Been busy at the desk or stuck at home this snowy Friday? No problem! You'll shed calories just by watching all the booty shaking peanut butter that flies off in RuPaul's and Big Freedia's long-awaited frenetic music video. 

Tattoos on the butt or near sexual organs are as close to gaydar as the homophobic Russian Defense Ministry can get, apparently. According to the Ministry, tattoos in these regions indicate a person's sexuality, so it will naturally force soldiers to drop trou so that doctors can interpret their tattoos like some sort of inkblot Rorschach test.

Mario Lopez shows off his noel nalgas while putting the finishing touches on his Christmas tree in a photo tweeted by his wife, Courtney. Who knew Mario could top so well??

(Via Courtney Lopez's Twitter)

Updated Thursday, October 25 4:15 p.m. EST

We are on a strip diet. Not a strict diet. A strip one.

First we hear about scrumptious Chris Kluwe and The Strip Club auction, then our friends at Queerty had us salivating over Bomer's body and overall beauty with unreleased stills from Magic Mike, and now we have video of the deleted scene in all its glory (hole realness)!

Want to see Bomer's booty give Beyoncé's a run for its money? 

We've followed Ryan Phillippe's career for longer than we care to admit without aging ourselves, but let's just say that we know the heartthrob well enough to pick his butt out of a line-up of Hollywood bare bums.

Just in case the police ever ask us to do such a thing (fingers crossed!), we're thrilled to see that the actor's booty has held up rather well since the last time we laid wide-eyes on it 12 years ago in 1999's Cruel Intentions.

Check out Ryan Phillippe's booty guest star on Damages after the jump!

We've been foaming at the mouth over Patriots' tight end Rob Gronkowski ever since he made it in to our Top Hotties of the Super Bowl post earlier this year. Now we're tending to paper cuts on our lips after attempting to pull of a fake sticker covering Rob's butt naked body on the cover of ESPN The Magazine's annual "Body Issue."

The things we put our bodies through for Rob!

Check out the steamy full cover, more nekkid pics and a NSFW-ish behind-the-scenes video after the jump.

The Santeria shrine we've erected in an abandoned pier off the Hudson and our daily offerings to Goddess Oprah seem to have paid off handsomely (pun intended): Anton Hysén, regular crush of the Instinct blog since coming out of the closet in 2011, has revealed his soccer-forged goods. Better yet, the revelation was purposefully caught on camera! Better better yet, the revelation is being auctioned off to raise money for St. Petersburg, Russia's Coming Out organization!

When you come-to after fainting, follow the jump and prepare to faint again for getting a good look at the NSFW picture.

Michael Fassbender is our new favorite activist. After all, the Shame heartthrob is breaking down Hollywood's double-standard barriers one peen scene at a time. In a recent W Magazine article, Fassbender revealed that his acting/activism career started in 1998, when he bared his assbender (hyuck, hyuck!) for a SAS commercial. Some determined queens at Gay.net took the bait and tracked down the stud's nekkid acting debut (thank you!) The NSFW acting reel highlight, after the jump!

How can consumers make informed purchasing decisions if we don't know what's in the full package of the product? Mario Lopez finally throws dedicated stalkers like us, err, we mean serious underwear buyers like us a bone (no pun intended!) by finally offering a well-rounded (pun intended!) view of his new RatedM underwear. Follow the jump to check out the other half of the new product.

At the Davis Cup over the weekend, tennis superstar Rafael Nadal showed Juan Monaco the true meaning of "cup" by man-handling the Argentinian athlete. Follow the jump for the full image that might inspire you to ask for 15 extra minutes of lunch break today.

Updated Friday, 4:20 p.m. (PST)

Are people nuts?! Not only are the footballers receiving a $40,000 fine but Judge Valiollah Hosseini told the news agency that “the punishment of this crime is prison up to two months and 74 lashes.”

So disgusting. How long can a country continue to treat its citizens like this and get away with it?

(Source)

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A lost-in-the-moment celebratory butt grab deemed "immoral" by Iranian authorities has lead to the suspension of two athletes on the country's professional football team. Details follow.

Following their big rock video win during Sunday night's VMAs, the Foo Fighters have kept the momentum going with the release of a fake gay adult skin flick. Follow the jump to watch the Foo Fighters play dirty truckers and show their "Hot Buns"!