Cruising was something that we did in person before technology took over our lives. Now getting woofed at on Scruff or tapped on Grindr by a hot dude is sadly sort of equivalent to making eye contact with that guy at the bar that you wanted to go home with.
Is that pathetic? To some, yes, but this is a dating/hook-up machine that isn’t stopping anytime soon as our culture continues to change.
Cruising in real life (IRL – meaning in person), at least to me, is still alive and thriving for the most part. It’s something that is exciting for anyone who enters this community and continues to stay in it for as long as possible. This doesn’t pertain to being super creepy when desiring another individual. It’s about reaching your goal of connecting with a guy and mutually getting what you want out of the situation. This can be anything from a hot night of sex to a long-term relationship, but there must be a starting point.
Here are five fantastic ways to cruise guys in 2019 and beyond. Take these steps in a serious or funny way, but they are more than likely going to work. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy.
EYE CONTACT – Cruising IRL and Scanning apps ain’t the same.
Apps don’t really make sense when it comes to what cruising is, no matter how big each of the ones we use get. It’s a form of instant validation from a photo of a person when the IRL (in real life) experience is that much better.
Looking into the eyes of a pic on a screen does not compare to the reward of when you take that risk and make eye contact with the man you’re seeking to get to know. Don’t have a stare down, but give good glances. When you make that initial eye contact, count to about 3 or 5 and look away, not 30 or 50. Three to five seconds is both a short and a long time and it’s enough to time to inhale and exhale and feel him out visually to see if he responds with a smirk, smile, or a look of panic. Two out of three means you can move on in a positive fashion.
APPROACH – This goes for social media as well.
Saying you met a guy by poking them on Facebook will never sound cool. Ever. If you’ve poked him IRL with your eyes and there seems to be a positive vibe, break the barrier and approach and say hello. Save the cheesy lines for Snapper and Twitchat. Say hello. Is it that hard? Try it now. H-E-L-L-O. And seriously, why are we using the Tapped and Woof features. It’s pretty easy to type “how are you, chat?”
FLAUNT – Use your best moves when cruising the individual (or individuals) you desire.
What makes you special? Is it your eyes? Your smile? Your body? Your eggplant/peach? Use what you got… in the right way. Make the connection with what makes you unique. If it is your eyes, make more of that eye contact. If it’s the peach… you know that napkin everyone gets with a drink? Use it for your version of the Legally Blond bend and snap. The eggplant? Go cowboy on us and touch the belt buckle or put a thumb through a front belt loop. Take some risks. Touch your abs or belly, smooth your beard out. Have fun.
SMELL – Make sure you have the right scent.
I have known men who have liked cologne and ones that hated it on a guy. Some enjoy guys that smell like they just came out of the shower and others with something a little more golden. Find what you think works best in the environment you’re in. Looks go far, but scent could make or break a cruising situation. Smells don’t work online, sorry.
FOLLOW THRU – Stick with the situation if you feel like it’s right.
If you made that eye contact early on and did the approach and all was well, keep going and return if you feel it’s going well.
But let’s say it’s all bee from afar all evening, an extended cruising. Let’s say you make eye contact a couple of times with the guy and you get a vibe that he’s feeling it too, but the night is long, and things happen (he’s with a group of friends, losing each other on a big dance floor, etc). Stick with it. Find the guy and make that contact again until you both go up to each other and say “Hi.” It’s such an awesome feeling to be desired and wanted and this situation is the perfect example of that.
This is the opinion of one contributing writer and not that of Instinct Magazine or other Contributing Writers.