2021 And Rainbow Inclusivity Is A Freaking Joke. We’re All Guilty

We’ve all been to a party when we look up and see that most attendees fit into one demographic.  May it be the muscle boys, the bears, the artistic crowd, BIPOC, and the all white. Then we see the pictures fly across the internet as a comical yet sad meme where there’s a token this, that, or the other that got caught in a phot op. Please,  believe me, I know. I’m usually the fat bear among the skinny pretty men listening to them on occasion make a fat joke as I stand right there. But I guess since I am a friend, they don’t see me as one of the obese men they speak of. Another story, another time, but we’ve all been there, the not so small fly on the wall.  Why do we go to those parties?  Why do we attend if we know we are going to be the odd man out?

Parties happen and parties are planned and people come. Pre-pandemic, I talked to a successful party planner from Chicago that has planned many LGBTQ events in Southern Florida.  #Inclusion, #Equality, #Diversity, #Byanymeansnecessary, #blacklivesmatter, #BlackLGBTQLIVESMATTER are the hashtags he always uses. I asked him, do you go after a black crowd when you advertise.  Do you say these are “all-black” events.  He said no, but they usually end up that way.  They know who I am and they see my ads and it resonates with a certain crowd more than others.  I attended one of his events and yes, I was one of the few white people there. It was just a couple of miles drive away from Wilton Manors. The demographic differences were very noticeable as the night went on and the place became packed. It was a great time. Yes, I did receive some looks for being one of the very few white men there but the organizer insisted that I stay and I would not be alone. 

So we go sometimes where we do not fit in.  Even though it is promoted as an LGBTQ party, just by being one of those letters, doesn’t mean you will always be as welcome as one of the other demographics of the alphabet mafia.  I remember going for a hot second to a Lesbian party during Tel Aviv Pride.  We were just there as reporters to peak our head in to see the attendance, but if looks could kill …  


I do understand the only female party and not desiring men to attend.  I gayed up seeing that occur in Ogunquit, Maine as Mainestreet Bar was rented out once a month for a women’s tea dance.  Men knew it was a woman’s space. Some would attend, but the dancefloor was an unspoken space for just women.  And we were all fine with that.  Many women disliked the cover charge that they had to pay for the tea dance, usually 3 to 9ish, but the space was rented out for such an event.  DJ, bartenders, and security needed to be paid as the bar was not supplying those items and the space needed to be rented, too. 

All are welcome or should be.  If a cover is needed, we all pay. Well, unless you are old or if you are white. 

Recall back in 2015 when the Impulse group decided to charge men over 40 an entrance fee? “Impulse Group Accused Of Age Discrimination”  I had remembered this as I had just turned 40 and was living in Fort Lauderdale.   Comments like – “In other words, old bitches pay now! You want to hang with twinks, sugar daddy is going to have to pay up”  seem to be the popular sentiment while others cried discrimination.  

Impulse – The South Florida Chapter of an International Organization dedicated to the advancement of Same Sex awareness, prevention and practice among young, sexually active gay men. A Group comprised of all volunteer, dedicated and driven gay men working together to bring South Florida provocative, thought provoking, and impactful messaging, marketing and events. 
That’s in the past, I lost respect for the group back then like I am sure many have and that is that. My funding will go elsewhere and I am sure they are not missing it. 
Another party was held this past weekend where, instead of if you are 40-years or older you have to pay, the entrance fee was based on the color of your skin. 
The safety of Black and Brown Trans and Queer folks is PARAMOUNT and we will make sure the safety of our community is prioritized at all times.
White allies and accomplices are welcome to attend, but will be charged a $10 to $50 reparations fee (and given a wrist band as proof of payment) that will be used to keep this event free of cost for BLACK AND BROWN Trans and Queer COMMUNITY but to also ensure that performers can be paid well. **** – facebook statement Trans Women of Color Solidarity Network
All are free to attend, whites need to pay reparations fees.  I think they may be sending a mixed message. Capitol Hill Pride was confused and released this letter/statement/question to the City of Seattle:
What are your thoughts on this?  Seems like the Seattle Human Rights Commission basically stated that there is no issue, stfu, and don’t attend if you don’t want to.  They for some reason were focusing on Capitol Hill Pride looking for a free ticket, when they were looking at why are white people being charged. Their snarky response about why shouldn’t there be a free place for BIPOC LGBTQ people be supplied, when that was not the issue.  Seattle HRC failed. 
Where do we go from here? Do we go and say sure!  I’m an old white male so I will pay for this party in Florida and that party in Seattle. One pays for HIV testing and the other pays for the music and talent since no one else is paying. Remember … White allies and accomplices are welcome to attend, but will be charged a $10 to $50 reparations fee (and given a wrist band as proof of payment) that will be used to keep this event free of cost for BLACK AND BROWN Trans and Queer COMMUNITY but to also ensure that performers can be paid well. ****  If you wanted them to be paid well, why would you call an entrance fee a name that is tied to slavery and only white people that want to associate themselves with reparations want to attend?
One person asked about passing attendees.  Here is some of the Facebook chatter. 
So it seems organizers are desiring this to be a social experiment or showing as to how BIPOC and trans black women have been treated now and forever.  It is the group’s choice to do so, it is their choice to try to show discrimination. And it is our choice to not go and be told to stfu.
I guess I am still about inclusivity at pride and not exclusion.  I am about pride being a celebration and learning our history of our fight.  I’m about teaching people that Marsha P. Johnson was not even at Stonewall was lit ablaze with police officers in it, but yet a gun toting mixed race lesbian started it all. I guess charging white people a reparations entrance fee is one way we can educate about economics, exclusion, and discrimination.  It would not be the way I would choose to move our community forward, but alas, choices. 
As I said at the beginning … We’ve all been to a party when we look up and see that most attendees fit into one demographic. Now we are being told before we come into the event that we are different and why and how different we are and we should be ashamed. 
Charge for older, charge for skin color. Let’s continue to be divisive and not inclusive. And, yes, we all have so far to go as we covered in … 
This is the opinion of this contributing writer and may not reflect the opinion of other writers or the magazine. 

