You know we had to go there in the headline. 

Antoine Dodson, the YouTube viral video star who boasts 53 million views, says he has suddenly quit being gay. 

We're looking into starting a refugee program for international men deemed too handsome to be in homely countries, now that we know this is actually a thing thanks to Saudi Arabia. 

Bishop Thomas Paprocki of the Archdiocese of Springfield in Illinois has started talking about a priest under his employ who was granted a leave of absence for an odd 911 call in late 2012. Earlier this month we brought you the story of Father Tom Donovan, who had to have police help him out of a mouth gag and handcuffs. Today, Bishop Paprocki, who is currently at war with marriage equality efforts in Illinois, released a statement about the incident. 

Someone sniffed too many poppers on New Year's Eve. We're not even a week into 2013 and there's already too much cray-cray circling the Internet, namely thanks to self-labeled "ex gay porn star" Joseph Sciambra. In a video that will be studied by psychiatry students for decades to come, Sciambra claims gay men give birth to the devil anally. 

Feel better about your own sanity by watching Sciambra's video after the jump!

One Direction's online child army and a flurry of press outlets were quick to attack Bravo's Andy Cohen after he referred to the band as "twinks" live on the Today show. Calling the word "offensive" and "derogatory," Andy was pressured to apologize. Details follow. 

A new ad from PETA connects a vegetarian diet to sexual health in men by replacing man meat with the squash family. The activist group is always up to some head-shaking unbelievable shit, but this new stunt might take the cock cake. Check out the NSFW-ish commercial after the jump. 

In a misguided attempt to resonate with LGBT youth by flexing his rap skills, Father Claude Dusty Burns lets his drawn-out rhymes explain that some Catholic leaders think its okay to be gay as long as you live a lie.

Check out Father Burns's flow (who's known in the rap game as "Fr Pontifex") after the jump!

Smoking pot on stage in Amsterdam is a lot of things, but is it slutty? The answer, according to Staten Island Borough President Jame Molinaro, is a curmudgeonly "by Jesus, yes."

Updated Monday, 2 p.m. EST

GLAAD and the Family Equality Council have put on their muck boots, yellow gloves and sanitary masks and stepped in to Rupert Everett's anti-gay mess. 

So, what what do the LGBT organizations have to say to the gay actor for unleashing homophobic comments about same-sex parents over the weekend? 

Because high tech gaydar technology isn't yet available in Malaysia, authorities are resorting to the next most offensive best thing: endorsing a list of the "warning signs of homosexuality" so that communities can vigilantly prevent the "Western trend" from "spreading" to its schoolchildren. 

So, which teen styles have the Malaysian government determined to be homosexual and worthy of punishment?

The National Organization for Marriage's Brian Brown has managed to even outdo his own dirty reputation by fundraising off the tragic Family Research Council shooting and painting all marriage equality supporters as "attempted murderers" in the process. 

If you have a little extra junk in the hood or simply want others to believe you have extra horse power, then these new jeans that include extra breathing room for man members might be for you!