What an honor! Our favorite J.C. Penney spokesperson, Ellen DeGeneres is receiving one of the country’s greatest honors!

Ellen will be receiving the 15th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

More after the jump.

"The First Gay President" (per Newsweek) gets a coming out story thanks to College Humor. Video after the jump!

Randy Rainbow has just received his massage therapy certification and John Travolta is already begging to break in his massage table in a new video from the irreverent gay viral hitmaker. Watch John threaten to show Randy the winking eye of Xenu, after the jump!

Not only will masturbating kill a kitten, make baby jesus cry and rip an angel's wings off, it'll also force some scary Appalachian ice lady to throw on her lace doily hat and magenta coat from Salvation Army's couture collection and come out of her igloo for the first time since Pizza Hut released its new cheeseburger pizza. Or something, according to this accidentally hilarious Blair Witch-style anti-fapping/anti-porn flick from a fundamentalist Christian group looking for funds via Kickstarter.

Grab the popcorn and butter flavored "massage oil" and follow the jump for a few minutes of hearty entertainment!

For Karl Lagerfeld to have extinguished this many skin creases he would've had to suck the youthful life out of the nether regions of an entire legion of young French model boys. Other than that slight discrepancy (and the fact that video dating hasn't been utilized since 1988), Ashton Kutcher's impersonation of the fashion overlord is spot on (especially the cheeky size queen reference).

Everyone knows that reading a comment flame war over homosexuality on YouTube is like reading Shakespeare, so it makes total sense that a classically trained acting troupe has decided to give the most audacious anti-gay comments from the site a theatrical reading. Watch "Troll Theatre: Homosexuality" bring YouTube's homophobes to life, after the jump!

Displaying once again a knack for timing (her Chick Fil A parody arrived the day she was kicked off Drag Race), Willam has given the web another viral gift with "Love You Like A Big Schlong." The hilarious NSFW Selena Gomez parody, after the jump! 

Who would've imagined that three lovable grandmas who've decided to watch the Kardashian sex tape gave us more classic one-liners than the RuPaul's Drag Race finale? Follow the jump to watch the most excitement Shady Pines has seen in years! (Video is NSFW for language.)

Seeing someone of the average age found in our Meemaw's knitting circle handle a floppy prosthetic penis could have made for a very awkward situation—if that someone wasn't Academy Award winner Susan Sarandon. Watch Susan discover the power of WMD's (White Man's D*ck) in a hilarious new video from Funny or Die, after the jump! 

For once we didn't nod off when walking Ambien ad Joe Biden started to speak! Knowingly employing the use of sexual innuendo, the Vice President said that President Obama is in possession of the "big stick" necessary to handle a man.

Oops, to "handle Iran." Sorry. Freudian slip.

Details and VP Joe's other double entendre regarding Obama's man junk, after the jump!

The prison library needs to open so that Michelle Visage, RuPaul and Santino can read Brazilian inmate Ronald Silva into another dimension.

Ronald, who is behind bars for alleged drug trafficking, snuck in his wife's clothing, painted his face and tucked away without any help from a mirror (obviously), and attempted to sashay right out of prison. Details follow.

Does bigger = better? A new hilarious and NSFW campaign from Epic Level TV has us doing the math.