OK, we can't get married for fear of "destroying the institution's sanctity," but THIS?!! (Details follow.)

Though pansexual might be a more appropriate label, the most shocking news of all time ever in history has arrived: Snooki is bisexual.

...not that we're complaining!

America's greatest export from 2009 to 2010 has infiltrated Dublin's westside in the form of Tallafornia, featuring beefy Irish gorillas and guidettes (err, gaelettes?). A Mystery Science Theater 3000-esque commentary video brings both the series and its glaring homoeroticism to our attention. Watch it, and a video introducing the half-naked reality TV series stars, after the jump!

Early Thursday, the American Federation of Teachers and GLAAD launched anti-bullying PSAs. Many surprising celebs turn up in a series of PSAs showing solidarity with the LGBT community, especially youth. Catch the short videos after the jump.

A couple gorilla juicehead faries (three words we'd never thought we'd use together) join two of Jersey Shore's bargain bin chicks to promtoe 6-hour energy shots. Of course, it took us three viewings to pay attention to what the guys were promoting...

In a deal that leaves millions of aging gays who have moved on from using "boi" in their screenames filled with envy, Abercrombie & Fitch have offered the cast of Jersey Shore a paycheck to stop wearing the brand. Details follow. 

Oh lawd. It was Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's Cassanova skills, not his six-pack, that he flexed when Jay Leno asked the Jersey Shore star to hit on Jesse Eisenberg last night. Details follow.

Scientists have determined the origins of the Snooki in an effort to create a possible vaccination, or better yet, cure for the plague that has taken over the country as well as the New York Times Bestseller List. So, how did Nicole Polizzi develop a bad case of the Snooki?

There seems to be enough in the news to be angry about these days without shows like the Jersey Shore to make you fume. Come on, vacuous, shallow and reckless young adults making more money per speaking engagements than Nobel Prize winner Toni Morrison, spending their days in the gym or tanning booth, and sloshing through their nights with no redeemable qualites has got to hurt the image of their home state. However, the polls may surprise you? Details after the jump.  

Will the Jersey Shore seem classier with the addition of British accents? Geordie Shore—the U.K. strain of the viral American reality show—debuted its buff tan cast the other day leaving us to wonder which Shore guys are hotter, America's or the United Kingdom's? Follow the jump to scope out the new cast and weigh in!

Look, we may not always see eye to eye with our competitor (agreeing to interview Snooki being the least significant thing on that list), but something that Out Magazine has running in their new issue is making us a tad confused. Find out what the fuss is and weigh in after jump.

It's nice to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler together again, even if we have to peek through 17 pounds of fake tanner and tattered-animal print lycra. Follow the jump to watch the comedic duo spoof The Jersey Shore on Jimmy Fallon's Jersey Floor.