#GayMen

This Child's Pit Stop to the Use the Toilet Went Incredibly Wrong

A cruising hot spot in Edinburgh was raided this week after an uncle and his 6-year-old nephew came across a group of 12 men performing sex acts earlier this week. Edinburgh News reports that the Mound toilets are a popular destination for gay men looking for a good time in public, but the uncle did not know this.

When he and his nephew needed to make a pit stop before a shopping trip, they stumbled upon the group of men, one of which was on his knees in front of another man while the others surrounded them as they pleasured themselves.

The 32-year-old unidentified man shared with Edinburgh News:

I totally understand that cruising happens in every city but to do it in the public view takes it to another level. I just quickly walked out. Luckily I had my nephew over my shoulder facing the other direction. I was just so taken aback. I think from now on I’ll be using toilets within premises as I don’t want to experience anything like that again.

It really concerns me that if a child not with an adult was to go into the toilets what situation is that? Children go back to parents and say they’ve seen things. Wouldn’t that then make a parent think someone intentionally indecently exposed themselves to a child?

Authorities raided the public toilets and one witness claimed several men ran out as police ran in. Others were taken outside and questioned.

This incident is still being investigated, but a spokesperson from Edinburgh urges the public to report any such behavior in public toilets to authorities immediately.

h/t: Edinburgh News

Can Older and Younger Gay Men Forge a Friendship Without Physical Attraction?

When you go to your run-of-the-mill gay bar, chances are that you will see an assortment of men hanging out with one another, maybe making out or more, on any given night. The age range in each group tends to be within 5-10 years of each other, as you usually don’t see a 21-year-old hanging out with guys almost three times his age.

Judgment from other gay men usually does happen when that sort of thing becomes a visibility, where snarkiness ensues and the assumption is that the younger man in question is being paid to hang out with someone much older than him or that they are simply in a sexual situation. This usually isn’t the case (and if it is, it’s no one’s business but their own), but it does beg the question about if men from much different generations can forge a friendship without physical intimacy being involved.

It's not just the bar scene where this is seen and discussed. You will find these sorts of scenarios happening at popular gay eateries or at any major gay event across the country. Take for instance the younger guy being the only one in a group of men twice their age while they are out and about. What does the impressionable lad have in common with men who have had many years of experience on them (left open to interpretation) that can lead to him being simply friends with all of them without the thought of sex getting in the way? 

I asked this question to my friends on social media last week to get their perspective: "Can older and younger gay men forge a friendship without physical attraction?" The answer to that question primarily was a big ole “YES”, but others gave their two cents on why it isn't that simple.

Some wondered why I was even asking this, as they thought that I viewed our gay brethren as “simple”, but these are issues that are talked about in the gay community quite often. Take a look at what many of them said about this:

"Yes it is! Just set boundaries, always do things outside of the house. Don’t flirt."

"I’m going to say yes but most of the older generation seems to lump (at least the young 20s like me) into a group where they just expect either things to get sexual or you to be a flake to them. Although I’ve met some amazing older men that took a chance and are happy being friends now."

"Tough one. After sex you can become friends.”

"Yes, it's entirely possible. It's also possible for gay men to have friendships with men of all ages, add "benefits" to the friendship and still have a good friendship, whether the benefits are short-term or last for years."

"As a 40 year man who appreciates the value of intergenerational friendships, I’m always rather annoyed by the assumption that there MUST be a sexual component (or that if there is a sexual component, that it somehow fucks things up). There is immense value in the experience and wisdom of the generation above you, and I say that being the generation immediately following the missing generation of gay men who would have been my mentors and friends and sometimes even my sexual instructors, had AIDS not decimated them.  The generation below mine should at least be aware (if not grateful) that the generation above them even exists, whether they want to fuck them or not."

"Definitely possible, but some men are incapable of this."

"Most of my friends are in their mid to late 20s or in their early to mid 30s. The only one I have anything sexual going on with is my BF who is 29."

"It’s just perspective and healthy behaviors for relationships - millennials can sexualize and situation just as easily as any other generation. The question already has implicit bias."

What are your thoughts on this topic? Can gay men from much different age ranges find friendship without it leading to the bedroom?

This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

Less UK Gay Men Have Been Diagnosed With HIV In Two Years

UK gay men are less frequently contracting HIV, according to the AIDS Map.

Public Health England recently released numbers on the amount of gay and bisexual men who have been diagnosed with HIV in the past few years.

