#GayMen

The Man Who Helped A Gay Couple From A Bashing Is Being Honored By Miami

Congratulations Helmut Muller Estrada!

Earlier this month, we shared with you the news that a gay couple attending Miami Pride was attacked by four men. Now, we're happy to share with you the story of their savior.

29-year-old South Beach resident Helmut Muller Estrada was walking nearby when Rene Chalarca and Dmitry Logunov were attacked outside a bathroom by four men. Not knowing any of the six men but wanting to help, Estrada immediately ran over to defend the gay men.

"Everything happened so quick," said Estrada. "I was so angry and I just wanted to defend these guys regardless of their sexual orientation. It doesn't matter."

Once the men fled, Estrada tried to pursue them so that they wouldn’t get away. Unfortunately, they then surrounded him and knocked him out. That led to Estrada getting a gash at the back of his head that required four stitches. But, Estrada says it was worth it.

To honor his act of self-sacrifice and heroism, the City Commisioner gave Helmut Muller Estrada a city medallion at an official ceremony on Wednesday.

"Today we have a resident of our city who was a Good Samaritan and who showed true acts of bravery and heroism that day," said Commissioner Michael Góngora, who presented the award. "This is somebody that saw two individuals being attacked and felt the need to step up and do the right thing and in doing so he was hurt himself."

Chalarca and Logunov were present during the ceremony and shared their congratulations with Estrada.

"We came to support him because he was there for us," said Chalarca. "He's totally a hero and for us it means a lot."

Meanwhile, the four attackers (Juan Carlos Lopez, Luis M. Alonso Piovet, Adonis Diaz, and Pablo Reinaldo Romo-Figueroa) turned themselves into police custody two days after the incident. They have been charged with aggravated battery and are awaiting an arraignment on May 10.

During that time, the state attorney will announce if this case will be classified as a hate crime or not. If so, a more serious penalty will be warranted.

h/t: Miami Herald

Bisexual Man Claims Dating Men Is Better Than Women!

Bisexual Man Claims Dating Men Is Easier!


Is This The Ultimate Battle Of The Sexes?

#FIGHT! Let’s speak of dating horror stories for a moment: Upon my arrival in Los Angeles, I had the cutest, slinkiest shorts which made my rear look phenomenal…then, I get into my date’s car. Immediately, he groans: He’d made a reservation at a fancy restaurant where shorts on men weren’t acceptable. He made a fuss about canceling and we went to some hotel restaurant in lieu, but that’s really all on him for not mentioning anything. If you’re going to a 5-star restaurant; don’t let that be a surprise for a first date!


Now, imagine factoring all of these into heterosexual dating. I’m friends with arguably more women than men: I’ve seen my girlfriends get things handed to them – like, even a gift upon their arrival at a restaurant. They get a reward just for making attendance! I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers or anything upon simply showing up. Does this make heterosexual men more romantic – or are they trying to make up for something? Pressure by society? What is it?


Yes, it’s a ton of fun to go out on dates with various people you’ve met. It’s even more fun imagining your would-be relationship, but let’s be honest: Same-sex dating can be complete hell! There’s always the back-and-forth of who will pay, a comfortable with public display of affection, what activity to do, and apparently, even what to wear! While the straights can complain all they want, as can the LGBTQ community, I firmly believe gay people have it a little easier when it comes to dating. There isn’t necessarily a need to showboat or be dramatic. We save the drama for flash mob marriage proposals.


According to The Daily Mail, one 32-year-old male, bisexual New Yorker admits he prefers dating men over women, because it’s “easier and cheaper”. The unnamed man goes on to tell while he does enjoy his dates with men, he feels the need to work out and keep up his appearance more since the gay community is shallow. Also, he’s found himself more likely to be ghosted – you know, someone who disappears without a reason – by men. He likens to the men to not being able to commit to relationships for why he has yet to have something serious. Well…I’m sure a lot of us can agree!


Daily Mail’s article was inspired by the bisexual man’s daily diary which was released on The Cut. The unidentified man seems to be into men more than women in general, but definitely closeted to his coworkers and family. He seems highly motivated by sex, which seems to be much easier to get in the LGBTQ community. I think the man wants to get off more than he wants to fall in love, or even date.


Honestly, dating – even being a narcissistic, bisexual man – is complicated in general. Relationships equalizes all communities the same as nature. We’re all united by hookups, bad dates, flings, and long term relationships. There is no winning gender when it comes to dating. We’re all pretty much wandering around wet and googly eyed.


Do you believe dating men is easier than women?


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers. 

Tasmania is the Latest Australian State to Erase Criminal Convictions Based on Homosexuality

Another section of Australia has now made it so that gay men can erase past convictions against them that are based on their homosexuality.

The Australian state of Tasmania started the process of eliminating these convictions back in 2015, but has taken the long way around. As PinkNews reports, the government took so long that it had to apologize back in 2017.

Now, if any of the 500,000 people living in the state want to see their past convictions or the convictions of their loved ones go away, they can apply to do so.

