#Sex

Do Not Tell "Your Number” To Your New Dates!

Do Not Tell "Your Number” To Your New Dates!

That’s Your Business Only!


After a long hiatus, #InstinctAfterDark is back and I'm ready to speak more about dating and sex lives! They say hoes love having sex at night to feel loved, so why not talk about it while we’re douching for that last-minute date or simply lounging in bed browsing on our phones before we head to Pornhub? The latest edition of #InstinctAfterDark comes after a series of hot and heavy dates I’ve had with one of the plentiful men in West Hollywood. We had a great fling, but the fire was extinguished when he asked me the most personal question: How many people have I slept with? Like, wait, what!?!


You know you’re not bashful when you openly answer questions regarding oral sex on the first date. Yet, here I am clutching my pearls at the thought of revealing my number to a guy who I am relatively interested in. Hear me out, it’s not like we haven’t disclosed any predetermined factors one should speak of before having sex. We’ve had sex, lots of it, safely, and consensually. However, we’ve known each other for just a few months and haven’t necessarily dabbled in conversations surrounding entering into a relationship. Regardless, I believe it’s none of his or anyone else’s business to know "your number.” How much of an awful '90s romantic comedy film plot line is that? It’s safe to say I’m washing my hands of this particular person who clearly wants to know too much about me before putting a title on us. What if he decided to use this information against me?


The past is the past, my past is in my past, and it should stay there. If you don’t have to disclose, legally or morally, your previous sex life, why would you? Talk about sex, be about it, do it, but there is absolutely no way I’m going to openly tell anyone my number. Guess a number and you may be right, but your speculation is as close as you’re getting.


Are you willing to reveal the number of people you’ve slept with while on dates? Is "your number" a secret or do you share it with whomever asks?


This is the opinion of one Instinct Magazine Contributor and does not reflect the opinions of the magazine itself or those of fellow Contributors.

A Self-Lubricating Condom is Almost Here. Will It Change Sex Forever?

Thanks to a $100,000 grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, a new self-lubricating condom is in development and will be available to the public in the near future.

As reported by Pink News, the new condom technology has been in development at Boston University for over three years and has gone through 1,000 formulations. The coating takes on moisture from your partner that binds for up to 1,000 thrusts.

1,000 thrusts. That’s a lot. Researchers indicate that typical intercourse lasts for about 100-500 thrusts.

Biomedical engineering and chemistry professor Mark Grinstaff says the most pressing reason the contraceptive is being developed is to stop the spread of HIV and other diseases.

Last year, only about one in three men used a condom. In what’s definitely not a coincidence, a record number of STI infections were reported.

This certainly sounds promising. A condom that feels good and slippery is more likely to get used, and it’s less likely to break than a condom you have to lube up yourself. Also, these new condoms reportedly hold lubrication while submerged in water. Great news if you love shower sex!

The Boston University researchers say the new high-tech condom will be ready to sell in a year or two.

One question worth asking: Is the high-tech condom just as good for anal?

h/t: Pink News, Esquire

Evan Peters Bottoms For Rubber Man In "American Horror Story"'s Most Graphic Sex Scene Ever

Not to be too punny, but multi-Emmy-winner Ryan Murphy continues to top himself when it comes to how much gay sex he can cram onto basic cable. On last night’s American Horror Story, he set a new bar with an intense, graphic, kind-of-weird-but-still-totally-hot sequence in which Rubber Man plows the ever-adorable Evan Peters.

On episode two of American Horror Story: Apocalypse, Cody Fern returns as Langdon (the antichrist). Then it’s assumed he’s in a gimp suit serving it straight-up to Peters’ Mr. Gallant.

Only it’s later discovered that wasn’t Langdon. As of now, we don’t actually know who was in the gimp suit. Let the internet theories commence.

For an added splash of camp, Joan Collins (she plays Gallant’ grandmother on the show) has a peek at the hardcore f-fest through a doorway.

For a more explicit look at the action, and for some context (for those of you keeping up with AHS mythology), head over to Gay Fleshbot. (NSFW)

Do you think this was hotter than that scene last year where Peters pounded Colton Haynes? How do you think showrunner Murphy will continue, ahem, topping himself after this? Who is the Rubber Man?! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

 

Gay Politician Dave Robinson Linked High Suicide Rates With Gays Having Multiple Sex Partners

The communications director for Salt Lake County's Republican Party got himself into a public relations nightmare.

