Men Are Gay Because Of Their Dads. Women Are Lesbians Because Men Want Them To Be.

Is being gay so easily explained? Is it as simple as listening to Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" on repeat?

When I was growing up, I thought that I could be gay because of my poor relationship with my father.  Was I searching for male appreciation and love, the stuff that I never received from my father?  Later I knew that the poor relationship was there because I was gay and did not do the things he expected his son to do. I was not sports inclined and was more artistic. I was the student mentioned in the yearbook the most, won the most awards at graduation, am an Eagle Scout, and was an all around great student and citizen growing up.  I'm not bragging about those things now or then, but I guess I should have so my father would have noticed I was successful, even though it wasn't at sports.

I think many of us have had that "which came first, the gay or the lack of love from my father." I think it is a common belief, but is it true?  There is no 100% answer as to the question why we love who we love, but a recent posting from a South African woman and a study from the University of Cyprus are trying to answer why we are all happy and gay.

Gretha Wiid’s claim that homosexuality is a developmental aberration caused by an unloving father, which can be cured if caught in time, has gone viral.

Wiid is a popular public speaker, lay preacher and relationship ‘expert’ in the Afrikaans community and has been described as a female version of controversial preacher Angus Buchan.

This week, a Facebook post highlighting a section in one of Wiid’s books advising parents on homosexuality outraged the LGBTQ community. In it, she writes:

“Some say that gay people are born gay. That’s something I disagree with. I believe with my whole heart that God made men and women to love each other…”

Wiid goes on to outline the bizarre theory that homosexuality comes about because young boys are not loved by their fathers or are beaten and treated badly and thus develop feelings of hurt and pain towards other men.

“They will therefore not want to be like men who prove their masculinity through muscles and strength. These boys also withdraw from the group (and don’t want to be part of the boys’ group at school). Many of these boys feel that they are different and believe at the end of the day that they are gay.”

Wiid explains further: “I believe with my whole heart that such boys could one day be wonderful husbands to their wives, but they did not speak to someone about these things in time – before it is too late.”

She also writes that some boys are teased by other children “because they play the piano or chess and don’t like things like rugby. They begin to call these boy moffies (faggots) from an early age…”

She also endorses Buchan’s view that through prayer, gay people can be converted to heterosexuality. The book excerpt indicates that she supports these interventions among LGBTQ youth. –

So the ONLY reason boys are gay is because they did not receive love from their father?  LGBT groups in South Africa have asked for Wiid to apologize to the gay community for such backwards thinking.

But a study from a university should be more grounded, no? Here's the attempt to figure out why women have evolved to be lesbians.

Lesbianism Evolved Because Men Fancy Gay Women

Not all scientists are convinced – men's preference for it could come from watching a lot of porn.

Homosexuality in women evolved because it's a turn on for men, a controversial scientific paper has claimed.

It's estimated that about 15% of women are homosexual or bisexual. Exactly why so many women experience attraction to one another was a puzzle for Menelaos Apostolou at the University of Nicosia in Cyprus.

"Why does same-sex attraction happen in women, why did it evolve, and does it serve some purpose? A lot of men indicate a desire to have a partner who also experiences same-sex attraction," Apostolou told IBTimes UK.

According to a study by Apostolou, about 15% of heterosexual men in long-term relationships say that they would want their partner to have a sexual encounter with another woman. This figure goes up to about 30% of men in short-term relationships, according to the study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. The figures for heterosexual women who found same-sex attraction a turn on in their male partners were much lower in both types of relationship.

The male penchant for women who have sex with women drove the evolution of homosexuality in women, Apostolou argues. Men would chose female partners who experienced same-sex attraction, so those women would be more likely to have children with the men, leading to the evolutionary success of the trait, he says.

To say the least, the theory has been called a bit of a stretch. –

Now we can thank the porn industry for having too much women on women action, therefore causing the evolution of women into lesbians.

Are these just two cases of "Pray the Gay Away" and "Explain the Gay Away?" The big difference is Wiid is saying homosexuality in men can be stopped where as the Cyprus study is just trying to figure out evolution.

I think we may just need to put Gaga on repeat, move on, and stop asking why.

What are your thoughts?

Head over to and for more coverage on Wiid and the Cyprus study.

One explanation to why we are gay that I think is very thought provoking was A Must See TEDxTalk Addresses Why We Are Born Gay. 'Homosexuality: It's About Survival – Not Sex.'  I've watched this a couple of times and think it is very interesting.




4 thoughts on “Men Are Gay Because Of Their Dads. Women Are Lesbians Because Men Want Them To Be.”

  1. Gretha is a very stupid woman

    Gretha is a very stupid woman and this kind of stupidity and mental laziness should be socially criticised.
    Conflating sexual orientation with gender expression is something only lazy people do, especially people who have an agenda to monopolise, for example, masculinity.

    Remember Grecian times? Homosexual men were considered masculine and they conceptualised a lot of what we call masculinity ranging from moral ideals to affinity to activities deemed masculine such as sports or the military. What people like her tries to dissociate from homosexual men is actually very much homosexual in origin.

    Sexual orientation is an inborn trait. Many heterosexual men hav grown up without a father and till love women. Many heterosexual men are effeminate and still love women.

  2. Seems to overlook those of us

    Seems to overlook those of us who both played sports….were tough enough to win a fight but still enjoyed music and art. I've had relationships with women and relationships with men. My father never pushed me toward any sports nor did he need to..and was in fact the main influence in my interest in art and music. I ended up after years of dating women, in a long term relationship with a man..and now raising my own children. I think we all just have our own pathways to who we choose to share our life with. You can't describe human sexuality into neat little boxes .


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