When Is It Time To Stop Going Clubbing?
After living in a handful of different LGBTQ neighborhoods in large cities, I’ve witnessed, you know, that guy. He’s of a particular age and is going out to the clubs on a daily basis. We've all seen him, said hello to him during our first visit on the scene, and continue to see him time and time again. I will commend him for his… energy.
Hear me out, I’m speaking as a working professional in his 20s; I can barely handle more than two nights a week of going out to the night clubs! The best advice I've ever received is that spending money at a bar each night is a bad investment. But, what about that guy. Does anyone even know his story? Should we look up to him for continuing the party? Should we harshly judge from the sidelines as we see him roaming around in speedos with a water bottle full of…who knows what?!
According to Curry’s PC World, they have discovered the age when it’s time so stop clubbing. Get ready for this…37 years old.
“37 years old is the magic number. Currys carried out a survey of 5,000 adults and found that 37 percent of participants went as far as saying that it’s “tragic” seeing those out at clubs who are 40 or older. The study also found that 31 years old is the age that many begin to prefer staying in than going out.”
I’m not certain exactly who was surveyed, but the adults gave their reasons for not wanting to binge drink nightly.
“The desire to not be hungover the next day is the main driving force behind staying in. Beyond hangover prevention, other reasons for the preference to stay in include not wanting to get dressed up, find a baby sitter, or get in a cab.”
I understand! First and foremost, hangovers = death. I can't be the only one who feels like they're collapsing the next morning after a long night. Honestly, I’d rather go out on a date than binge drink throughout my week. Otherwise, I’m pretty set with my social circle and prefer to watch Netflix and make a yummy new recipe with my incredible friends. Do people even make friends at bars nowadays or is it just an excuse to find a hook up? I honestly don’t believe I’ve met any of my current or past friends while out at a bar. Have you?
What age do you feel people should stop going to the clubs? Let me know!
Check out the full article here!
There are so many interesting
There are so many interesting subjects to cover!!!! what a waste of time, you owe me 17 years of Netflix.
THIS IS SO STUPID! AND to
THIS IS SO STUPID! AND to instinct mag did you pay him to do this? There are so many other gay outlets for news and info that I don't need you anymore, bye girl!
Hey Bryan, why don’t you
Hey Bryan, why don't you write on something you know something about? There are thousands of "over 35" yo who go out on the weekends. Maybe if you'd stop hanging around persnickety 18-25 twinks and ask those in their 30's to 50's you'd get different results. But where ever I go, there's always an older crowd out with the "boys". And it's not your place to judge if somebody is "tragic" just for going to the clubs on the weekends if they happen to be older than you. Makes you look like judgmental little twink. And us older guys who've been there, done that in the gay world (how many of your friends did you loose to AIDS). Besides, they are the ones who have most if the money. If I were you, I'd edit for content and apologize.
When I was in my 20s and
When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I could go out any night of the week, drink, do all sorts of recreational drugs, and still go to work the next day. But not only does that get harder in your late 30s, it becomes obvious how pointless it all is. But I will admit, I've always had a thing for guys in their 40s or even 50s who you'll see out on occasion, and manage to keep themselves looking good. They are like a rare gem.
This article is tragic and
This article is tragic and ageist.
What I find tragic are
What I find tragic are judgemental pricks who care more about a 40year old in a club than how much of an asshole they're being.
Who actually cares? If you're a decent person and are enjoying yourself, more power to you.
I don’t think it’s about
I don't think it's about judging others. Whether gay or straight, a person who parties (CONSTANTLY) is… probably quite troubled. As another post said here: moderation is key. There's nothing wrong with partying now and then, but if that's ALL YOU DO, that's a little disturbing.
Even more so in this day and age, where NO ONE is friendly at the clubs. I live in LA, so I speak from experience. I've spoken with many people and we generally agree that most people don't even MEET new people there! LOL
i’m 67 and i still go out to
i'm 67 and i still go out to the clubs for the dancing. It's great for aerobic exercise and keeping me limber. If ANY one ever made an aside to me i'd let them know that if it wasn't for we old people that picketed and got arrested for their cause they wouldn't be there right now so "f" off. And, by the way, i am still active-even went to the inauguration demonstration this year! I will be till i die!