Dave Robinson is the man in question who’s standing by his statements that there’s a link between suicide rates in LGBTQ people and promiscuity engaged by gay men.

According to the Hill, Robinson, who is gay himself, made this statement while in a meeting with the Salt Lake Tribune’s editorial board. After initially trying to show that the goals of Republicans and gay men are becoming more and more aligned, reporters asked for his thoughts on high suicide rates.

Robinson’s response?

“It has more to do with the lifestyle that the gays are leading that they refuse to have any scrutiny with.” 

He then added:

“You talk to some of these people that have had grundles of sex partners and the self-loathing and basically the unhappiness and the self-hatred level is tremendously high,” he said. “The gay community really needs to start having some conversations within their community, saying, how is our lifestyle affecting our mental health?” 

After stating all this while in a meeting with a newspaper’s editorial board, it’s no surprise that it became a big headline from the company.

That said, Robinson unabashedly defended his statements after being contacted by the Salt Lake Tribune before the article was published.

“I stand by my position that multiple sexual partners leads to increased risk of STD and HIV, which affects one’s mental, physical and financial health, which leads to a higher risk of depression which leads to a higher risk of thoughts of suicide which leads to higher suicide rates,” Robinson said in an email.

Like vultures to a feast, many politicians, including some of Robinson’s peers within the Republican party, responded with criticism.

“I am angry that someone who purports to speak for Republicans has made such inappropriate, inaccurate and hurtful comments,” Salt Lake County Council Chairwoman Aimee Winder Newton said. “This has caused our LGBTQ friends heartache and has been counterproductive in our fight against suicide.”

Meanwhile, Scott Miller, the Chair for Salt Lake County Republican party, responded to the situation by apologizing in the following open letter:

To the fine citizens of Salt Lake County, the State of Utah and elsewhere,

On Tuesday August 22, 2018 an article was printed that was written by Taylor Stevens at The Salt Lake Tribune regarding statements made by Mr. Dave Robinson. I was in attendance at this meeting with the Editors where the intention was to introduce myself and the inclusive direction the Salt Lake County Republican Party is taking.

We spoke with the Editors for over an hour, discussing the many issues that face the residents of Salt Lake County. We discussed everything from land and water to suicide and transparency. My goal for this meeting was to convey my hope of inclusion for all communities within Salt Lake County.

During this meeting, the topic of the LGBTQ community arose in conversation and what that has to do with the Republican Party. Due to my personal experience regarding suicide, I made it very clear as a representative of the Salt Lake County Republican Party that I was very concerned about teen and adult suicides in Utah. Further, that we needed to address why the rates of suicide are several times greater in the LGBTQ community.

Dave Robinson, who is gay, told of conversations he has had with people from within the gay community. All of the opinions forwarded by Mr. Robinson were based on those conversations and were not necessarily his own views and were not presented as the position of the Salt Lake County Republican Party.

The subject of depression and suicide transcends all of our communities. I want to be very clear that the Salt Lake County Republican Party and our candidates do not agree that there is only one cause or solution to our local/national suicide concerns. We believe there are many factors surrounding these issues and we will continue to diligently seek solutions.

I apologize on behalf of the Salt Lake County Republican Party for any hurt or discomfort that this mischaracterization has caused. The tremendous outcry of both anger and support shows that these conversations are sorely needed.

Scott Miller
Chairman Salt Lake County Republican Party

h/t: The Hill, Salt Lake City Tribune

Men Who Feel Isolated, Hopeless Are More Likely to Engage in High-Risk Sex Acts, Study Shows

It stands to reason that someone with a pervasively negative mental outset might engage in high-risk activities. A recent Chinese-American study of men who have sex with men (MSM) offers some numbers to back this up.

Pink News drew our attention to a report filed by experts from California and the Chinese cities of Nanjing and Beijing called "Depression, Loneliness, and Sexual Risk-Taking Among HIV-Negative/Unknown Men Who Have Sex with Men in China."

The study observed 507 Chinese men, and those who reported feeling lonely were 67% more likely to have receive bareback anal sex.

Of the subjects, 26.8 and 35.5% reported moderate-to-severe symptoms of depression and feeling lonely, respectively.

These depressed individuals also were twice as likely to feel “hopelessness for the future,” and more likely to bear internalized homophobia.

The study concludes that:

“MSM in China have significant rates of depression and loneliness. HIV prevention efforts should address the mental health needs of Chinese MSM such as providing safe environments for social support and role models.”

