Updated Monday, 1:00 p.m. PST

We asked for a live reading of last week's batsh*t crazy email from a University of Maryland Delta Gamma member to her sorority sisters and now we have received it!

Apparently manifestation works like that. With that in mind, we're now officially asking for Adam Levine. We'll let you know how that works out.

Anyway, Academy Award nominated actor Michael Shannon is giving us his own performative interpretation of the epic rant and it's not to be missed. Watch after the jump!

While we applaud anyone that has a healthy appreciation for women (where would be without our girls, after all?), this is a bit much.

Gay members of the unofficial Greek chapter MIAKA (Men Interested In Alpha Kappa Alpha) are suing the National Pan-Hellenic Council sorority chapter, Alpha Kappa Alpha, with claims of homophobia and gender discrimination. 

These dudes REALLY want to be members of AKA. More after the jump.