Of course, these convictions have to be attached to homosexuality, which was decriminalized in Tasmania back in 1997 (it was the last state in the country to do so).

Former Anti-discrimination commissioner Robin Banks spoke on the new legislation.

“We went from being very much behind the eight ball, in terms of attitudes to homosexuality, to, I think, probably the most progressive state, when it comes to our response to homosexuality and to transgender issues.”

“And I think that’s a real testament to everybody who’s been involved in the debate, particularly from the (LGBTIQ) community, reaching across what was a very wide divide.”

Banks also shared the opinion that laws against homosexuality should have never happened.

“It doesn’t hurt anybody,” she said, “It was a victimless crime, and that’s really important thing to remember. And it wasn’t a crime all over the world.”

“It was particularly in common-law countries, so the countries that came out of England (the British empire), where we’ve had this history of criminalizing homosexuality.”

“I really ask people to think, ‘Well, what difference does it make to you if somebody loves a person of the same gender as themself?'”

Tasmania now joins several countries and states that have also erased past convictions concerning homosexuality.

Last week, we shared with you the news that New Zealand had taken the plunge towards this process. Even before that, Germany, the UK, and Canada had done so. As for other Australian states, New South Wales, and Victoria have all removed such convictions.

h/t: PinkNews

Reality Star Derek J Tackles Masculinity in Gay, Black Men In A New Documentary

Reality star and celebrity hairstylist Derek Jae is creating representation for black gay men.

If you don’t know Derek Jae (who’s more popularly known as Derek J), then you’re probably not a fan of hit reality shows The Real Housewives of Atlanta or Fashion Queens. That said, that doesn’t invalidate the career that the man has made for himself.

The 36-year-old Toledo, Ohio native has put work into his career in fashion and reality television, and now he’s trying to give back by shining a spotlight on the struggles of being Black and Gay.

Derek J recently released a new documentary called “Gay Like Me,” to share multiple perspectives on life by multiple Gay, Black men.

On top of that, Derek J also tackles the discussion of masculinity in the gay community, the black community, and in the intersection of both.

Derek J explained in a quick interview with the Washington Informer that he wanted his documentary to represent all Gay, Black men.

“I have masculine friends that say they never see themselves on TV. So I said, hey, if you have a problem with it, let’s do something about it. For this to be my first project, I really wanted to make an impact. I made sure that the men were good-looking and well-spoken. I wanted a woman or a gay man to look at them and say this is someone I would date. Or for a straight man to say, ‘this could be my homeboy.’”

“I went back to my high school in Ohio and I noticed there were a lot of feminine gay Black men. What I realized is they are acting out what they visually see of gay men on television. I wanted the film’s message to say ‘hey, there are other types of gay men out here.’ The film is a learning tool for everyone.”

That isn’t to say that feminine gay men aren’t desirable or celebrated. Seeing as he sees himself to be fairly feminine, Derek J would never want to promote such as message. Instead, what he’s saying is that we want to see the Ethans from “Love, Simon,” the Calvin Owens from “Greek," and characters who represent a mixture of the two.

“I really think the content of the stories are so well-rounded people will look past that. Regardless of the look of it you could see yourself in one of these stories.”

“The stories of these men helped me understand them, but my story is different. I am considered a feminine gay man. I’ve never been gay-bashed. My mom knew that I was gay. We just didn’t talk about it.”

Derek J’s real goal is to show that Black, Gay men come in a variety of personalities and looks. We are just like any other group of people, and we deserve to be represented that way in entertainment media.

Study Says Open Relationships Might Be Going Away Thanks To Gay Marriage

new study focusing on gay men’s thoughts around monogamy says that younger gay men are moving away from non-monogamous relationships.

The study (or rather, survey) was run by researchers and couple Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears. The two asked 832 gay men between the ages of 18 and 39-years old a series of questions involving monogamy.

They did this because they personally wanted to know where gay men’s heads were concerning the topic.

“We had been in a non-monogamous relationship for 36 years and were curious about the experience of others,” they shared through The Couple’s Study.

“There wasn’t any road map and we assumed long-term couples might offer valuable perspectives and hard-earned lessons.”

The two were soon surprised to find that the younger generation is verging off from the lifestyle they had chosen.

"Probably the most striking finding of this study is that younger gay men seem to be more inclined toward monogamy than their elders," the pair wrote in their reflection from the study’s results.

The results found that 86% of respondents that were in a relationship were monogamous and the remaining 14% were not. As for those who were single, 90% said that they were looking for a monogamous relationship.

Dissecting that last group even more, 44% of single men between the ages of 26 and 40 said they were open to the possibility of a non-monogamous relationship. Meanwhile, only 29% of single men who were 25 or younger were open to the idea.

In the breakdown section of the results, some participants shared their thoughts on why the results came out the way they did.