12 thoughts on “2021 And Rainbow Inclusivity Is A Freaking Joke. We’re All Guilty”

  1. A picture at an event can’t include ALL DIVERSE TYPES of people if those diverse types of people don’t bother to show the hell up.

    And charging White people a “reparations” admission fee to a FREE event……could get your organization body-slammed into a lawsuit since that’s basically as illegal as shit.

  2. All you entitled cry baby bitches need to learn. You’re just upset because another group gets something for free, looking at some of your response, you would be happy with the continue discrimination that comes towards Gay men of Color, your attitudes are absolutely ridiculous.

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  4. I hope no one shows up. Vote with your feet.
    How many before us have sacrificed so much in the name of love, acceptance, inclusion and unity. I hope the world knows that no everyone that is gay believes this ridiculousness.
    Do do not accomplish unity with division and you do not spread love by sowing hate.
    You do not actually make progress for humanity by tearing some down. Let’s build everyone up… EVERYONE.

  5. What a mess the world is and I find it has NOTHING to do with conservatives. The far left is the most AWFUL and hateful thing I have seen in my 46 years. I feel more welcomed at a Republican convention at this point than the gay blm feminist anti israel full of hate ABCDEFGHI mafia that it has become in the last couple years. Unreal of the racism against whites and total lack of brains and logic ALL of this 4th grade crap is becoming. All the rules and goalposts of what is acceptable and who to hate and what words you can and can not use and who is canceled and blah blah blah. It is like frickin Germany or North Korea. Count me OUT! I literally am about to become a Republican. There is ZERO common sense on these libs anymore and they are addicted to outrage and rules that are looney and suffocating. NO THANKS!

    • You can be upset with the Far Left, but if things are so bad you are “considering” becoming a Republican, I can only assume you weren’t very Liberal to begin with.
      If you don’t like the Far Left, how can you possibly justify the Radical Conservatives who own the Republican Party?
      I am not a big fan of Ultra Far Left either, but I will never join a party that wants to outlaw my existence.

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  7. I ask my POC friends about this because I didn’t understand the concept. Im glad I did because their explanation makes sense. According to them, this is the result of years of discrimination and erasure from what is viewed as an “inclusive” community. Being excluded and forgotten in spaces is a daily occurrence for most of them and I can only imagine that some of them are fed up with the lip service and just want to make a point. I personally disagree with the charge but I understand the how and the why.

  8. A group of political radicals is infiltrating the entire spectrum of the gay community. We are seeing this in the NYC Police Dept ban and the ban on Gay cops. This radicalism is completely different from ACT UP. ACT UP stood up against indifference to the exploding AIDS epidemic within all levels of United Government. These new radicals are setting different groups of LGBTIA+ community against each other. They are preaching intolerance. Disunited. Exclusion. It is a poisonous strain in the LGBTIA+ Community.

  9. Honestly thank goodness someone is saying it!! I dare not post my opinion on social media, I would be cancelled, but this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I won’t be attending AT all. Stupid people I swear…

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  11. I feel charging a fee based on being white is reverse racism. That’s one of the problems in this country. It’s OK to look down on people when your the one benefiting from it. Shame!

    • Let them have their black party and charge if they want to. But every other white owned gay bar should charge black people only then as well. How fucking stupid! What’s next, blacks will have to use their own bathrooms? Whoever came up with this idea should be shunned by the LGBT community.


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