The right toy can change the rhythm of sex completely. It can make things feel more playful, more intense, or just less predictable in the best way. For gay couples, the best sex toys are the ones that actually fit how we have sex, not just whatever gets tossed into a generic “for couples” category.
Some toys are great for shared control, some work better for prostate play, and some are really about building tension before sex even starts. What matters most is choosing something that feels good in real life, is easy to use, and does not kill the mood with bad design, weak power, or annoying cleanup.
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Product Name |
Primary Tech |
Waterproof Rating |
Power Source |
Key Feature |
|
SenseMotion |
IPX7 Fully Waterproof |
Li-Ion 420 mAh |
12-Meter Remote Range |
|
|
Teledildonic Sync/10 Internal Rings |
Splashproof |
Rechargeable |
FeelConnect App + 140 Strokes Per Minute |
|
|
Removable Bullet |
Fully Waterproof |
1x AAA Battery |
3.5-Inch Insertable Length |
|
|
Air-Pulse Vacuum |
IPX7 Fully Waterproof |
USB Rechargeable |
15 Vibration/Suction Modes |
|
|
Low-Melt Wax |
N/A |
Cotton Wick |
Jojoba & Soybean Formulation |
As a gay man, the LELO Hugo 2 Remote is one of the few couples toys that actually feels built for the way my partner and I play. The big draw is the SenseMotion remote, which lets him change the intensity just by tilting it, so the control feels immediate instead of clunky. That hands-free setup works especially well during penetrative sex, but it is just as fun when I use it solo.
The remote works from up to 12 meters away, which gives it more flexibility than most couple-focused toys. It is easy to use across the room, and it adds a control dynamic that feels sexy without being overcomplicated.
I liked that my partner could control all eight pleasure settings from across the room without interrupting the moment. Those settings are powered by a rechargeable Li-Ion 420 mAh battery, which is designed to maintain full power during stronger vibration modes. It is also fully waterproof, so I could use it in the bath or shower without worrying about damage.
The whole toy is covered in body-safe silicone, and that smooth finish made it feel comfortable whether I wore it for a longer session or just used it briefly. I also appreciated the focus on material safety, especially for something designed to target internal erogenous zones. Inside, the ABS plastic structure helps the toy hold its shape under pressure, which makes it feel secure and well-made in use. More importantly, it does not feel like a toy you have to awkwardly repurpose for two men. It already makes sense for prostate play, shared control, and partnered sex.
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The Kiiroo Onyx+ Couple Set makes the most sense for long-distance couples who want something more interactive than texting and wishful thinking. It pairs a male masturbator with a partner-controlled stimulator, and when the app works well, the whole setup feels much more connected than a typical solo toy. The Onyx+ can reach up to 140 strokes per minute, so it does not just feel gimmicky — it actually has enough power to keep up.
What really drives that sensation is the set of 10 internal rings inside the Onyx+, which move vertically to create a stroking effect. Those rings react directly to the touch-sensitive pads on the partner’s device, so the whole experience feels more interactive than a standard masturbator. The Pearl2+ has a curved shape with three raised bumps designed for targeted stimulation. Both devices are made from a combination of ABS plastic and TPE, which helps create a more realistic internal texture. I also like that the internal sleeves are removable, because that makes cleanup much easier and keeps hygiene from becoming a hassle after use.
What works best here is that it turns distance into part of the experience instead of just a limitation.Because the system is app controlled, one partner can adjust the other’s intensity levels from anywhere in the world. It makes solo play feel shared, which is really the whole point of a setup like this. Unlike a basic dildo or a simple bullet vibrator, this setup creates interactive stimulation that actually follows your partner’s pace. The fact that it comes with two USB charging cables also makes it easier to keep both devices powered and ready for an unexpected date night.
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What to Know
For beginner anal toys, safety and size matter more than anything else, and that is exactly where the Lovehoney Butt Tingler gets it right. The T-shaped flared base acts as a stopper during deeper penetration, which is essential for anal play. Inside, it has a removable bullet vibrator powered by one AAA battery. That bullet offers three speeds and seven patterns, giving a total of 10 vibration functions. I also like that the bullet can be removed and used separately for clitoral stimulation or nipple play, which makes it more versatile than it first appears.
The body-safe silicone has a manageable texture that feels approachable, especially for beginners. With an insertable length of 3.5 inches, it is a very reasonable option for anyone exploring anal play for the first time.
