The #metoo movement has primarily focused on the women's side of things when it comes to battling sexual harassment and assault in and out of the work place, with the exception of a few instances revolving around gay men in entertainment (Kevin Spacey and Bryan Singer for example.)
This has now trickled its way into the gay porn world, where performer Tegan Zayne has just accused fellow performer Topher DiMaggio of raping him. He spoke about this in a lengthy post on Twitter that highlights an issue in their part of the industry that often goes unnoticed.
Tegan talked about a story that related to a scene they both did for a studio called Cockyboys. According to Tegan, Topher pressured him into having sex the night before the scene while they were sharing the same quarters.
Tegan said that after the incident he felt “belittled and degraded” and “told how I’m such a girl.”
“I’ve seen a lot of stories come out about the metoo thing, but it’s (sic) feels like no one cares about the male victims, or the sex workers. As someone else said “rap doesn’t exist in this line of wrk”, and it couldn’t be more true," Tegan exclaimed.
Topher denies this, as website QueerMeNow (NSFW) reached out to him for comment to which he said "“He’s crazy and twists stories. He was so happy to film with me even the next day. It’s sad. I’m going to give it any attention.”
Full verbiage of Tegan and Topher's alleged encounter below:
Judging by the remarks made
Judging by the remarks made here, some people don't believe TZ. It might've been hard to win a conviction in court by a unanimous jury against TD, had this matter gone to trial.
Some of you people really
Some of you people really fucking need to learn about consent and boundaries!
Look at your ridiculous arguments here "If he said don't cum in me, it means consent" "He said no but then said don't cum in me, so he must have wanted it."
What shit are you guys snorting?
Just because a person doesn't get violent with his refusal doesn't mean he consented!
Do you think if he had punched the other guy that either of them would have been able to shoot? He was there for work and he was being professional, it wasn't personal. When he saw that the other guy isn't taking no for an answer, despite being told that he's not clean, he told the guy to AT LEAST have the decency not to ejaculate in him, ANOTHER thing which was ignored, and which is a whole other can of worms both legally and morally.
IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT CONSENT and he has EVERY right to feel violated.
I would have cum in him. I’m
I would have cum in him. I’m not positive. An on the heat of passion I gonna bussanut.
I honestly could have cared
I honestly could have cared less about Topher before this story, however, I feel it's my responsibility to write about my experience just now, posting my reservations about the accusations on the factually challenged 'str8upgayporn' blog from which these allegations are sourced.
Mine were the only posts which could be considered 'pro-topher' in that I questioned the validity of not only the accusations, but the accusers, and the bizarre nature of the 2 anonymous sources.
All of the comments were INSTANTLY removed from the 'str8upgayporn' blog and my disqus account was banned from ever posting there again.
That and the sloppy manner in which these stories appear to be fabricated, lead me to believe that Zachary Sire, the blogger behind "str8upgayporn' is a liar.
You could have cared less? So
You could have cared less? So you cared some and could have cared less?
I think the phrase you were trying for is "couldn't have cared less" – in that you didn't care at all so couldn't have cared any less.
Have filmed with Topher, and
Have filmed with Topher, and he’s super dominant on and off camera. However, that being said- although he was definitely interested in hooking up without the cameras rolling…he knew where to draw the line if there wasn’t interest / I simply didn’t have the energy for any more sex.
He’s a professional, I’ll speak on Topher’s behalf any day. TZ sounds like another girl trying to get attention with this movement.
Just because you agree to
Just because you agree to having unprotected sex, that doesn't mean that he raped you. I'm all for male victims of rape being taken seriously, but then people like you come along and cry wolf. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. No mean no. No doesn't mean "don't cum in me." If you don't nt want someone cumming in you, then use a condom. Don't go screaming rape just because mutually consensual didn't go your way.
Go look up the law on consent
Go look up the law on consent and sexual assault. If you're verbally told no multiple times for various reasons, or even allowed to penetrate without a condom but specifically told NOT TO EJACULATE INSIDE and you proceed to do so then it is sexual assault because the person has NOT GIVEN YOU THE PERMISSION TO EJACULATE IN THEM. It shouldn't be this hard to understand.