Their records show that the number has been dropping in the past two years. While it reached 2290 in 2015, it then hit 2820 in 2016 and 2330 in 2017. That’s a 31% drop between 2015 and 2017.

On top of that, the biggest fall happened in London with diagnoses dropping to 41% whereas outside of London it was down 30%.

It wasn’t just gay men who saw this drop in diagnoses however as the total of 4363 people who were diagnosed with HIV in 2017 was lower than the 6043 in 2015 and the 5280 in 2016.

Current guesses are that the increase of HIV testing could have caused this general drop in diagnoses, but experts can’t confirm that idea just yet.

Unfortunately, it’s not all good news though as the percentage of people diagnosed late did not get better.

As the AIDS Map reports;

“42% of all diagnoses were made with a CD4 cell count below 350/mm3. The highest rates are in heterosexual men (58% and 72% in black African heterosexual men) but also of great concern in heterosexual women (50%) and injecting drug users (47%). The rates are lower in gay and bisexual men (32%).”

While all of this information has just been released, there’s even more waiting to be published through a full analysis that will drop in November.

h/t: AIDS Map

Gay Politician Dave Robinson Linked High Suicide Rates With Gays Having Multiple Sex Partners

The communications director for Salt Lake County's Republican Party got himself into a public relations nightmare.

Dave Robinson is the man in question who’s standing by his statements that there’s a link between suicide rates in LGBTQ people and promiscuity engaged by gay men.

According to the Hill, Robinson, who is gay himself, made this statement while in a meeting with the Salt Lake Tribune’s editorial board. After initially trying to show that the goals of Republicans and gay men are becoming more and more aligned, reporters asked for his thoughts on high suicide rates.

Robinson’s response?

“It has more to do with the lifestyle that the gays are leading that they refuse to have any scrutiny with.” 

He then added:

“You talk to some of these people that have had grundles of sex partners and the self-loathing and basically the unhappiness and the self-hatred level is tremendously high,” he said. “The gay community really needs to start having some conversations within their community, saying, how is our lifestyle affecting our mental health?” 

After stating all this while in a meeting with a newspaper’s editorial board, it’s no surprise that it became a big headline from the company.

That said, Robinson unabashedly defended his statements after being contacted by the Salt Lake Tribune before the article was published.

“I stand by my position that multiple sexual partners leads to increased risk of STD and HIV, which affects one’s mental, physical and financial health, which leads to a higher risk of depression which leads to a higher risk of thoughts of suicide which leads to higher suicide rates,” Robinson said in an email.

Like vultures to a feast, many politicians, including some of Robinson’s peers within the Republican party, responded with criticism.

“I am angry that someone who purports to speak for Republicans has made such inappropriate, inaccurate and hurtful comments,” Salt Lake County Council Chairwoman Aimee Winder Newton said. “This has caused our LGBTQ friends heartache and has been counterproductive in our fight against suicide.”

Meanwhile, Scott Miller, the Chair for Salt Lake County Republican party, responded to the situation by apologizing in the following open letter:

To the fine citizens of Salt Lake County, the State of Utah and elsewhere,

On Tuesday August 22, 2018 an article was printed that was written by Taylor Stevens at The Salt Lake Tribune regarding statements made by Mr. Dave Robinson. I was in attendance at this meeting with the Editors where the intention was to introduce myself and the inclusive direction the Salt Lake County Republican Party is taking.

We spoke with the Editors for over an hour, discussing the many issues that face the residents of Salt Lake County. We discussed everything from land and water to suicide and transparency. My goal for this meeting was to convey my hope of inclusion for all communities within Salt Lake County.

During this meeting, the topic of the LGBTQ community arose in conversation and what that has to do with the Republican Party. Due to my personal experience regarding suicide, I made it very clear as a representative of the Salt Lake County Republican Party that I was very concerned about teen and adult suicides in Utah. Further, that we needed to address why the rates of suicide are several times greater in the LGBTQ community.

Dave Robinson, who is gay, told of conversations he has had with people from within the gay community. All of the opinions forwarded by Mr. Robinson were based on those conversations and were not necessarily his own views and were not presented as the position of the Salt Lake County Republican Party.

The subject of depression and suicide transcends all of our communities. I want to be very clear that the Salt Lake County Republican Party and our candidates do not agree that there is only one cause or solution to our local/national suicide concerns. We believe there are many factors surrounding these issues and we will continue to diligently seek solutions.