That slimmer profile is one of its biggest strengths, because beginners usually need something that feels manageable, not intimidating. It is fully waterproof and submersible, so cleanup with warm water is easy. The extra guarantee is also a nice bonus if you are still figuring out what kind of anal toy feels right for you.
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The One Suction Stroker feels more playful than a standard masturbator, mostly because the transparent sleeve makes the mechanics part of the experience instead of hiding them. Its mechanics are powered by air-pulse technology that creates a vacuum-like suction, and that suction focuses on the head of the penis through 10 different suction modes. On top of that, there are dual vibrating bullet motors on the sides that add stimulation along the shaft.
Inside, the sleeve has a ribbed texture that increases friction. The warm-up feature also helps, because it keeps the toy from feeling cold or overly mechanical. The IPX7 waterproof rating means it can be used in the shower or bath, which definitely adds flexibility. Battery-wise, it gives 80 minutes of play after a 180-minute charge using the included magnetic USB cable. The body-safe materials are another plus, especially if you are using it regularly.
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The Maude Burn Candle No 1 is less about intensity and more about setting the tone, which is exactly why it earns a place here. The fragrance profile sets the mood with amber and cedar leaf notes, and the candle itself is hand-poured with a soy-based formula. Once melted, the wax becomes a skin-softening oil made with jojoba and apricot oils.
It is also enriched with shea butter, aloe vera, and vitamin E, so it nourishes the skin on contact. Because the melting point is low, the oil is safe to apply directly to the skin without causing burns or discomfort. The candle uses a 100% cotton, lead-free wick and has a 30-hour burn time.
What I like most is that it changes the mood of the room without feeling cheesy or overly staged. Turning a scented candle into a massage oil naturally encourages connection and foreplay. Used well, it feels like part of foreplay instead of just a background atmosphere. The reusable glass jar holds 4 ounces of vegan and cruelty-free product. It is also cleaner and more sensual than a lot of standard massage products that feel overly slippery or clinical.
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What to Know
When I evaluate a sex toy, I always come back to the same basics: how it feels, how easy it is to use, how loud it is, how well it is made, and how annoying it is to clean. Those things matter a lot more to me than flashy product copy or overdesigned features that sound better on the box than they do in bed.
My testing is hands-on, and I pay attention to how a toy actually performs in real situations, not just how it is marketed. I also research Trustpilot scores and Reddit threads to get a better sense of long-term reliability from people who have actually used these products. That matters to me because I only want to recommend toys I would genuinely use myself.
When I evaluate a sex toy, I always come back to the same basics: how it feels, how easy it is to use, how loud it is, how well it is made, and how annoying it is to clean. Those things matter a lot more to me than flashy product copy or overdesigned features that sound better on the box than they do in bed. That kind of practical thinking is also part of the larger shift in sexual wellness trends, where comfort, communication, and better product choices matter more than ever.
Body-safe materials are one of the first things I check, because there is no reason to compromise on safety. I recommend sex toys made from silicone or stainless steel to help avoid harmful chemicals. Medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass are my preferred materials because they are non-porous.
That matters because non-porous materials are easier to clean and do not trap bacteria over time. For me, that is the baseline. If a toy is going anywhere near sensitive skin, the material needs to be safe and easy to clean. ABS plastic is also common in high-quality toys, and I value it for its durability. What I avoid completely are toys made with phthalates or porous “jelly” materials. I do not think body safety is optional in this category.
I always want adjustable settings because different bodies respond to different kinds of stimulation. Adjustable vibration modes and intensity levels make a real difference. I look for motors that produce deep, rumbly vibrations rather than thin, buzzy ones.
Deep vibrations travel further into the body, and in my experience they are generally more satisfying for prostate stimulation. Variety matters too, especially during longer sessions, because one steady speed gets boring fast. When I test toys, I also measure the maximum decibel output to make sure they offer some discretion. Intensity levels need to be easy to adjust in the moment, especially during sex. Good pattern variety makes a toy easier to come back to.
I almost always prefer rechargeable toys over battery-powered ones. Running out of power in the middle of sex is an easy way to kill the mood, so rechargeable toys almost always make more sense. They also tend to provide steadier, longer-lasting performance, which I value a lot.
I test actual runtime against the manufacturer’s claims because I want to know whether the numbers are honest. Quick-charging features are a huge plus for spontaneous couples. USB charging has become the standard for good reason: it is practical, portable, and easier to live with. They are also just easier to live with long-term. For me, power consistency is part of what makes a toy truly reliable.