As a gay man coming up on 50
As a gay man coming up on 50 years of age, I am constantly told I look 10 years younger. I'm not overweight and I don't have any gray hair. I am Lucky I have not heard any of these comments about my age. I have definitely gotten some strange looks from the guys working the door that check your ID. They look at my age & they give you a once over and it makes you feel bad. When I look around and see people that are my age being treated as if they had a disease I think that's horribly wrong. If you want to go to a bar, a nightclub or a restaurant it is your life and you should do what you want and have fun with the people you came with. If the opinions of other people matter that much then maybe you should stay home. You need to own your own look with confidence. I work in the hospitality industry and many times the experience people have comes from within. You should not rely on other people's opinions like the doorman, the bartender or the other patrons. It's your life, you need to live it and enjoy it without approval from others. Articles like this are stupid. Age is just a number. Many of these awesome gay establishments were not around for people in the 50+ age group 25 years ago. I hope the younger gay guys realize this and embrace gay men of any age and make them feel welcome.
I live in Santa Barbara, CA.
I live in Santa Barbara, CA. LGBTQ are here but no real community. We went out to dinner with my roommate from college in LA and then on to West Hollywood to have some cocktails, and hang out. They are in their late 40's and I crossed over apparently into the Walking Dead age of 50. We have money, confidence, and we were condescended to by the doorman who made a production of carding us. "Wow, how long has it been for you girls?" I was so shocked it must have shown on my face. In the" straight" world we are all 3 respected. So his attitude surprised me. Then he said "OMG you look like a deer in headlights. Don't worry honey you'll be alright." I almost went off on him and caused a scene, after all if you want tot play catty bitch I have a good 30 years head start. I could make him cry in public if I wanted to..one of the perks of age is you learn how fragile people really are. Hopefully it teaches you compassion and you use that knowledge to make sure you DON'T hurt people, but it could easily have been used the other way. I hoped it was just one weasel at the door so I let it go. We found a booth and the waiters were whizzing by. We couldn't get waited on. We were at a bar, not a "club"…it was stylish, didn't have guys in speedos dancing on the table and wasn't packed skin to skin. We just wanted to be in the company of"our people", because we live in pretty "straight" environments. I went to the bar, stood in line with cold hard cash ostentatiously in my hand and when the 2nd kid tried to shove me out of his way as if I didn't exist or matter, I body checked him about 3 feet and the bartender finally took my order. when we finished our drinks and were leaving…the same "bouncer" who didn't seem like he could intimidate and 4 year old said "thanks for coming laaaaadeeeez" and all his minions laughed. For a second I thought about buying the club(something else that comes with age) and turning it into a yogurt shop and how satisfying it would be to see that p-o-s's face when I told him he was fired. Then I remembered. I grew up a long time ago. Ageism in the LGBTQ community is not something new…but it is still pathetic and shallow and plays into the larger stereotype of what it means to be "gay". So does caring what a 20 something ain't-as- pretty as- he-thinks-he-is-spending-his- rent-on-clothes-drugs-and-std-medicine -needing-to-see-daylight-tragically-hip-tasteless-broke-ass princess thinks about-you. Whether he writes "news articles" or got a job as a bouncer. Ok…maybe I am not as "grown-up" as I thought.
Man, sorry to hear about that
Man, sorry to hear about that experience. Apparently there are "older" people on this message board who still defend this "lifestyle" nonetheless. Somehow, they seem to still enjoy this environment.
As others have stated here, I think the key term is moderation (not directed at you, but regarding this lifestyle). I don't think we should outright shame people who go to these places, but I think it's fair to say that if it's ALL you do in your free time, that's pretty sad, too. Only because: there are so many other ways to enjoy your free time. Seriously! LOL
Everyone is allowed to their
Everyone is allowed to their opinions, so as everyone's allowed to do as they please. So before you go out there, just be ready for whatever comes your way, and use your positive energy to influence them youngins and educate them. I do have my days of constant clubbing at a young age, but now not anymore. But once in a while I like to go out and bring my good look the the gay scene. just to see them what attention I get;),and most of them are not bad at all. So to me is a once in a while confidence booster or let them know I'm still exist and still got it;,"it's a therapy for me"
I was blessed with never
I was blessed with never having hangovers when all my friends were drifting the next morning. Though I rarely want more than two drinks I've had my binge moments. Nonetheless, I was at iCandy on Santa Monica Blvd after it just opened. It was a Sat night about 10 and I hadn't been to a gay bar in forever. These two gorgeous 20 somethings were making out in front of me in full view of people passing by on the street though we were just inside. It was a lovely very hot show and I was really enjoying it. The hottest one looked over at me at one point and said "you know, you look like you really need a kiss". And he walked only a few feet over to me and laid one on me, deep. His lover looked eager to do it too, but was a bit shy. And guess what. I was 54. Two and a half times their age.
