Granted, it's not a fair fight (Dan's razor-wit handicaps Maggie's short-sided bigotry), but a spat between the two heavyweights has inspired our first Catfight Of The Day post since 2010. Let the match begin!

As a deadline to decide on legislation allowing homeless children every possible opportunity to find loving families in Virginia approaches, Gov. Bob McDonnell, spurred by Maggie Galla-monster's recent hate-mongering, has decided he'll support bigotry. Find out what the governor has decided that will limit orphaned Virginian children's chances for finding homes. 

...whatever that means. And no, it's not an April Fools, though it is definitely a joke. Follow the jump for details.

All the Maggie Gallaghers of the world (yes! two jabs in less than an hour) pay attention: the Winnipeg Humane Society is holding a Kitty Midnight Madness sale all week! Not since Charlie Sheen has this much pussy earned money at midnight! OK. The jokes on this hilarious viral video write themselves...

(Via D-Listed) 

Ex NOM leader Maggie Gallagher's odd obsession with other people's sex lives continues with this new quote on anal sex for straight couples. Someone needs to get laid. 

“Anal sex is painful, unsanitary, unsatisfying for women, and creates unique risks for serious physical diseases (if you doubt me, go read the Wikipedia entry on the subject) because the anus is not designed for sexual intercourse, increasing the risk of torn flesh and the intermingling of bodily fluids — blood, semen, fecal matter — that can spread an astonishing variety of diseases. The female partner is far more at risk than the man in these encounters. This should be a feminist issue. But women are doing it to please their boyfriends. Because we have created ...

Need to work out those pesky, hard-to-target optical muscles? A new interview from the gold-mine of farce that is Maggie Gallagher is sure to leave your eyes rolling for days!

Says Maggie to the Australian Conservative (a publication in a country that has renewed the call for marriage equality, btw), "Equality is the state religion. If equality demands we accept that there is no difference between same-sex and opposite sex relationships, then people who cannot accept that, who do not believe it is true, will become second-class citizens – tolerated perhaps, but only in a marginalized and stigmatized way.

"We are already seeing the engine of state power being used to exclude traditional religious believers, especially from posts of...

In an op-ed piece for Wednesday's New York Post ex NOM hag Maggie Gallagher makes a brazen attempt to wipe her conscience clean of any guilt the vilification of the gay community might have carried in regards to teen suicides.

For the article titled, "Do I Have Blood On My Hands," Maggie supplies a few questionable statistics plaguing gay teens that she believes should take the blame for their disproportionate depression and suicide rates instead of her crown as the country's most blatant hate mongerer.

"Gay students are also more than twice as likely to report having had sexual intercourse before age 13 -- that is, to be sexually abused as children. They are three times as likely to report being the victims of dating violence, and nearly...

Ms. Deloris Van Cartier herself was back in nun wear last night—though in a slightly different role. Whoopi Goldberg may be the producer of the Sister Act stage show, currently up in London, but last night she slid back into the habit for the first night of her month-long run on the Palladium stage.

But not as Deloris! This time around, Whoopi is playing Mother Superior (done so brilliantly by Maggie Smith in the film versions). And though she's no stranger to the stage, Whoopi was apparently nervous prior to last night's big open.

So, how'd it go? We'll take pop star Mika's word for it:

"On my way to see Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act!! Can't wait. My friend Anthony Van Laast, who directed my last tour, directed the show. I hear...

NOM's favorite no-shoe-wearing gal took to the organization's website Wednesday night following court with the following statement:

"Chuck Cooper is a heckuva lawyer. At stake in this case is the future of marriage in all 50 states, and he's right that this attempt to shut down the debate by constitutionalizing gay marriage will backfire. Americans have a right to vote for marriage. Ted Olson doesn't seem to understand the argument, and judging from today's exchanges neither does Judge Walker. I expect Judge Walker will overrule Prop 8. But millions of Americans do understand why marriage is the union of husband and wife and I believe the majority of the Supreme Court will as well."

—Maggie Gallagher

This might just make our black hearts turn a lighter shade of gray:

Via (Joe.My.God.)

Now that Maggie Gallagher has had enough time to get over her breakup with Carrie Prejean, it seems the head of the National Organization for Marriage is ready to move on. Fate has answered Maggie’s pleas for a new golden girl in the form of Miss Beverly Hills Lauren Ashley. How serendipitous!

Maggie has come out swinging for her new trophy in a statement released to Faux News:

"I'm not surprised that Miss Beverly Hills, Lauren Ashley, opposes gay marriage -- after all 45 percent of young Californians voted for Prop 8, as did 7 million Californians generally," the organization's president, Maggie Gallagher, told us. "But I have to say, I am impressed with her courage in coming forward and for speaking up for Carrie. The elected officials...

Sure, it may be that time of the year when every magazine and news organization will put out their best and worst lists for all things 2009. But let’s face it, the only opinion that really matters is ours! We already hit the cultural highlights of the year in our December/January issue, but this week will delve just a little deeper into a few of our favorite topics. So, check back every day and weigh in on our choices. Think we got it wrong? Let us know! Think we got it right? Tell us that even more! We love a little praise...