Gay couples usually need toys that actually make sense for male anatomy and the kinds of sex we are having. That can mean prostate massagers, anal toys, strokers, cock rings, or anything that adds useful internal or external stimulation without feeling like it was written for someone else and awkwardly repackaged for us.
I focus on versatility, comfort, and ease of use for both partners. Whether it is solo play or partnered play, the right toy can completely change the experience. What matters to me is whether a toy feels good, fits the body well, and actually works in the context of gay sex.
Vibrating cock rings are made to be worn at the base of the penis or dildo. They are popular because they can add stimulation for both partners at once without making sex feel overly technical. For the wearer, the ring may help maintain erection strength by restricting blood flow.
For the receiving partner, the vibrating section can rest against the perineum or other sensitive external areas. That shared stimulation is exactly why cock rings remain one of the most popular toys for couples. They are often made from stretchy silicone, which helps them fit a range of sizes. That mix of support and shared sensation is really the appeal.
Strap-ons usually include a harness and a dildo, allowing one partner to take on a penetrative role. They make the most sense for couples who want to play with control, fantasy, or a different kind of penetrative dynamic. A high-quality harness should be adjustable and secure enough to work well on different bodies.
Dildos made for couples are often silicone, which gives them a more realistic feel and makes cleanup easier. This kind of play is popular for pegging-style dynamics, role reversal, and other forms of penetration. Used well, it can shift the whole dynamic in an interesting way. Power play and penetration are really the focus here.
Anal play always requires toys with a flared base, because safety has to come first. That base helps prevent the toy from getting lost during use. Butt plugs and anal vibrators are designed to stimulate the nerve endings around the anus and prostate. If pain, numbness, irritation, or bleeding happens, I think the right move is to stop immediately and reassess the size, material, lubricant, and technique being used.
I also think anal play should always involve plenty of water-based lube. That makes things more comfortable and helps protect delicate tissue. Good prep, enough lube, and clear communication make anal play much more comfortable and much more fun.
If you want a more practical breakdown of prep, pacing, and comfort, our guide to anal sex covers the basics in a way that actually feels useful.
Wand vibrators are known for their power and their larger stimulation heads. Even a smaller external vibrator can be used on different erogenous zones across either partner’s body. That can include the inner thighs, nipples, and perineum. I think wands work especially well for external stimulation because they cover more surface area than many smaller toys.
A lot of modern wands are rechargeable and fully waterproof, which makes them easier to clean and more convenient overall. They deliver strong vibrations that can build into very intense orgasms. Used with a partner, a wand can be great for teasing, edging, or exploring external pleasure points without overthinking it. The big advantage is simple: power and coverage.
Sex toys can absolutely be safe for beginners when they are used with communication and the right materials. Starting with a smaller vibrator can make the introduction feel less intimidating for both partners. I think it is important that both people feel comfortable and fully on the same page before anything starts.
Even reading the instructions together can make the process feel easier and more relaxed. Beginners should focus on body-safe silicone and water-based lubricants. Trying different types of toys can help couples figure out what they enjoy most. For me, communication is always the foundation of safe play.
Taking proper care of sex toys is essential if you want them to stay safe and hygienic. Most silicone toys can be cleaned with warm water and mild, unscented soap. Some brands also sell specialized toy cleaners for more thorough sanitization. I always make sure a toy is completely dry before storing it in a cool, dark place.
I also avoid silicone-based lubes with silicone toys because they can damage the material. Regular cleaning helps prevent bacteria buildup and extends the life of the toy. Hygiene is one of the core parts of sexual wellness.
Water-based lube is the best choice with silicone toys when comfort and material safety matter. It is easy to wash off, does not usually stain sheets, and works with all materials, including latex and TPE. Silicone-based lubes should be avoided with silicone toys because they can damage the surface over time.
Oil-based lubes can weaken latex condoms and are harder to clean up. Choosing the right lube improves the experience and also protects the toy itself. For me, comfort and material compatibility are the main reasons to stick with water-based options.
Remote-controlled and app-controlled toys make it possible for one partner to control sensations from anywhere. That adds a playful, adventurous element to intimacy for long-distance couples. Toys like the Lovense Lush 4 are designed specifically for that kind of use. They connect through the internet for real-time interaction.