You can actually go to jail for this. What you personally think is for you, not to be enforced on others buddy.
So if a woman being raped by
So if a woman being raped by a man says "don't cum in me," that means she's given consent? No. It just means she doesn't want the guy to cum in her. What's the difference? Is it just because he does porn? He still has the right to say no in his private sexual encounters.
Mr. Zane claims people do not
Mr. Zane claims people do not care about male victims and sex workers. Given all the press Kevin Spacey's atrocities received, I don't think you can say people do not care about male victims. I will say sex workers are not exactly sympathetic for most people, but I don't think that's the case here. As others have mentioned, the story is contradictory.
I’m a very successful top. I
I'm a very successful top. I have sodomized 6 to 7 thousand hot men.I was never very successful at being a top, until I learned to NEVER ask to fuck a guy. Just take their ass if you want it. I have only ever had 2 out of many thousands tell me to stop.
I do not believe your story
I do not believe your story TZ
All these armchair lawyers
All these armchair lawyers and prosecutors.
He states that he said “No”
He states that he said “No” on multiple occasions. Then stated that he told he “don’t cum in me”… details are a bit sketchy in that part of the story but it seem some of the comments are making assumptions about the the ‘ cum’ quote. It may have been said once the assault had already begun taken place and was he was unable to push him off.
I was a victim of sexual assault myself. When I first reported it police, I was big on the details leading up to and after the assault but found it hard to cover the actual assault details. The police officer had to really draw the details out of me, it was very hard to do emotionally and psychologically.
The way he writes about his experience vaguely makes it very difficult to put the events into a narrative that makes sense but I do understand it from personal experience.
Thank you for saying that. I
Thank you for saying that. I hate that in this community you are really assumed to have asked for it regardless of what you say. People don't listen or assume because of who you are.
This does not sound real at
This does not sound real at all
If Tegan Zayne said, “no,”
If Tegan Zayne said, "no," like he claims he did, then it's a clear case of rape. There is no gray area, no wiggle room, nothing more to say. He said "no."
But he didnt want it,ant
But he didnt want it,ant right away goes "dont cum in me"…I guess I dont really bealive that he fight it hard enough
Are you reading a post
Are you reading a post different than the rest of us? Because he clearly mentions that 'it was a repeated dialogue" before saying "don't cum in me" He (and I) assumed that 'at least' was already implied, though clearly, people like you need it spelt out.
He's a porn star, not an author, so forgive him for not using proper punctuation when writing an emotional piece about being violated.
“rap doesn’t exist in this
“rap doesn’t exist in this line of wrk” and "…I’m going to give it any attention.”
Either the writer of this article needs to learn about adding the editing term "(sic)" or he/she needs to learn about spellcheck. (I'm referring to Zayne's use of "rap" – I know "wrk" is textspeak for work – and the missing word "not" in DiMaggio's response.)
Really? That’s what you got
Really? That’s what you got from this story – get a life.
?
I thought the same thing,
I thought the same thing, totally distracting. And yes, noticing this and expecting better from a journalist DOES pull away from the important issue at hand, but that’s the writer’s fault, not the observer’s.
“No” seems to have quickly
"No" seems to have quickly turned to "just don't cum in me." Consent is blurry here and, without other factors (physical intimidation, restraint, etc.) it's hard to make this clear-cut.
In one of a few personal
In one of a few personal experiences I've had with this, I consented to my rapist masturbating next to me because it was clear that putting a full stop to things wasn't an option. Sometimes consent is a tool of damage control when you can't find your way out.
Yes, I have heard of a few
Yes, I have heard of a few smart ways victims have coaxed they’re attackers into safer sex.
One, that included insisting on the attacker using a bread bag when a condom was not available. It made the assault even more uncomfortable but the victim was able to better protect themselves.
It does not imply consent.
Consent is not the absence of
Consent is not the absence of the word "No" but the presence of the word "Yes." And no, implied doesn't count.