#openrelationships

Study Says Open Relationships Might Be Going Away Thanks To Gay Marriage

new study focusing on gay men’s thoughts around monogamy says that younger gay men are moving away from non-monogamous relationships.

The study (or rather, survey) was run by researchers and couple Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears. The two asked 832 gay men between the ages of 18 and 39-years old a series of questions involving monogamy.

They did this because they personally wanted to know where gay men’s heads were concerning the topic.

“We had been in a non-monogamous relationship for 36 years and were curious about the experience of others,” they shared through The Couple’s Study.

“There wasn’t any road map and we assumed long-term couples might offer valuable perspectives and hard-earned lessons.”

The two were soon surprised to find that the younger generation is verging off from the lifestyle they had chosen.

"Probably the most striking finding of this study is that younger gay men seem to be more inclined toward monogamy than their elders," the pair wrote in their reflection from the study’s results.

The results found that 86% of respondents that were in a relationship were monogamous and the remaining 14% were not. As for those who were single, 90% said that they were looking for a monogamous relationship.

Dissecting that last group even more, 44% of single men between the ages of 26 and 40 said they were open to the possibility of a non-monogamous relationship. Meanwhile, only 29% of single men who were 25 or younger were open to the idea.

In the breakdown section of the results, some participants shared their thoughts on why the results came out the way they did.

On respondent replied:

“My impression is that younger people are oriented more toward monogamy. The reason is the fact that gay culture is becoming assimilated into the mainstream, and monogamy is part of the assimilation. The idea of finding and settling down with your soul mate is desirable, and the fact that with gay marriage, that’s more attainable now.”

Another answered with an opposite impression:

"I don’t feel supported by the gay community in having a monogamous relationship. In fact, the norm seems to be open relationships, and we feel judged, and even pressured, to open things up, when people find out we’re monogamous."

What do you think? Do you think gay relationships are becoming more monogamous or are they opening up more?

Should We Be Supporting Open Relationships?

Should We Be Supporting Open Relationships?


Ricky Martin Speaks On Monogamy

OH! Alright, well everyone has been raving about American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, due to all of the buzz surrounding Darren Criss’ bulging body parts, a homosexual serial killer and subsequent…love?...story, and an array of studs that make up the entire cast. All of the ingredients make for a fantastic series that has been groundbreaking – thanks Ryan Murphy! As you may know, Crime Story deals with Gianni Versace’s love life, including the relationship with mega-hunk Ricky Martin’s character, real life partner of the Fashion Icon, Antonio D’Amico. The actual couple shared a love for 15 years, which gives a lead to the two being in an open relationship. Martin recently spoke in favor of open relationships, inspired by his character counterpart.


According to Vulture, Martin tells:

“I want to normalize relationships like this. It’s good for the world; it’s good for me as a gay man with kids. It’s important that we shed some light on power couples like [Gianni Versace and Antonio D’Amico], even though [D’Amico] was quiet and behind the scenes and he was just there supporting his man for 15 years. I also believe there was a level of homophobia going around in his family where he was hiding, even though he says, ‘My relationship was very open and free with Gianni’…"

The level of commitment after 15 years. The level of security between them and trust between them is so solid. We want to normalize another kind of reality for open relationships. And that’s what we’re doing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong. We’re just two very self-secure men that are completely in love with each other, that trust each other to the maximum level, and here we are.”

This brings up the conversation: Are open relationships healthier for gay men? Yes, many of us have a wandering eye – myself included – so, you know, a real relationship may be a bit of a stretch. I mean, come on, in the modern age of social media – all you have to do to be hypnotized by a nude, sculpted body is literally under your thumb. Is it almost impossible to be monogamous anymore? For every sexy guy you see, there are even more in a bar, and an endless amount on the internet for your liking. Dating apps and hook up websites have even made it so easy that you are able to search for your ideal partner by selecting your preferences. Why search for the one when you can have whatever flavor you prefer right now?


Should we be glorifying open relationships? Especially when children are involved? Once we decide to put on wedding rings and exchange vows – is it time to give up our partying ways and sexcapades?  

Or, should we be even judging how someone else runs their family? Do open relationships work for all?


This is the opinion of one of Instinct Magazine's contributing writers. It does not represent the opinion of the magazine.