Fitbit for your Johnson? There’s an app for everything now.

So you have the iPhone 6+ and you just received your iWatch.  What's next?  The iCockring?

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The Lovely, a "smart" sex toy, fits around the penis and tracks sexual activity — from calories burned, to number of thrusts, to the intensity of intercourse. A smartphone app measures these and other data sets before recommending new sex positions "to help you have even better sex next time," the Indiegogo page reads.

Made of silicone, the one-size-fits-all toy vibrates to help provide stimulation during sex. It syncs to your smartphone via bluetooth, and its battery lasts for seven hours without vibration, or two hours with. When Lovely's battery gets low, just place it in its wireless charging cradle to power it up. – huffpost

It's even better than the iWatch!  It wirelessly recharges. Unlike the watch, I'm not sure I want The Lovely resting in it's charger on my nightstand in plain sight.  But then again, being out in the open might be one of the plusses of this new piece of technology.  It's main intent is to better increase your sex life, so if it's out in the open, it's going to be a pleasant reminder of what happens in the bedroom.

Here's a video to learn more about The Lovely.

 

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So it's a vibrator, cock ring, gives sex tips, measures calories, sends booty call emails, fully waterproof, and charges wirelessly.  Yep, there's an app for that.  It also measures G-force, average speed, calories burned, and can provide suggestions for different positions? I didn't see that it takes into account my circadian rhythms.  But will this product be just for straight couples or unions that involve at least one penis?

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One of the best things about the device? Its tracking software isn't only for straight couples — it's meant for relationships of all orientations.

"It doesn't just have to go on a penis," Reid Mahalko, a sex and relationship expert attached to the project, says of the Lovely in a promotional video. "You can put this wearable on a dildo, you can put it on your fingers, you can use it on a toy on yourself. It's really only going to be limited by the ideas that you come up with." – huffpost

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I guess I'm more of an "au naturel" kind of guy and am not use to using a cock ring and in my naivete, I just never thought straight couples used cock rings.  I guess all types of men need some help with longevity. 

Hold up.  If men won't stop to get directions when lost, do you think we'll listen to an app telling us how to get it on, where to put it, how fast to do it?  And even worse, are we going to have a nagging partner that now has proof?  Will this app just give them fodder to say "you're doing it all wrong!"

 

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So if you want The Lovely you're going to have to wait a little bit and if you want your partner to forget that it exists, maybe they won't recall it was ever made within a year's time. 

The project is currently raising money on Indiegogo. If the campaign reaches its goal of $95,000 by early July, the Lovely will eventually be released for $169 a pop. The project had raised nearly $5,000, as of Friday afternoon.

People who donate to the campaign can expect to get their Lovely device by June 2016, if the funding is successful, that is. – huffpost

Would you get "the Fitbit for your Johnson?" 

Do you think this will spark some conversations between you and your partner about better sex?

Is it sad that an app has to do that?

5 thoughts on “Fitbit for your Johnson? There’s an app for everything now.”

  1. Way off topic, but there does

    Way off topic, but there does appear to be cures for cancer. It will never make it to mainstream medisin though, because msm and the supportive understructure foundations will Always need more money, lots and lots more of your money, and time. It's an industry to make money. Don't put any hope whatsover in mainstream medisin.

     

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  2. This is why we don’t have a

    This is why we don't have a fucking cure for Cancer! The damn scientist are too busy diddling with their dicks.

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  4. I assume it tracks anti-gay

    I assume it tracks anti-gay conservative closeted congressmen who are also wearing one near you. And I'm sure it would have a nice wide angle camera to record the action, right? That'd be hot.

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