A Message to Gay Men Who Feel They Are Alone on Thanksgiving

The holidays can be the roughest time of the year for people who don't have anywhere to go. It can particularly sting for members of the gay community who had a falling out with their family because of their sexualities. Combine that with a myriad of other factors that everyone faces, like parents being deceased and it can seem too much to overcome.


Trust me, I know. I lost my mother 14 years ago to breast cancer, something that resonates with me to this day. The old me (let's say 5-6 years ago) would've preferred to be alone, shut the blinds, and waste the day away by doing absolutely nothing. Now I see things from a different point of view, and I hope those that are in the same boat that I have been will understand what I'm about to say.

No matter who you are, your predicament, whatever it may be, you are not alone. Even though I have had a great number of friends and family around me during the most painful times after my mother's death, I still couldn't grasp how good I had it and chose to wallow and be sad about something I couldn't control.

Even if you feel like you don't have either of those things, friends or family, you do. Look again. There is someone out there that loves and cares about you. Yes, saying this can come off like a "very special episode" type of thing, but the depression and suicidal rates skyrocket around this time and a lot of it is due to people thinking they have no one. You do.

It could be the simplest of things like going to your local gay bar and chatting it up with the friendly bartender that probably already knows your life story or grabbing a bite to eat at a diner and enjoying a conversation with a waiter or waitress. There is someone out there, even if they don't know it, that can brighten up your day and keep your mind off of how difficult this time can be for many of us.


It may just be a simple piece of advice, but it's my own hope that each of us finds our happy on a day that could easily shift us to feeling the exact opposite.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in my fellow gay community. 

This post was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

Our trained counselors are here to support you 24/7. If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the TrevorLifeline now at 1-866-488-7386.

Leave a Comment