I’m the type of gay that doesn’t care for his body style and I am sure I am not alone. So we try to change, become gym bunnies, eat better, wax, and get hair treatments. I remember a time when I was down to a 30-inch waist and broad shoulders with a 46-inch chest. I felt and looked great, or so people told me. I’ve always been a big boy, so my family was shocked to see me fit and trim. Their responses were, “are you okay? are you healthy? feeling well?” Meanwhile, I was getting more attention from the guys that I found desirable: fit, buff, muscular, smooth men. And in turn, that made me happy.
Responsibilities, lives, and schedules change and I am sure I can think of more excuses, but the weight and the waist increased to a current level I’m not happy about. But maybe it’s okay.
Is being a bear more desirable in some towns than others?
Things might be looking up with the tide turning to Bears being more accepted. They even have a dedicated bear hotel wing and bear pool parties at Gay Days Orlando and their own weeks and weekends in places like Provincetown, Ogunquit, Guerneville, Fort Lauderdale and the list keeps growing. Go to any bear site and you will see their yearly calendars are more full and planned out than any circuit boy’s annual list of functions.
One of my current conversations with a guy on, you know, one of those apps was a little eye opening. Something he said made me relook at where I live and maybe what time we live in. He said, “you’re so lucky, Bears run this town.” I was a little shocked to hear this, but I wasn’t about to argue with this sexy young man. He was speaking of Wilton Manors, FL., 2nd in the U.S. for its percentage of gay residents as a proportion of total population (about 14%). I was thinking, sure, there are bear theme nights, and predominantly bear clientele in many of the bars, but running this town? Well clearly he may have been a little skewed since he was talking to me, a bear, and he was attracted to bears, but he may have a point. This is something I need to look into more. Can a gay subsection run a town? Can a town have a predominantly type of gay man residing in it? And could bears be taking over in some towns?
I recently read a commentary by Al Mackay of MAMBA.com where he speaks of Cape Town, South Africa as becoming more bear-centric. He writes …
This is the time for bears. Bears and wolves and otters and all the other animal-themed hair-based gay typologies that I’ve probably never heard of. And even though I’m surprised by how we got here, I am delighted to have arrived. I have always found body hair incredibly hot. Hairy legs and forearms will get any boy a second date. A hairy treasure trail down the stomach sets my heart aflutter, and a hairy chest has the power to make my face flush.
And now, with the unstoppable force of cultural trend, we’re delving ever deeper into the world of body hair. Man-scaping is no longer even a thing. It’s better now not to trim at all – to have thick, wild and luscious pubes, to relish hairy asses. (read full piece here)
He does raise the point of, is being a bearded man with an untrimmed body just a fad the gay community is going through? Or is it the gay culture just finally burning its bra, fighting the stereotype that we all need to wax, live in the gym for 2 hours a day, 8 days a week, and look like Tom Daley.
As for Bears running Wilton Manors, Cape Town, or any other town … is that possible? My opinion is still not formulated. Does your town have a more prominent type of gay man living in it? Would it hurt or help a city to be known as a twink town, bears den, jockville, or circuit boy-city?
To go back to my original question, Is being a bear more desirable in some towns than others? According to some it is, but according to others, like Al Mackay, it may just be a trend.
What is your opinion? Does your town have a predominant type of gay man?
Here's a fun little video that shows that hair is more desirable in this steam room.