Mrs. Betty Bowers reports from the front lines of the War on Christmas for Fox News in the hilarious new holiday video from the Internet legend. 

We're hoping by some gaffe or divine glorious gift that Rick Perry actually watches this sharp-witted reaction to his homophobic campaign ad courtesy of the Second City Network's Andy Cobb. Follow the jump to check out "Rick Perry, Weak Man."

Don’t believe in the Rapture? No problem! If you’re a pet-friendly sinner, there may be a part-time job in the post-apocalypse for you just yet.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is an ingenious new service that will place the pets of believers into the care of atheist heathens after Jesus returns to take the Chosen to heaven. For just $110, a local atheist from the service’s network will adopt a Christians’ pet after the Rapture has left both the dog and the damned behind.

Considering recent polls have found that an unsurprising 55% of Americans believe in the Rapture, I’m upset I didn’t think of this business plan – which the company insists isn’t a joke – first.

The idea of making money off the perplexing statistic is nothing...