I apologize on behalf of the Salt Lake County Republican Party for any hurt or discomfort that this mischaracterization has caused. The tremendous outcry of both anger and support shows that these conversations are sorely needed.

Scott Miller
Chairman Salt Lake County Republican Party

h/t: The Hill, Salt Lake City Tribune

Gay Men In Denmark Will Soon Get To Donate Blood More Often

While countries like the US isn’t allowing gay men to donate blood Denmark is getting ahead of them with respectable and understanding rules on the subject.

According to the Copenhagen Post, Ellen Trane Nørby, the health minister in Denmark recently announced that the government will be shortening the duration in which men who have sex with other men can donate blood.

The new rules state that any men can donate blood after a period of fourth months without having sex with other men. Even better, this period wait is voided if the donator is in a relationship with one partner.

“The authority [patient safety] has found a model we feel is safe and we will therefore incorporate it into Denmark. All safety mechanisms in our blood donation system are built on trust and we have some very advanced tests that screen the blood,” Nørby told DR Nyhede,

These updated rules take into consideration that many HIV tests are now able to detect the disease after three months of infection.

Meanwhile, countries/territories like Hong Kong and The United States of America are upholding a 12 month wait period, which has incited protests from celebrities like Lance Bass and charities like t-shirts printed in gay men's blood.

That said, Denmark isn't alone as Wales lowered its time restraint last year to 3 months.

While US citizens await their turn for this recent trend of lowering donation times after sex, Denmark's rules are set to go into effect at the start of 2019.

h/t: Copenhagen Post

Gay Twitter Had A Field Day After An Article Blamed Lack Of Interest In Boobs For Failing Hooters Chain

Despite Twitter being a place full of political disputes, and possibly becoming more chaotic with forced opposing views, it’s also a place with lots of viral trends and jokes.

One of the latest jokes came out of responses to a Complex article.

According to Pink News, Complex wrote an article stating that Hooters is closing down many of its locations and then makes the statement that it’s because many millennials are losing interest in boobs.

As stupid as that assumption sounds, it’s also a great setup for a viral trend and joke.

Several millennials jumped on the bandwagon of responding that millennials are gay AF now and love c***, or just enjoy a** nowadays.

Here are some of our favorite tweets.

Keep in mind, Hooters may be closing down, or not according to its Twitter account which is calling Complex fake news, but male equivalent Boxers is thriving.

The gay owned and focused sports bar is much like Hooters (in that the staff all wear very revealing clothing), but is focused on men.

“As the gay community has continued its migration, so has Boxers,” co-owner Bob Fluet explained to Hornet back in January. “We’re a place to hang out with friends, relax, have fun, listen to great music, catch a sports game, eat, mingle or watch an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. We also strive to bring greater visibility to the gay community in each neighborhood we serve.”

So far, the chain has multiple locations in New York City and one in Philadelphia. But with its success leading to two freshly opened locations earlier this year, there’s a strong chance the chain will branch out to more cities in the future.

It sounds like millennials will be all over that.

h/t: Pink News, Hornet

Gay Dancer Turned Away From A London Club For Wearing HIgh-Heels

A gay man was denied entry into a London gay club because he was wearing heels.

According to QNews, 33-year-old Pavel Vacek says he was surprised when a bouncer told him he couldn’t enter the XXL London club.

“I’ve been to XXL before, so I was quite surprised,” he said. “They say on the website that it’s a bear club, but you see all kinds of guys there – twinks, young guys, older guys – anyone.”

As a member of the Gay Men Dance Company, Pavel has been wearing high-heels in order to prepare for an upcoming performance. He thought, why not practice while enjoying himself during a night out.

“It was only my second or third time wearing the boots because I don’t have many places to wear them, and I thought, ‘why not?’ Where else should I take them other than a gay club?” said Vacek to Pink News.

“It shouldn’t be about what you wear. That doesn’t define you. If you feel comfortable wearing high-heels or pink, if you feel good and you don’t hurt anyone, what’s the problem?” he said.

That said, his night wasn’t ruined by the XXL London bouncer. Vacek says that he and friends went to a different gay club where he acquired many fans of his heels.

“People were admiring me and everybody loved the shoes,” he said.

h/t: QNews, Pink News

Homophobes Painted Over A Plaque Honoring French Men Killed For Being Gay

A plaque honoring the last two men to be executed in France for being gay has been vandalized (for the second time this year).

