A recent thread on Reddit’s AskGayBros asked the group’s 300k members to chime in about their first relationship: “What was your first boyfriend like?”
The seemingly simple question received over 500 responses in 2 days and ranged from very sweet to about as bad as you could imagine.
One aspect of the conversation that was interesting was how guys defined a ‘first boyfriend.’ For some it was the first guy they had ongoing sexual interaction with, even if in secret. For others, it was an actual “we are boyfriends” situation.
Predictably, there were the tales of cheating:
• “We started dating when we were both 15 and ended things when we were 19, but he was a bit of a whore and cheated on me too many times to count, so we broke up and got back together endlessly because I loved him and I thought that’s what ‘love’ was. Almost 10 years later I look back on it and while I don’t hate him, I do hate the way it kinda shaped my dating life and my mindset towards relationships.”
• “Oh he was a dream! Hot as fuck, kinda smart, liked anime and manga like I did, was religious like me, loved animals, spectacular in bed, I could go on and on. Too bad he was also a lying, manipulative scumbag that openly mocked me and cheated on me anytime he could, and was obsessed with himself.”
For some, it was a case of “it’s you, not me:”
• “He was super sweet and attentive for the first 6 weeks, but slowly became distant for what to me seemed like no reason. Later, after being strung along through 4 months, he tells me he felt guilty because of his Catholic teachings, so he told me he couldn’t be my boyfriend anymore.”
• “Closet case who broke things off after I came out because he worried that being seen with a gay guy would make other people realize he was gay too… but I think everyone already knew from the time he got blond highlights during junior year.”
• “He was and is still a nice guy. But, at the time he wanted to be a priest and had a lot of insecurity. So he dumped me to go explore that. He’s an atheist now.”
• “He is/was good guy, we are still friends to this day…We were same age (14) and dated about a year. He was my first love, we took each others virginity, but we stopped dating because he didn’t not want to commit or a serious relationship.”
A few shared that the mental/emotional aspects didn’t live up to the initial physical attraction:
• “Some mental health issues. Big d*ck. We stayed together for 3 months.”
• “I stayed with him for a year because I was sad and young and he was this hot guy who was the first to show me the slightest sign of interest. Took me a long time to finally have enough self respect to walk away.”
• “Had a body to die for, was an excellent cook, an even better barber, but extremely immature.”
• “He was gorgeous and dashing to start with. Tall, dark, very handsome, had a six-pack without doing any gym-work, very clever. We had an amazing first year or two of our relationship. A few years later, I left him. He’d become so toxic and focused on being mentally unwell and having a psychiatric condition that it nearly ruined me.”
On the other side of the emotional spectrum, many said they are still going strong with their first bf:
• “He’s great. Still dating him now.”
• “We met 7 years ago in high school, and we’re still dating.”
• “My first boyfriend, not f*ck buddy, is now my husband. Sweet and kind. Challenges and supports me.”
• “He’s the man of my dreams. We’ve been together for 5 years now and planning to marry one day.”
One commenter, like many, shared that they didn’t have regrets about their previous boyfriends “because I learned what I want and needed from a partner through them.”
How about you, readers? Was your first boyfriend what you hoped? Or was it a nope? Let us know in the comment section.
You can read the full thread of responses over at Reddit’s AskGayBros here.