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Who’s Going Home Tonight?
Written by Mike Wood   
Wednesday, 11 April 2007

These are my predictions for the bottom three on tonight's American Idol.

HALEY SCARNATO
CHRIS RICHARDSON
PHIL STACEY

Image

Here’s what I’m thinking :

Haley’s shorts were just a little too…short. But the salivating tween boys love it. She’ll be in the bottom three, but she’ll stay another week.

Sanjaya’s voice wasn’t all that bad. And that Blake is super-cute. Therefore, the bland boy band-member-in-the-making Chris will meet the chopping block, but survive.

His voice is strong, but Nosferatu (aka Phil Stacey) is just kinda creepy-looking. Sorry. I see a big BOOT in his very near future. Like, um, tonight.

What do you guys think?

 
TV Programming Execs Can Be Cruel
Written by Mike Wood   
Friday, 06 April 2007
ImageEnough already.

Last night NBC did their whole super-sized episode horse crap thing so that every episode of every show on their primetime schedule started and ended at some stupid, fake time like 8:34 or 9:17. We couldn’t even get our Grey’s on amidst the confusion! Good thing it was a repeat!

This whole trick they’ve developed where a show starts at 8:58 and goes until 10:03 for an extra few morose minutes on House or a really desperate Desperate Housewives is beginning to bug me and my TV-addicted friends.

So let’s tell ‘em we ain't having it. We’ll concoct a letter something like this:

Dear Execs,
I get that your market share is shrinking and that your need to sell ad time is high, but you’re starting to really make my blood boil (Don’t make Mikey angry—just ask the interns!) I used to be able to watch a TV show that started at a real time like 9pm and then start another show at 9:30. With the advent of TiVo and other DVR technology, I’ve been able, until recently, to record my favorite shows with no hiccups. But now my DVR is regularly cutting off the last minute or two of every show because of this dumb-but-clever time gimmick/scheme. I don’t want to watch the last 12 minutes of anything. I want to watch the whole show. I want a show to begin and end when a show should; on the hour or half hour. So please, stop. Think of the children.


Are you with me, peeps?

 
I Love Haley Scarnato…And Here's Why
Written by Mike Wood   
Thursday, 05 April 2007
ImageShe's hot. Period. The end.

Of course, I jest. While I do think she has smokin' legs, I am not as shallow as Simon. Well, maybe I am…but not when it comes to women. Plus, I'm a gay man, so I can see beyond her hotness. Barely. 

Yes, she may have been bland as oatmeal a month or so a go, but then—out of nowhere—I was like, “Who is this girl? Where did she come from? Was she always in the Top 10?” Simon got it right then, too, when he forgot her name.

But then there was that week when the stylists took over and they worked the girl’s natural beauty to her advantage. Then, along with her voice, people took notice. It seemed on that very night, the stars aligned and her voice caught up with her wardrobe, and yes, oh yes, those legs.

She may not have the pipes of a Melinda Do-gooder, but Haley can sing sexy and salty, yet still have a fun “everyday” innocence about her.

While the straight males oogle her hooters, I’ll admire Haley’s hotness. So, Haley is MY new dark horse—plus, she’s got way better hair than Sanjaya!

Beat me up, berate me, but I’m speed dialing, and re-speed dialing next Tuesday! Join me!

She deserves out of that dreaded BOTTOM THREE!

 
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