Note: This is not a slut-shaming study. No one is bashing bareback sex here or challenging anyone’s right to it. This is merely a thoroughly researched report that makes a connection between high-risk behaviors and mental health.

Mental health as a factor in gay and bisexual men becoming HIV-Positive has been a hot topic in recent years.

Somewhere between 30 and 60 % of LGBTQ+ people suffer from depression and/or anxiety at some point in life. That’s between 1.5-2.5% higher than straight, gender-conforming counterparts.

h/t: Pink News

Report: Archives of Sexual Behavior

Let's Talk About Olly Alexander and His Sexy, Button-Pushing New Photos

Lead singer of red-hot British pop group Years and Years, 27-year-old Olly Alexander is, in some ways, breaking ground. He isn’t the first openly gay pop star, but he’s owning his sexuality and judiciously pushing buttons in a way that calls to mind some of the best, and most successful pop icons before him.

He’s Paper Magazine’s latest cover boy. The photos are sexy AF.

Question: Is this the first photo shoot ever to be wardrobed by both Versace and Nasty Pig? The pics feature Alexander and a male model in various states of undress. We only see the model from the neck down, and Alexander straddles his thigh in one shot, rests his head there in another.

It’s a fun and insightful interview, too. Alexander discusses his influences (Madonna and Whitney Houston, among others), and homophobia in the music industry and beyond.

Years and Years’ critically well-received second album Palo Santo is out now. A few years ago they released their first record, Communion. On the new record, Alexander sings, innuendo-free, about sex with men.

In the interview, Alexander makes a point that he couldn’t have written the songs in Palo Alto as they are a few years ago. So this means, maybe, boys can sing explicitly about liking boys now. All eyes are on Alexander to see where he takes it from here.

Before fronting Years and Years, Alexander was an actor, appearing in Gaspar Noe’s film Enter the Void and TV’s Penny Dreadful and Skins.

Check out more of the interview, and Olly in a jockstrap, at Paper.

"The Electric Slide" is About a Vibrator, Songwriter Confirms

The Internet is boogie woogie-ing after learning that song you danced to in elementary school gym class, at weddings, graduations and Bar Mitzvahs is, in fact, about a sex toy.

That’s right; the iconic “Electric Boogie” ditty [also commonly called “The Electric Slide”] is about a vibrator. The songwriter, 71-year-old Neville Livingston aka Bunny Wailer has confirmed. Rumors about the song’s origin have had the web buzzing for the past few weeks, and the rumors finally reached Livingston in Kingston, Jamaica where he resides.

“I’m surprised it took people this long to figure out,” he said.

According to Livingston, he penned the tune after a girlfriend told him she no longer needed him because she had a toy she nicknamed “The Electric Slide.”

"Electric Boogie" was released in 1982 and reached number 51 on the US Billboard Hot 100 in 1990. It was written and originally recorded in 1976 with Bunny Wailer.

Lastly, we’ll leave you with the video and the lyrics. How could this be about anything but a vibrator?!?!

 

 

It's electric! 

You can't see it (it's electric!) 

You gotta feel it (it's electric!)

Ooh, it's shakin' (it's electric!)

Jiggle-a-mesa-cara 

She's a pumpin' like a matic 

She's a movin' like electric 

She sure got the boogie

You gotta know it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie!)

Now you can't hold it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie!)

But you know it there, 

Here, there and everywhere

I've got to move, 

I'm going on a party ride 

I've got to groove, groove, groove, 

And from this music 

I just can't hide

Are you comin' with me? 

Come let me take you on a party ride 

And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you 

I'll teach you the electric slide

Some say it's mystic 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

You can't resist it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

You can't do without it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic 

She's movin' like electric 

She sure got the boogie

Don't want to lose it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

But you can't choose it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

But you know it's there, 

Here, there and everywhere

I've got to move, 

Come let me take you on a party ride 

And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you 

I'll teach you the electric slide

You can't see it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

You gotta feel it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

Ooh, it's shakin'

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie)

Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic 

She's movin' like electric 

She sure got the boogie

You gotta know it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie!)

Now you can't hold it 

(It's electric 

Boogie woogie, woogie!)

But you know it's there, 

Here, there and everywhere

Ola ola eh, ola eh (don dela don deloh!)

Ola ola eh, ola eh (don dela don deloh!)

Ola ola eh, ola eh (don dela don deloh!)

Ola ola eh, ola eh (don dela don deloh!)

Ola ola eh, ola eh (don dela don deloh!)

