Study Says Open Relationships Might Be Going Away Thanks To Gay Marriage

new study focusing on gay men’s thoughts around monogamy says that younger gay men are moving away from non-monogamous relationships.

The study (or rather, survey) was run by researchers and couple Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears. The two asked 832 gay men between the ages of 18 and 39-years old a series of questions involving monogamy.

They did this because they personally wanted to know where gay men’s heads were concerning the topic.

“We had been in a non-monogamous relationship for 36 years and were curious about the experience of others,” they shared through The Couple’s Study.

“There wasn’t any road map and we assumed long-term couples might offer valuable perspectives and hard-earned lessons.”

The two were soon surprised to find that the younger generation is verging off from the lifestyle they had chosen.

"Probably the most striking finding of this study is that younger gay men seem to be more inclined toward monogamy than their elders," the pair wrote in their reflection from the study’s results.

The results found that 86% of respondents that were in a relationship were monogamous and the remaining 14% were not. As for those who were single, 90% said that they were looking for a monogamous relationship.

Dissecting that last group even more, 44% of single men between the ages of 26 and 40 said they were open to the possibility of a non-monogamous relationship. Meanwhile, only 29% of single men who were 25 or younger were open to the idea.

In the breakdown section of the results, some participants shared their thoughts on why the results came out the way they did.

On respondent replied:

“My impression is that younger people are oriented more toward monogamy. The reason is the fact that gay culture is becoming assimilated into the mainstream, and monogamy is part of the assimilation. The idea of finding and settling down with your soul mate is desirable, and the fact that with gay marriage, that’s more attainable now.”

Another answered with an opposite impression:

"I don’t feel supported by the gay community in having a monogamous relationship. In fact, the norm seems to be open relationships, and we feel judged, and even pressured, to open things up, when people find out we’re monogamous."

What do you think? Do you think gay relationships are becoming more monogamous or are they opening up more?

Are Dating Apps Better Than Nightclubs?

Are Dating Apps Better Than Nightclubs?

Is Dating Digitally Easier?

#SINGLE. Alright, I’m constantly telling you how rough the dating scene is…at least in West Hollywood, California. Yes, we have a variety of men including plenty of Instagram models, retired twinks, and silver foxes to name a few. With bountiful men comes plenty of options. However, I consistently find myself coming up short. While online dating is not my preference, I’ve found many comparisons to how gay men interact in person and online. It makes me question: Is online dating easier than approaching someone at a bar?

Okay, let’s go through the cons of online dating: I’m well aware of the heinous acts which may occur. There’s a handful of people catfishing – or using a fake profile – to accumulate nude photographs and simply just cyber as they chat with someone under the guise of meeting. Online dating, depending on which website you are using, may essentially seem like a virtual bathhouse. To this day, rather than a hello or an emoji, I’ll receive a photograph of someone’s genitals and typically it’s not something I wish to see. But, alas, my curiosity still gets the best of me and I’m constantly checking my dating apps – and have yet found success. So yes, it’s obvious there are some seedy people on the internet, but those types are everywhere. At least you aren’t having to actively deal with them in person.

However, I can’t help but feel more people have confidence online than they do in their real lives. Prime examples are the Keyboard Warriors which overcome our social media on a daily basis. It’s easiest to live through an avatar than your actual being, for sure. Yet, if someone is actually true to their real life persona as they are to their online identity: Will online dating benefit them?

Chances are, if I’m out at a bar, I’m strictly out to enjoy a night with my friends and minimally socialize with anyone outside of our group or the bar staff. Paint me with the Millennial scarlet letter, but I tend to pregame and end up living my best life without worrying on making a lasting impression on other patrons. Hell, even if someone spots me in a retail store among errands; I’m not necessarily looking to be swooned: I’d rather get what I need and leave! I’m not really familiar with the days before dating websites and apps existed, so what am I to do? Go to the library or join a book club? That’s not in my cards.

Immediately when browsing on an app, you see someone’s photograph: Exactly as you’d seem them in real life – sans filter. On your dating profile, you’re able to give a biography of yourself and link to your various social media accounts. Which is something I don’t find available to a stranger upon seeing them in person. It’s a way to dive into who they truly may be: Their friends, hobbies, occupation, and even family. I can get a much better read on someone through the internet – at the very least what they wish to portray – than in person. To me, it’s literally the same type of first impression you can get nearly anywhere. With an option to meet in public rather than walking in anonymously, I believe online dating is – dare I say it – healthier. Which is a little scary if you consider human interaction is becoming so scarce. Although I don’t side with online dating: Why am I seeing the advantages to it?

Do you prefer to meet your new potential knights in shining armor in person or over the internet?

This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

Does The Gay Community Normalize ChemSex?

Does The Gay Community Normalize ChemSex?

Do You PNP?

#INSTINCTAFTERDARK! In yet another article in my long line of topics not appropriate for work - or the day time - I want to touch base on this not-so-hidden world of ChemSex. ChemSex, or more commonly referred to as PNP (Party aNd Play) is honestly a topic this gay Millennial finds so common with the hook up culture. 

One time, I inadvertently wound up at a gay sex party. Basically, after months of convincing, I met this guy off a dating app and we went over to his place. He was up front his roommates would be there, but wasn’t so honest about what his roommates would be doing. Yeah, his roommates were having a full-on, about fifteen person orgy in their living room. There were a lot of towels, and a handful of guys around my age at the time- early 20s. At first, I participated in this so called party. It began with some drinking and smoking marijuana in underwear in one of the best homes I’ve ever been in. Why would I say no? Well, before I knew it, many of the guys were taking shots of GHB. I politely declined with judging eyes; there was a time and a place to try that, for me it was called college. Soon after, a new pipe and smell clogged my nose: The wicked scent of lust - or PNP. Uncomfortable, I put on my clothes and stepped on a balcony to chain smoke and text a friend. I went back inside hoping my online hookup would be a knight in shining armor, not partaking. His lips told a separate story from his actions. I left with some blue balls and one hell of a story. 

After years to think and plenty more experience in gay culture, I’ve came across a variety of men who PNP regularly. I’ve even had an attempt to be convinced it’s healthier for you than alcohol. On dating profiles, it’s publicly advertised...and partially accepted. 

Are we normalizing ChemSex culture? Is there something that may be done to prevent this from becoming the new normal? 

This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

This article was originally inspired by VICE.