Openly bisexual SiriusXM radio host and MMA fighter Jason Ellis knows he’s a rough-looking dude.
“I have a tough exterior,” writes Ellis in a personal essay for The Advocate. “I fight MMA. I’m a skateboarder. I’m tattooed from head to toe. But if you get to know me you know I’m a sensitive man.”
“And the rejection of me being a bisexual man by other LGBTQ people hurts,” adds Ellis.
In his new book, Still Awesome: The Trials and Tribulations of an Egotistical Maniac, the former pro skateboarder from Australia talks candidly about being openly bi, his adventures in Grindr land, and his personal work on putting quality over quantity when it comes to his sex life.
Ellis says he doesn’t feel very welcome in the community right now. Recalling times when he’s told men he’s had sex with that he’s married to a woman, he gets responses like “it’s just a phase” and “you’ll eventually be gay.”
But he says he’s clear on who he is. “Ask my wife,” he told Outsports in a recent interview. “I’m trying to have sex with her all the time. She’s not my beard. And I love having sex with guys too.”
Sometimes, he says guys call him ‘straight,’ which he finds confusing. “I’m standing next to you with my pants off. How straight could I be?”
The radio host makes a point of saying that he doesn’t want his inclusion in the community to be merely sexual. “I want LGBTQ friends,” he says adding “After all, ‘B’ is the third letter listed!”
The Aussie admits the heterosexual community doesn’t do much better in welcoming bisexual men: “Watch any straight porn and a bi scene between two chicks is de rigueur, but it rarely happens between the men.”
Ellis told Outsports that the phone lines on his SiriusXM radio show (where he’s often talked about his sexcapades in the past) go quiet when he talks about the LGBTQ aspect of his life like going to gay sex clubs: “Nobody wants to talk about that.”
That reaction led him to venture into podcasting where he’s noticed more support and a different kind of crowd that just “guys in their cars.”
On the topic of bisexuality, it’s worth noting that a 2018 report from Gallup showed that the estimate of LGBT people in the U.S. increased to 4.5 percent in 2017, and a huge number of those folks are bisexual.
According to the Williams Institute, studies suggest that about 50 percent of people who say they are either gay, lesbian or bisexual, identify as bisexual, making them the single largest group within the LGBTQ community.
Ellis says in writing about his sexuality, he’s looking for “pity,” but perhaps some empathy. And to raise awareness on the reality of bisexuality.
“I would like to be part of the community,” he writes. “The ‘B’ was put there for a reason. And if you’re going to use it, then I ask the community to make more of an effort to find people like me and include us in the community and at your events.”
“Too many of us long to be in a community that will have us,” says the 48-year-old. “Please be a little more welcoming, show us a little encouragement, and for fuck’s sake, believe me when I tell you I am equally attracted to men and women.”
Acknowledging his tatted-up appearance might look “a little different,” he offers, “I clean up nicely and work really hard to be charming.”