Dennis Jay Mayer and John Robert Hart have finally come clean about what really went down on their Atlantis Cruise ship balcony resting in port at Dominica that lead to their arrest for buggery.

Deciding that the publicist-orchestrated Sydney hotel balcony half-nekkid shots were a complete success and penetrated (*snicker—we said "success") international media, our boyfriend Zac Efron has pulled his pants over his bare booty, taken his hand off his junk and erected the classiest privacy shield this side of a Ventura adult film shoot.

You ruin everything, Zac Efron!