registered Democrat, but openly Libertarian- who voted for Hillary Clinton. I see nonsense from all political parties, yet swing more left depending on the topic. In no way am I a Trump Supporter – I’m not insane – but, I can clearly understand why the Republican party, in particular, has been so popular in history, especially as more modern Republicans begin to evolve further from their traditional values. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to see both sides to any argument – and this fully crosses into politics as well. Should I be denied a date with someone because I’m Libertarian? Furthermore, should I deny someone because they are a Left or Right-Wing Radical?


As you may already know, Trump Supporters have their own dating website, so luckily I won’t be running into anyone criminally disturbed. To be honest, I don’t believe I even know many gay Republicans, anymore, but I’m still open to going on a date with anyone on the Political spectrum, so as long as they aren’t trying to bring me out to dinner in a high-pressure timeshare sales meeting to join their mindset. I’ve made up my own and love my neutral standing, as it has kept me sane since the 45th President has changed our lives. I don’t think many would agree with me. I know at least a hundred people who wouldn’t even be kind to someone who is in a different political party from them. Jeez, a simple look at some Facebook comments will have people being called snowflakes and worse.


Is dating someone within your political party important to you?


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine.  Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.