Baz Luhrman's Gatsby looks like it will personify the extravagance of the time and socioeconomic group it studies based on the myriad of trailers we've seen up to this point. Today, with our first listen of Emeli Sandé's swing-ified remake of Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" (with help from the Bryan Ferry Orchestra), the excessive opulence explored in the upcoming film hits another one of our senses. It's a bit busy, but follow the jump to check out Emeli's "Crazy In Love" and let us know what you think!

Updated Wednesday, 10:55 a.m. (PST)

We're sorry to pass on the news to our fine readers that Crazy Cray Cray has kept her seat in the House. The margin was a slim 4,207 vote difference, but she pulled it out in the end according to CNN.

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Our favorite "I-turn-homos-hetero" clinician, Ladybird Marcus Bachmann, is probably twisting in panties right now because his beard wife, Michele Bachmann, is in a very, very tight race in Minnesota.

Once hoping to be our next president, Bachmann is now in danger of losing her House seat to Democratic challenger Jim Graves who (as we write this 11:15 p.m. PST) only trails the incumbent Bachmann by a mere 1,600 votes according to CNN.

We only wonder if Ms. Mish can count that...

The outer bands of Hurricane Sandy have barely started to touch the Northeast Corridor yet we already know who is to blame! Once again, it's the gays, President Obama and ... Mitt Romney?

More on the totally unsurprising culprits for the nasty Frankenstorm after the jump!

It takes a lot to get our lazy (but gorgeous, mind you) booties up on a Monday for some house cleaning, but hate group leader Bryan Fischer's latest anti-gay "comparison" has us dusting off the "D-Bag of the Day" crown to toss upon that discarded muskrat fur masquerading as hair. 

Kristen Wiig, you're needed!

This video is our new favorite thing, if only because we've never seen anyone presented in such unfiltered, batsh*t glory!

Meet Jane Skrovota.

She's too delicate to say the word "penis," but she's certainly willing to give a graphic (and inaccurate) depiction of anal sex. Also lesbians have all been raped via Rohypnol and Judas was a homo. Oh and Whitney Houston was murdered. Apparently.

Sit back and watch this genius after the jump!

If we had to pick one topic that is flooding our Facebook news feeds today, well obviously Prop. 8 being overturned would be the winner. But if we had to pick two that were in the midst of a Facebook frenzy, Kelly Clarkson’s rendition of Madonna’s Crazy For You is in definite competition for second, which is a rank neither of these ladies is used to having. Check out this collision of Super Bowl divas.

Ladybird Bachmann has announced that she'll put forth an agenda of intolerance for all pro-life, pro-family and pro-marriage. Unless, of course, your marriage is of the same sex variety or your family unit is not one with opposite sex spouses.

Once again doing what has never been done, Lady Gaga's Gaga Workshop has opened at Barneys for the holiday season. After the jump, enjoy the Down The Rabbit Hole, Tim Burton-esque acid trip that the designs incite.

One of the dirtiest drag queens in all the land is back again with a parody of Rihanna's "We Found Love." Ridiculousness after the jump.

If it weren't for crazy people like Linda Harvey, we wouldn't realize how right we were. After the jump, listen to Harvey (who is apparently the expert on all things homosexual) explain why LGBT community hate Jesus and freedom.  

Jihad? Last time we checked, Rick Santorum was the one engaging in a religious war against us. Don't let factual word definitions, logic or the good American values of equality and freedom get in the way of the frothy mix GOP presidential candidate getting it backwards, however. Video and details follow.

New York-based Rabbi Levin, who bears public ties to the National Organization for Marriage and anti-gay NY Sen. Ruben Diaz, has surprised NOONE by rushing to blame the Great East Coast Earthquake of 2011 on the gays. Follow the jump if you're in need of a little booster to help you feel more secure in your own sanity...