It appears that no action will be taken by the Vatican with regards to Cardinal Keith O'Brien's sexual misconduct with four priests (those are just the ones that we know of). 

Now that O'Brien's admitted to "unbecoming" sexual conduct, the Vatican sees no point in pursuing an investigation--or at the very least punishing him for his blatant hypocrisy as he vocally advocated against the rights of homosexuals while getting his rocks off with men in the rectory.

Shocking. (Not shocking.)

More after the jump.

Surprisingly, Bel Ami films were not included on a list of torrent downloads occurring within The Vatican. Instead, lesbian porn starring Tiffany Starr and Sheena Shaw, and a few BDSM titles worked their way over the IP pipeline to the computers of those inside the Holy See.

And the person who will be making plenty of appearances on this here blog (whether good or bad, who's to know) is 76-year old Cardinal Bergoglio, from Argentina. He has taken the name Pope Francis and is the first non-European pontifex. 

Everything the Vatican does is just farcical and made for headlines at the Onion at this point, isn't it?

The latest Vatican deal to leave Catholics around the world clutching their rosaries involves the purchase of a block of Rome real-estate that happens to include Europe's largest gay bathhouse, Europa Multiclub. 

Considering that the wardrobe of most who enter the Vatican is just as flamboyant as any one of the Scissor Sisters, "Let's Have A Kiki" will make the perfect soundtrack for the upcoming Papal Conclave. Follow the jump for the latest brilliance from Miss Betty Bowers.

Updated Saturday, 2:45 p.m. PST

Following the widespread coverage of reports alleging that Pope Benedict's resignation is due in part to a gay sex scandal within the Vatican, the Vatican has finally released an official statement.

They're less than pleased.

More after the jump.

UPDATED: 12:25 p.m. EST

Soon to be former Pope Benedict has released an official statement detailing his historic resignation. Check it out after the break.

Pope Benedict has once again exploited a holiday meant to celebrate peace and the coming together of humanity to demonize a minority group. Check out the Pope's latest vitriolic battle in his war against the LGBT community after the jump.

The Vatican, bruised from the historic outpouring of love that brought victory to the big four marriage equality battles earlier this month, won't go down without a fight. Vatican Spokesman Father Federico Lombardi has made it clear that Catholic Church heirarchy are pissed off at the majorities of Americans who voted for love. To save humanity from the slippery slope that marriage equality has caused all around the world (ahem), the Big Man wearing the lace dress and chiffon robe will amp up the fight for the "privileged recognition" of opposite-sex marriage. 

Because nothing gets gays hotter than Pope Benedict XVI, Bel Ami's George Duroy snuck his cameras into the Vatican to make the Prada-loving European who likes to always be surrounded by other dudes the newest star of his porn franchise.

Catholics, Muslims, and Jews all coming together in perfect harmony.

What could possibly unite these religious groups together as one?

According to the Pope's Nuncio in the United Kingdom, the Archbishop Antonio Mennini, it's their shared opposition to same-sex marriage.

How heartwarming.

More after the jump.

The Vatican has taken a ruler to the hands of 55,000 Catholic nuns in the United States this week for not being homophobic enough. Details follow.