Surprisingly, Bel Ami films were not included on a list of torrent downloads occurring within The Vatican. Instead, lesbian porn starring Tiffany Starr and Sheena Shaw, and a few BDSM titles worked their way over the IP pipeline to the computers of those inside the Holy See.

Considering that the wardrobe of most who enter the Vatican is just as flamboyant as any one of the Scissor Sisters, "Let's Have A Kiki" will make the perfect soundtrack for the upcoming Papal Conclave. Follow the jump for the latest brilliance from Miss Betty Bowers.

The Vatican, bruised from the historic outpouring of love that brought victory to the big four marriage equality battles earlier this month, won't go down without a fight. Vatican Spokesman Father Federico Lombardi has made it clear that Catholic Church heirarchy are pissed off at the majorities of Americans who voted for love. To save humanity from the slippery slope that marriage equality has caused all around the world (ahem), the Big Man wearing the lace dress and chiffon robe will amp up the fight for the "privileged recognition" of opposite-sex marriage. 

Because nothing gets gays hotter than Pope Benedict XVI, Bel Ami's George Duroy snuck his cameras into the Vatican to make the Prada-loving European who likes to always be surrounded by other dudes the newest star of his porn franchise.

The Vatican has taken a ruler to the hands of 55,000 Catholic nuns in the United States this week for not being homophobic enough. Details follow. 

Updated 9:50 a.m. (EST)

The Vatican isn't feeling wooed by those provocative United Colors of Benetton ads we told you about on Wednesday, specifically, the ad depicting Pope Benedict as a human capable of love (and, well, kissing an Imam). Details follow.

Keep phones away from any generation in the Gibson clan as members seem genetically prone to bigoted outbursts when placed in proximity. It was first apparent in a collection of high-spirited phone calls made by Mel Gibson to baby mama Oksana. Not wanting to be left out of the family tradition, Mel's father, Hutton Gibson, unleashed his own tirade over the phone while on air with a U.S. radio show, basically to claim that the Vatican is full of a bunch of sissies. 

When hosts of the Political Cesspool Radio Program (charming) asked Hutton if he thought the Vatican was successfully confronting "the issue" of homosexuality, he responded, "It's not willing to do so because half of the people there in the Vatican are queer."

When asked...

Another month, more surprising somewhat-support from organized religion.

In November, Mormon support of civil rights laws in Salt Lake City drew a collective double-take from our community. Today, an outspoken Cardinal whose vile homophobic comments have drawn the ire of The Vatican, which has in turn drawn a WTF from some in the GLBT community.

The comments fell from the mind of Cardinal Javier Lozano Barragan yesterday, and included such greatest hits as gays are “an insult to God.” Other notable and damaging remarks from Cardinal Barragan include:

“Transsexuals and homosexuals will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

“People are not born homosexual, they become homosexual, for different reasons: education issues or because...

It took them more than a few centuries to come around, but Catholics at the Vatican are finally dipping their toes into the forefront of scientific thought—without mention of exiles or stake burnings or home imprisonments. No, this time the church was on the side of the scientists invited to Rome for a conference on extraterrestrials.

On Tuesday, Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the director of the Vatican's Observatory, announced the conference's results, declaring that there was nothing in the Catholic faith that prohibited welcoming aliens with open arms. Best vocalized in an article in the Vatican's paper last year, Funes said, "Just as there is a multitude of creatures on Earth, there could be other beings, even intelligent ones, ...