I think that kind of technology can help maintain intimacy when partners are physically apart. Sharing control of a toy can be a powerful way to stay connected. Distance does not have to be a barrier to shared pleasure.
In my experience, yes. Toys can make sex feel more varied, more collaborative, and a lot less predictable in a good way. They can also help couples talk more clearly about what actually feels good instead of falling into the same routine every time.
For me, the best toys are usually the ones that offer either targeted prostate play, strong perineum contact, or well-designed internal and external stimulation. That combination can make a huge difference because different pleasure points respond in different ways. Some men want deep internal pressure, while others respond more to external vibration around the shaft, nipples, taint, or anus. The best choice really depends on anatomy, comfort, and what kind of sensation feels most natural to your body.
Yes, I think toys can be incredibly helpful for anal sex, especially when they are used for warm-up, relaxation, and gradual progression. Butt plugs, anal vibrators, and prostate massagers can help the body ease into penetration more comfortably when paired with enough water-based lube and good communication.
If someone is still figuring out how to make anal feel comfortable, our tips for first time anal sex are a strong place to start. I always think safety matters most here, so I only recommend anal toys with a flared base. When used properly, toys can make anal sex feel smoother, safer, and much more enjoyable.
Definitely. Used well, toys can make oral feel more creative and more intense without taking away the intimacy of it.
A small vibrator, a cock ring, or a toy with multiple vibration patterns can add extra stimulation during blowjob, especially around the shaft, perineum, nipples, or other sensitive areas.
For me, it works best when the toy adds to the moment instead of trying to become the whole event.
Yes, absolutely. I think strap on sex can be a great option for gay men who want to explore power dynamics, role play, or penetrative experiences in a different way. Some couples enjoy using strap-ons for fantasy, control exchange, or simply to change the usual dynamic in bed.
A good harness and a well-made silicone dildo can make the experience feel secure, comfortable, and easy to clean. For me, the appeal is not just penetration, but the different kind of connection and intention it creates.
I think remote-controlled toys can work really well for gay couples, especially if spontaneity and shared control are part of the appeal. Toys with app features or handheld controls, including remote controlled vibrators, can make partnered play feel a lot more interactive.
They are also a strong option for long-distance relationships or for couples who want to experiment with control in different settings. What I like most is that they let one partner control the pace without constantly breaking the flow.
For me, maximum pleasure usually comes down to choosing a toy that matches the type of stimulation I actually enjoy instead of just buying whatever looks the most intense. I pay attention to size, material, motor quality, and whether the toy is designed for prostate, perineum, or external stimulation.
I also look for models with adjustable intensity and multiple settings so I can fine-tune the experience. The best toy is not always the most intense one. It is the one that hits the right areas, feels good on your body, and actually makes you want to use it again.
Vibration patterns matter because one steady speed can feel repetitive pretty quickly. A little variation keeps longer sessions from going flat and gives you more ways to build intensity.
For a lot of gay men, the main pleasure points are the prostate, perineum, penis, anus, nipples, and inner thighs. Different toys target these areas in different ways, so it helps to know whether you want pressure, vibration, suction, or a combination of sensations.
What works best really depends on your body, your comfort level, and the kind of sensation you respond to most. Exploring those pleasure points slowly usually leads to a much better experience.
Yes, sometimes they can. The label on the box matters a lot less than what the toy actually does. Even categories people usually associate with other audiences, including lesbian sex toys, may still offer useful design features depending on the sensation, shape, or motor style.
What matters to me is whether the toy works for male anatomy, comfort, and the kind of stimulation I want. Performance, material quality, and comfort matter a lot more than the original marketing category.
The easiest way is to treat toys as an addition to sex, not as a fix for something missing. Talking about them outside the bedroom can make the conversation feel less loaded. I also think starting with something simple, like a cock ring or a small plug, makes it easier than jumping straight into more intense products.
In my experience, honesty makes the whole thing easier. When both people are clear about curiosity, boundaries, and what they want, toys usually feel a lot less awkward and a lot more fun.
Disclaimer: All products featured on Instinct Magazine are independently selected by our editors. However, we may receive compensation from retailers and/or from purchases made through links on this page. Each platform was evaluated using the Instinct Magazine Review & Recommendation Standards .
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Instinct Magazine Staff
AuthorThe Instinct Magazine Staff brings together seasoned editors, writers, and researchers with over 20 years of experience in digital publishing and LGBTQIA+ media. The team...