While Paris is currently hosting the 2018 Gay Games, the city has also seen a historic plaque defaced.

A plaque in the central Montorgueil district which honors Bruno Lenoir, a cobbler who was in his 20s, and Jean Diot, a servant who died at 40, was recently found covered in black paint and homophobic posters, according to RTE.

The flyers painted onto the ground said, “To make a child, I must be a man and not gay.”

The two men honored by the sign were the last gay men to be put to death in France for homosexuality. The men were burned alive outside Paris’s City hall on July 6, 1750. Homosexuality was then decriminalized in 1791.

It was Mayor Anne Hidalgo who publicly shared the news of the plaque’s defacement. In a tweet she wrote, “Shocked by this latest shameful demonstration of homophobia.”

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that the plaque has been vandalized. Just earlier this year in May, flowers put along the site were burned by arsonists.

In addition, a rainbow crosswalk in Paris was also vandalized in June, according to GayPopBuzz. Homophobic insults were painted across the pedestrian crossing in the Marais district.

In response, Hidalgo announced that some of the crosswalks, which were only meant for Pride Month, would become permanent.

Despite all of the homophobic vandalism, it’s good to know that Paris has an ally in Mayor Hidalgo.

h/t: RTE, GayPopBuzz

A Survey By AARP Says More Gay Men Over 45 Are Single Than Other LGBTQ People

A survey by AARP says that more gay male elders are single than their LGBTQ peers.

The organization released the survey and shared that they asked 1,782 LGBTQ people from across the U.S.A. about their thoughts on aging.

The results found that 57 percent of gay men over 45 were single. Meanwhile, only 39 percent of lesbians said the same. As did 48 percent of bisexual men and women. Then, half of transgender respondents said that they were single.

Though, it’s also important to note that the AARP confessed that they had trouble reaching out to bisexual people for the survey, because respondents were less likely to be open about their sexuality. This could have affected the data.

While, the study wasn’t focused on relationships and more the quality of life for aging LGBTQ people, a spokesperson for AARP shared that the results based on relationships and age were unsurprising. The organization then focused on the need for services and support for aging LGBTQ people.

“Gay men are far more likely to live alone, and this will influence the types of services needed by gay men as they age,” the study said. “Further, when asked about their social support network, gay men are less connected compared to lesbians on every relationship type tested, from LGBT friends to straight friends, from partners to neighbors.”

The Man Who Helped A Gay Couple From A Bashing Is Being Honored By Miami

Congratulations Helmut Muller Estrada!

Earlier this month, we shared with you the news that a gay couple attending Miami Pride was attacked by four men. Now, we're happy to share with you the story of their savior.

29-year-old South Beach resident Helmut Muller Estrada was walking nearby when Rene Chalarca and Dmitry Logunov were attacked outside a bathroom by four men. Not knowing any of the six men but wanting to help, Estrada immediately ran over to defend the gay men.

"Everything happened so quick," said Estrada. "I was so angry and I just wanted to defend these guys regardless of their sexual orientation. It doesn't matter."

Once the men fled, Estrada tried to pursue them so that they wouldn’t get away. Unfortunately, they then surrounded him and knocked him out. That led to Estrada getting a gash at the back of his head that required four stitches. But, Estrada says it was worth it.

To honor his act of self-sacrifice and heroism, the City Commisioner gave Helmut Muller Estrada a city medallion at an official ceremony on Wednesday.

"Today we have a resident of our city who was a Good Samaritan and who showed true acts of bravery and heroism that day," said Commissioner Michael Góngora, who presented the award. "This is somebody that saw two individuals being attacked and felt the need to step up and do the right thing and in doing so he was hurt himself."

Chalarca and Logunov were present during the ceremony and shared their congratulations with Estrada.

"We came to support him because he was there for us," said Chalarca. "He's totally a hero and for us it means a lot."

Meanwhile, the four attackers (Juan Carlos Lopez, Luis M. Alonso Piovet, Adonis Diaz, and Pablo Reinaldo Romo-Figueroa) turned themselves into police custody two days after the incident. They have been charged with aggravated battery and are awaiting an arraignment on May 10.

During that time, the state attorney will announce if this case will be classified as a hate crime or not. If so, a more serious penalty will be warranted.

h/t: Miami Herald

Pages