On respondent replied:

“My impression is that younger people are oriented more toward monogamy. The reason is the fact that gay culture is becoming assimilated into the mainstream, and monogamy is part of the assimilation. The idea of finding and settling down with your soul mate is desirable, and the fact that with gay marriage, that’s more attainable now.”

Another answered with an opposite impression:

"I don’t feel supported by the gay community in having a monogamous relationship. In fact, the norm seems to be open relationships, and we feel judged, and even pressured, to open things up, when people find out we’re monogamous."

What do you think? Do you think gay relationships are becoming more monogamous or are they opening up more?

Are Dating Apps Better Than Nightclubs?

Are Dating Apps Better Than Nightclubs?


Is Dating Digitally Easier?

#SINGLE. Alright, I’m constantly telling you how rough the dating scene is…at least in West Hollywood, California. Yes, we have a variety of men including plenty of Instagram models, retired twinks, and silver foxes to name a few. With bountiful men comes plenty of options. However, I consistently find myself coming up short. While online dating is not my preference, I’ve found many comparisons to how gay men interact in person and online. It makes me question: Is online dating easier than approaching someone at a bar?

Okay, let’s go through the cons of online dating: I’m well aware of the heinous acts which may occur. There’s a handful of people catfishing – or using a fake profile – to accumulate nude photographs and simply just cyber as they chat with someone under the guise of meeting. Online dating, depending on which website you are using, may essentially seem like a virtual bathhouse. To this day, rather than a hello or an emoji, I’ll receive a photograph of someone’s genitals and typically it’s not something I wish to see. But, alas, my curiosity still gets the best of me and I’m constantly checking my dating apps – and have yet found success. So yes, it’s obvious there are some seedy people on the internet, but those types are everywhere. At least you aren’t having to actively deal with them in person.


However, I can’t help but feel more people have confidence online than they do in their real lives. Prime examples are the Keyboard Warriors which overcome our social media on a daily basis. It’s easiest to live through an avatar than your actual being, for sure. Yet, if someone is actually true to their real life persona as they are to their online identity: Will online dating benefit them?


Chances are, if I’m out at a bar, I’m strictly out to enjoy a night with my friends and minimally socialize with anyone outside of our group or the bar staff. Paint me with the Millennial scarlet letter, but I tend to pregame and end up living my best life without worrying on making a lasting impression on other patrons. Hell, even if someone spots me in a retail store among errands; I’m not necessarily looking to be swooned: I’d rather get what I need and leave! I’m not really familiar with the days before dating websites and apps existed, so what am I to do? Go to the library or join a book club? That’s not in my cards.


Immediately when browsing on an app, you see someone’s photograph: Exactly as you’d seem them in real life – sans filter. On your dating profile, you’re able to give a biography of yourself and link to your various social media accounts. Which is something I don’t find available to a stranger upon seeing them in person. It’s a way to dive into who they truly may be: Their friends, hobbies, occupation, and even family. I can get a much better read on someone through the internet – at the very least what they wish to portray – than in person. To me, it’s literally the same type of first impression you can get nearly anywhere. With an option to meet in public rather than walking in anonymously, I believe online dating is – dare I say it – healthier. Which is a little scary if you consider human interaction is becoming so scarce. Although I don’t side with online dating: Why am I seeing the advantages to it?


Do you prefer to meet your new potential knights in shining armor in person or over the internet?


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

Does The Gay Community Normalize ChemSex?

Does The Gay Community Normalize ChemSex?


Do You PNP?

#INSTINCTAFTERDARK! In yet another article in my long line of topics not appropriate for work - or the day time - I want to touch base on this not-so-hidden world of ChemSex. ChemSex, or more commonly referred to as PNP (Party aNd Play) is honestly a topic this gay Millennial finds so common with the hook up culture. 


One time, I inadvertently wound up at a gay sex party. Basically, after months of convincing, I met this guy off a dating app and we went over to his place. He was up front his roommates would be there, but wasn’t so honest about what his roommates would be doing. Yeah, his roommates were having a full-on, about fifteen person orgy in their living room. There were a lot of towels, and a handful of guys around my age at the time- early 20s. At first, I participated in this so called party. It began with some drinking and smoking marijuana in underwear in one of the best homes I’ve ever been in. Why would I say no? Well, before I knew it, many of the guys were taking shots of GHB. I politely declined with judging eyes; there was a time and a place to try that, for me it was called college. Soon after, a new pipe and smell clogged my nose: The wicked scent of lust - or PNP. Uncomfortable, I put on my clothes and stepped on a balcony to chain smoke and text a friend. I went back inside hoping my online hookup would be a knight in shining armor, not partaking. His lips told a separate story from his actions. I left with some blue balls and one hell of a story. 


After years to think and plenty more experience in gay culture, I’ve came across a variety of men who PNP regularly. I’ve even had an attempt to be convinced it’s healthier for you than alcohol. On dating profiles, it’s publicly advertised...and partially accepted. 


Are we normalizing ChemSex culture? Is there something that may be done to prevent this from becoming the new normal? 

This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

This article was originally inspired by VICE.