 

h/t: aazios.com

New Poll Shows 14% Of Americans Having Sex At Work

With somewhere between 5-10% of the population reported to be LGBTQ, its easy to see why gay folks might have a more difficult time finding a potential romance in the workplace.

For those reasons, many have found dating apps to be useful in connecting with like-minded folks outside of work.

HoweverThe New York Post recently reported on a new study shows that for those who do make a ‘love connection’ at work, a substantial number say they’ve done the deed at the office.

Sex store EdenFantasys commissioned a survey of 2,000 Americans to find out more about romance in the workplace.

The data shows 14% of Americans admit to having sex at their place of employment.

Of those who engaged in office playtime, one in five revealed they were caught in the act.

More from the poll:

• 92% of those who engaged in an office romance said it made going to work more exciting

• Over half of the respondents said an office romance made them more ‘productive’ 

• One in ten admitted to having sex with their boss

• 34% of those folks say they did so to advance their career at work

• 17% of workplace romances cost someone their job

• 1 in 4 co-worker relationships end and result in awkward situations at work

• 60% of all workplace relationships end within 12 months

• However, there’s good news - 1 in 4 workplace romances end in marriage

• But 34% of workplace romances involve someone who’s already married or engaged

So, have you found a 'love connection' at work? Let us know in the comments below.

Do You Sleep With Your Friends?

Do You Sleep With Your Friends?


Can You Maintain A Circle Of Friends Within A Circle Jerk?

#InstinctAfterDark. Admit it, you’ve probably slept with a friend at some point in your LGBTQ life. As I grow older, I continue to meet a variety of personalities who have completely different lifestyles than myself. One trait I’m finding common within a lot of friend circles I’ve lately encountered is that people apparently sleep with their best friends…like, what?


Now, I’m not talking about an ex who happens to still run in your friend group. But, there are many group of friends who are sleeping with one another off and on. Is this some sort of initiation? Is this normal? I get goosebumps thinking about having sex with any of my actual friends. Some have been in my life for a decade, so to even think of them outside of a family member is ridiculous. I’ve found it quite uncomfortable to be in a group setting with a plethora of friends: All of whom have slept with one another – and are vocal about their “Eskimo” brotherhood, to the point where it’s a joke.


While I support anyone sleeping with whomever they choose, I cannot help but give such a side eye to these alleged friendships that involve a bunch of people sleeping together – then getting brunch the next weekend. What happens when you want to introduce a potential new boyfriend to your group of friends: Would you want to be surrounded by someone who has seen you orgasm?


Do you believe it’s normal to have regular sex with your group of friends?


This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

Crystal Meth Use Accelerates HIV Even With Medication, Study Shows

Many have long assumed use of stimulants like crystal methamphetamine can accelerate HIV progression. Thanks to a new study published in the journal Brain, Behavior and Immunity there is scientific evidence to back that up. 

Adam Carrico, Ph. D., associate professor of Public Health Sciences and Psychology at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, was lead author on the study, "Recent Stimulant Use and Leukocyte Gene Expression in Methamphetamine Users with Treated HIV Infection."

"Stimulant use may accelerate HIV disease progression through biological and behavioral pathways," says Carrico. "But if we can identify the biological pathways, then we can develop new approaches to optimize the health of active stimulant users who are living with HIV."

The study was a collaboration between researchers at the University of California San Francisco, University of California Los Angeles, and New York University, and involved studying changes in gene expression of samples from 55 HIV-positive, meth-using men receiving effective anti-retroviral therapy.

"We found a differential expression of 32 genes and perturbation of 168 pathways in recent stimulant users, including genes previously associated with the HIV reservoir, immune activation, and inflammation," says Carrico. "Anti-retroviral therapy is often successful in suppressing HIV in the blood, however, the virus typically remains in reservoirs, such as the lymph nodes and inside some immune cells."

Carrico believes these findings could be helpful in finding a cure for the virus. “Maybe these pathways can help us to understand how we can ‘wake up’ the virus and pull it out of hiding; some of these pathways could become targets for potential biomedical treatments targeting the HIV reservoir,” he says.

"We are now testing behavioral interventions in San Francisco and Miami that are designed to reduce stimulant use in people living with HIV," Carrico says. "Hopefully, decreasing the use of stimulants like methamphetamine will allow for better control of the HIV viral load and could even directly improve the immune system."

For further information, check out this press release about the study:  https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2018-05/uomm-urf050418.php  

 

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