We were one of the firsts to tell you the fashionably outspoken Johnny Weir was picked as a judge for ABC's upcoming Skating With The Who? Stars fiasco. As expected, Weir thinks he'll bridge the gap between Simon and Paula, resulting in a tough, compassionate judge.

"I'm not going to be soft on [the contestants]," Weir told PEOPLE on Tuesday. "I suppose I'd be Simon Cowell, but with a lot of Paula underneath."

"I'm all for the theatrics and the beauty of figure skating, but at the same time, I'm an Olympian twice-over. I'm going to judge the technique the way it should be judged."

All the cast members (I can't even remember their names, that's how star-studded the show is) better bring it!

The word "star" is officially in foreclosure as the recession and modern American pop-culture stretches its meaning so thin that even Karl Lagerfeld won't throw a skinned embryonic jaguar on it and send it down a runway. The latest "reality" show to bastardize the word so that all one needs to claim it are recent free-clinic discharge papers is Skating With The 'Stars', which has announced its lineup of who-the-hells? and judges today.

And the amazing cast of A-Listers is:

Rebecca Budig - Greenlee on All My Children
Bethenny Frankel - Reality star and maker of the worst cocktails ever
Vince Neil - Tish Cyrus' next conquest
Brandon Smith - Disney star
Jonny Mosely - Olympic gold-medal

Fortunately for the show, I plan to watch each and every...