Instinct Hottie of the Week is Life Coach Extraordinaire Frank Paul Vignola

Credit: Rick Stockwell

If all life coaches look like this, then sign us up, cuz we’re in need of some help. 

Frank Paul Vignola, a jack of all trades who resides in New York City, is Instinct Magazine‘s latest Hottie of the Week. His good looks aside (which is hard to do but we are going with it), Frank is someone who excels in the art of working with all kinds of people to ensure that they are living their best lives possible.


He’s an open book when it comes to what he’s been through in order for him to make it at the stage he’s at in his own life. His past struggles with addiction and depression allows the people he works with to open themselves up much further as there’s a comfort level when both are, well, frank about who they are and what they want to change about themselves (learn more about that on his official website here).

Frank has also found success in the acting world over the past couple of years by landing key roles including The Blacklist: Redemption and The Six Degrees of Murder. He also is a master at the world of comedy which makes sense given that he honed his craft in at the William Esper Studio, T. Schreiber Studio and Upright Citizens Brigade. So there’s a lot going on with this amazing guy that easily scored him our hottie this week.

Get to know more about him below.


What do you think is the most attractive part about yourself?

My balls. They’re really big. And by that, I mean my courage. I wasn’t always courageous and confident. I earned my “big balls” by constantly doing things I was afraid of, not good at or uncomfortable with. I took risks and failed over and over and over again, and I’m proud of myself for it. Above all other things, I think it’s my greatest attribute.

What do you find guys compliment on you the most, physically?

Probably my eyes. Some people have said they’re warm and inviting and others have felt like I was peering into the depths of their soul. Truth is I probably am peering into your soul without an invitation, but also inviting you into mine. 


What, to you, defines sexy in another man?

Several things, but courage is huge for me. Courage is not exclusively the willingness to risk your life in battle or act “lion-like” (Cowardly Lion reference). The willingness to be honest and authentic is rooted in courage. The willingness to be vulnerable is rooted in courage. The ability to be assertive is rooted in courage. These are all qualities of what seems to be a dying breed of man. Nowadays, men seem to be much more focused on honing their exterior in a way that makes them LOOK like someone with a virtue of courage- big muscles, big beards, big tattoos, etc. But often everything underneath is underdeveloped and out of alignment. Outside they look like wolves, but inside they’re sheep. That’s a problem.

What is your proudest moment so far in your life in being an out and proud gay man? 


I don’t identify as an out and proud gay man. Regarding my sexual preference, I could most accurately be described as a four on the Kinsey scale. My proudest moment regarding that would probably be the day I decided that my personality transcends any label, especially ones rooted in who I’m bringing home to bed. Don’t get me wrong. I see value in being a part of something bigger than ourselves, but I’d like to show men that there is more to them than the tribe that’s accepted them. While those tribes may make them feel like they belong, I want to help guys find their individuality within those tribes. After all, it’s our individualities that define the tribe, not vice versa.

What haven’t you accomplished, personally or professionally, that you are wanting to do in the next 2-3 years?

I’m currently refining a method for teaching men how to find and embrace their masculinity. Masculinity is a sensitive topic these days, but the conversation isn’t going anywhere – meaning it’s not going away AND it’s not getting resolved. I have grappled with my own, yearned for it, rejected it and run from it as I know many men have- gay, straight and everything in between. But, through painstaking diligence, I have discovered and embraced and fallen in love with my masculinity. It’s a huge part of my identity and pride. I want other men to be able to experience the same happiness and self-love that I have as a result of it. I believe I can show them how. 

Have you found love? If so what is the best part of your relationship and what do you love most in your partner(s)?


I have a lot of love in my life. My parents, my niece and nephew, my friends, my work and passions and myself. No romantic love currently. While I don’t need it to be happy, I enjoy it. I am open to both romantic love and companionship if and when it feels right. Some of my favorite parts of past relationships have been shared vulnerability, trust, support, inspiration, TV time, cooking together, traveling together, physical affection, banter, play and good sex.

Rapid fire question time: 

Favorite movie of all time:  Easy. Shawshank Redemption. Male bonding through adversity. One of the strongest bonds in the world.


Biggest celebrity crush at the moment:  Pennywise the dancing clown. 

Favorite cheat meal or snack that you can’t get enough of: Pizza

If you’re stuck on an island for eternity, what CD do you want to have there with you?: Marilyn Manson: Antichrist Superstar. I couldn’t really say if it’s still my favorite album today, but it’s the one I remember cherishing the most at any point in my life, so it fills me with nostalgic memories of rage, incarceration, black lipstick and overcoming some of the greatest challenges of my life.

You can also learn more about Frank by following him on his popular Instagram account here.

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