A World Where Snickers Don’t Have the “Veins”?

Ever wonder why you can’t keep your hands off of a Snickers bar? It’s not the peanuts, caramel, or delicious nougat–it’s that hard, thick, and veiny chocolate that is at least six inches. That’s right–kind of looks like a penis! Horny? Why wait?

After a false tweet went viral claiming Snickers planned to remove the “veins” from the top of the popular chocolate bar, the Twitterverse spiraled out of control.

Twitter @juniper

A photo of a completely smooth Snickers bar added fuel to the flames.

Twitter @juniper

But have no fear! The makers of Snickers have finally responded to the rumors, claiming the bar will remain girthy, full, and uncut. Snickers tweeted “Good news, contrary to what’s trending on Twitter…the VEINS REMAIN!”

Twitter @snickers

The joke tweet seems to be traced back to the announcement made by M&M’s when the company declared they would begin a “fresh and modern” rebrand of the M&M’s mascots. The change will feature the “sexy” green M&M trading in her signature go-go boots for a pair of sneakers and the orange M&M suffering from anxiety. M&M’s, they’re just like us!

Both M&M’s and Snickers are owned by Mars Incorporated, which has shared its mission as being a “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong and society is inclusive”.

Nobody feels included in a world full of Snickers without dick veins, Mars! Don’t you forget that!

Be right back. Running to the convenience store.

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