Moral to the story: if you're there to have a good time and add to the great energy and the hot scenery, yup its true, you're gonna have a good time. And the twenty somethings will love you. Though to me they were way out of my age range. But nonetheless It made me remember, age never blocks true love or intimate organic attraction.
Clubbing obsessed? Like
Clubbing obsessed? Like EVERYTHING moderation is the answer. Obsessive behavior is an indication of a problem, be it career, drugs, alcohol, hobbies, sex, religion, gym, etc.
My story is a bit different.
My story is a bit different.
Just wow. The only “tragic”
Just wow. The only "tragic" thing is that we circulate articles like this in the LGBTQ community as "news". If you need to be drunk or drugged to go out clubbing in your 20's, I'd say that could likewise be judged a tragedy… but I won't be too cruel and judge it so, knowing what most gay people are going through.
If you're 45, like me, and finally saw beyond the drink & drugs and internalised shame enough so you can enjoy clubbing in your 40's (and hopefully beyond), having finally got your shit together and knowing your worth… I'd say that's fabulous. And plenty of 20-somethings I know who are more than puddle-deep think so too.
The additional tragedy is that Bryan Keating's articles are considered "journalism" when they come across more as his own internalised shame. Any real journos want to write actual articles for our community?!
This has very little to do
This has very little to do with journalism and more to do with research. The journalists isn't making the story, they're writing an article based off of a research article. Seems like there is a bit of defensiveness going on.
This is all horseshit and
This is all horseshit and shows how superficially stupid and sad our community treats its own. #verysad
⬆️37 and still going out
⬆️37 and still going out every night
I think it can be either way.
I think it can be either way. I know that I find it incredibly presumptuous when people assume me, a gay man, should go clubbing every weekend. That's just a shallow stereotype. Do you think gay men can't find something more original to do with our free time? Come on.
But on the other hand, it is normal to go to a bar and club occasionally, for any adult—gay or straight. But as this article mentioned, when someone goes frequently (past, say, that traditional "welcome to adulthood!" window of the early 20s), it is a little sad. Not because I think I'm too good to do that, but because I think all humans should find something more meaningful to do with their time than hang out under fluorescent lights and be ignored—cuz let's face it: in 2017, no one talks to each other at clubs or bars anymore. It's more of a place to just go with friends and leave with friends lol.
In conclusion, I don't know: a balanced lifestyle when it comes to this kind of activity is probably ideal for anyone, versus the extreme of being a club bunny. Most people I know outgrew the scene by their late 20s, early 30s at the latest—and we are so grateful for we did, for all the reasons above 🙂
I never went out clubbing and
I never went out clubbing and to any raves until I was 38, 5 years ago..when I started hanging out with this boy my sister introduced me to. Since then the times I’ve been to Space in Miami there’s a quite a lot of professional people in their 40’s dancing and partying Saturday night till Sunday afternoon. It’s not cheap! $100 cover plus drinks or drugs of choice. I look much younger but that’s because I never drank much, did any drugs or party when I was younger!
I’m a Texas guy born and
I'm a Texas guy born and raised and I'm not sure I believe this. I understand that the survey did happen but in the south I believe it is very different. I grew up with my family going off for nights out on the town, dancing, drinking, galavanting until all hours and to be honest they still do it including my grandfather. But there's a huge difference between going out drinking, dancing, and socializing vs binge drinking. My words are live your life, and for real if you have nothing better to do than to judge who's standing in the bar as much as you because you obviously know they are there than perhaps take a look at your own self.
NONSENSE! If you look hot
NONSENSE! If you look hot enough and like you're interested and belong there you can be much older.
If you're older than a twink and you look like a tourist not like somebody who belongs you're too old
If you're 26 and you're worried that your looks are fading and it shows in your face you're getting too old for clubs
It’s an individual decision.
It's an individual decision. However, critics will always exist. I say, live and let live. Whether naturally or gracefully or not, we all age, it's life.