What remains below this line is what I published on Instinct at the notice of his passing. I was saddened to see the posts surrounding his death, but with the past couple years of his life and all of the reality tv hopping he has been doing (from The Bachelorette, dating and being engaged to multiple Life after Lock Up individuals, from his marriage to some David guy after he came out as bisexual, a man many are saying didn’t exist), many are now saying that his death was a hoax he carried out, even his most recent partner agrees, Monica Beverly Hillz, another reality television star that was on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Here We Go.
Instinct Magazine was recently approached by a former male contestant from the 11th season of The Bachelorette. Josh Seiter (@josh_seiter_official). He wanted to share his story and his personal growth and truth about his sexuality. After a brief chat, I said let’s do an interview where we’ll ask some of “those” questions, bring up a little bit of his recent past, and see where he is currently. Here are the results of our time with Josh.
He had opened up about several topics in some emails back and forth and he appreciated the very clarifying questions we asked him that others had not. He shared that he was excited about dating a new man. And we did talk about him and his therapist:
Instinct – In another conversation we had before, you mentioned that you have a therapist. First of all, BRAVO! I think we all can learn something from going to a therapist, from knowing that a therapist is not for you to realizing that it is amazing to have someone to help you figure out what is going on in that head of yours. June is Men’s Health Awareness Month (surrounding Father’s Day) and part of that full body health is mental health, too. Can you describe how much your therapist has helped you from this topic of your sexuality to others?
Josh – I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t found therapy. My therapists are amazing. As I mentioned before, I am an individual living with mental illness, and I have been battling GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), depression, and OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) since the age of 15. I’ve been seeing two different therapists pretty consistently for the last 20 years. They have taught me how to restructure my negative and self-defeating thoughts through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and I owe my life to them. In addition, they’ve taught me the power of turning “I must” to “I would prefer,” and that alone was such a big breakthrough for me. So often we upset ourselves by thinking “I must be liked by everyone. I must succeed. I must do well. Things must go right.” When, inevitably, we aren’t liked by everyone, we don’t succeed, we don’t do well, or things don’t go right, then we tend to awfulize. “I must be liked by everyone. Since I’m not this is awful and terrible, it’s the end of the world.” My therapists have taught me to stop “musturbating” and instead restructure my thoughts. An example: “I would prefer to be liked by everyone, but if I’m not that’s ok. It’s neither awful nor terrible, but merely inconvenient and annoying. The world will go on.” This slight twist in thinking and processing of events has been a game changer. As the Stoics say “no event can disturb us, only our interpretation of it can.” So where once my anxiety was crippling, it is now mostly just background noise.
The words therapy/therapist popped up 17 times in our interview. One of his pinned Instagram posts from July 2021, the caption read:
I’m Josh Seiter, and I’m a suicide attempt survivor. I battle OCD, Bipolar Depression, and GAD, but I refuse to give up. What did you survive? #warriors #survivors #mentalhealth #awareness #bodypositivity #health #fitness
Many comments on our story were that several remember Josh stating earlier that he was pansexual. And we asked him a question relating to just that. Some people may think that he was looking for clicks or clout and coming out possibly just another step for more likes and followers:
Josh – I have extremely thick skin. I’ve been called every name in the book, almost all of them false. I’ve been called a prostitute, a clout chaser, a fame whore, wanna-be, reality TV whore, you name it. I can’t stress how little people’s opinion of me matters. Losing my father taught me that unless something affects my ability to see or communicate with my family members and loved ones, it simply doesn’t matter. My therapy has taught me the same thing. I might prefer to be liked, but if I’m not, that’s neither awful nor terrible, and life will go on. People’s opinions of me exist in space (mainly internet space) and are absolutely inconsequential to my every day life. I think it’s precisely because I’ve been dragged and trashed so much in the past that I can hold this sort of enlightened perspective. If people think I’m coming out now for fame, let them think that. I have no desire to change their mind. All I can speak is my truth.
And that was the last I heard from or about Joshua until today. A statement made by Seiter’s family posted to Joshua’s Instagram page (@josh_seiter_official) on Monday afternoon was as follows:
“It is with an extremely heavy heart that we share the tragic news of Joshua’s unexpected passing. As all who knew him can attest, Joshua was an incredibly bright light in an increasingly dim world. His fearless voice and indomitable spirit helped thousands of people in their darkest moments feel just a little less alone. His fearless voice and indomitable spirit helped thousands of people in their darkest moments feel just a little less alone. Although our heartache at Joshua’s passing pains us beyond measure, we find comfort knowing that he is finally at peace”
I was very happy that he had a therapist for what he was going through, all of those life changes we witnessed on social media and through the June and July interviews across the internet. Looking back, was his reality life a search for his reality? With the research that I did before we ran our first piece (no, I am not a doctor, don’t play one on television, but did teach Psychology for 5 years, and of course I will not diagnose), there just seemed to be a continuous reality tv mode he was in. And I fear his loss will be repeated by others in the future.
I’m happy to hear he’s alive, but I’m so angry at the situation. It’s infuriating that so many people who care about Josh have been deeply effected by this.
Everyone deserves grace, but unfortunately I can’t help but think that he was able to pull this stunt as a cisgender white man – acting like he was dead – when so many of my sisters and trans women of color have been brutally murdered this year and the same love and support isn’t show to them.
Men who do this shit are usually trying to compensate for some insecurity or darkness inside them. The dolls know all too well that these men are dangerous and I saw the red flags fast a mile away. To keep it frank – ban his instagram account, he needs to get help or lock his ass up.
Let this example speak volumes to the girls who already know – keep those men who seek our fame and attention far way from us. I’ve learned my lesson and now I’m only on to bigger and better things.
What are your thoughts? Where there is smoke, there is fire? Was he hacked? Or is Monica correct in her deduction?
Final Thoughts –
When he had bounced around from gay site to gay site, I was like, sure, go ahead. You do you and get that publicity going. OnlyFans? Sure, everyone is doing it so why not. And when he came back to us for the revenge porn coverage, I was more reserved and told him no as reminded him he had the tools to do it himself or he could bring his story elsewhere. That was back at the end of July. I didn’t bite and I guess no one else did or he took care of it himself as we heard nothing of it. And then when he died, excuse me, faux died, I was sad as I thought his struggle to find reality after reality tv got the best of him.
Allegedly this and allegedly that. Did he get hacked or did he allegedly do this for attention again? I/we will most likely never know.
What I do know, is I feel I need to move on from this social media individual, influencer, reality tv personality, Instagram popping individual. If he has a mental disorder or illness or infliction, maybe “reality” tv and “social” media may not be the best place to be. That therapist may not be doing the best job.
Be well Josh/Joshua/Andrew Dean in your future endeavors. Good luck with your revenge porn, resurrection, next reality television person you date, next reality tv franchise you try to enter to gain more followers. Instinct may cover your life’s comings and goings in the future, but I may have my writers think twice before hitting that publish button.
As with all of our articles we post on Instinct Magazine that are heavy with personal commentary, I include the following statement:
This article contains the opinions of this writer and may not reflect the opinions of other writer or that of Instinct Magazine.