‘AITA For Sleeping With Her Brother On Her Wedding Night?’

A gay man asked the sub-reddit AskGayBros if he was wrong for hooking up with his homophobic sister-in-law's gay brother who he met at the SIL and his brother's wedding
(stock image via Depositphotos)

A poster on the sub-reddit AskGayBros asked if he was wrong for the way things went down at his brother’s recent wedding.

Redditor ToGayForSIL97, a 27-year-old on the east coast, shares he recently attended his brother’s wedding, who really wanted him there “even though I can stand his wife who openly hates gay people.” He admits he stopped going to a lot of family events “because she makes all sort of loud complaints about me, mainly my going to hell because I am gay. She also hates I’m an atheist who knows more about the bible than her.”


When the poster got invited to the wedding, it was clear he was to come solo – no “plus one.” His mother informed him that came directly from the soon-to-be sister-in-law (SIL). Apparently, SIL was appalled he was attending at all. The poster also shares that he’s counseled his own brother about marrying someone so hateful, but the bro can just say he’s in love with her.

Here’s what happened at the wedding:

So, I went to the wedding – alone – prepared to enjoy the wedding and reception. I noticed this really cute guy sitting on the bride’s side of the church, and again at the reception. I see he did not bring a date. Before I could build up the nerve to go talk to him, he wandered over to my table and sits down. He then, without any prompting, begins to talk about his nightmare sister. Honest to Jupiter he really is new SIL’s brother. He also didn’t get a Plus One. He asked me, and he knew I was the groom’s brother, why brother married his sister. We shared a few laughs about the train wreck this marriage will become. Under the table his foot began to rub against my leg.

We spent the evening dancing, talking and laughing. Then he asked if I wanted to go to his apartment. I did and a lot of really things happened. I don’t know how SIL found out, but she exploded on her FB account how I corrupted her brother. My brother is mad at me for sleeping with this guy on his wedding night.


“Somehow our hooking up ‘… tarnished the sanctity of her wedding.’ Her words. My mom made some vague reference to the notion our dalliance will forever be linked in SIL’s mind with wedding.”

Regarding the SIL’s Facebook explosion, the original poster later added, “She stripped out my reply when I said her brother could probably teach her a lot about pleasing a man. My parents got mad at me for posting this, but never heard from my brother.”

ToGayForSIL97 asks the group, “AITA (Am I the asshole) for sleeping with her brother on her wedding night?”

He also explains that while he doesn’t see a romantic future with SIL’s brother, they are becoming friends. “I am now thinking of pitching the idea we should attend family functions on both sides with each other just to grind her a** over this.”

(stock image via Depositphotos)

Here are some of the gay-gay-gay reactions on the AskGayBros sub-reddit (edited for clarity in some cases):

• “NTA (not the a**hole) Next family gathering go and bring him as a date.”

• “The power move would be to marry him and be a happy couple for the next fifty years and make a point of attending both families’ gatherings for decades after they’re bitter and divorced.”


• “Definitely pursue a friendship if just a relationship. The two of you are going to need the mutual support having to deal with the family over the coming years.”

• “Not the a**hole. Post back on her Facebook, tell her to stay mad and that her brother was a hot f*ck.”

• “Ask your parents where they were when your brother decided to marry a homophobe and treated you like a second class citizen with the wedding invitation.”

• “Not the a**hole. She’s being a homophobic freak. And what you two did in bed was mutually consensual and frankly wasn’t any of her business either. She’s the one being the a**hole here.”


• “The more I read, the more I smiled. YOU won. YOU got the last laugh. She was being a twat so you f*cked her brother. That’s f*cking fabulous. Dude you won hands down. Maybe you should say something like ‘If I had a plus one, your brother and I prob wouldn’t have f*cked…’”

• “Send her a t-shirt that says, “My brother went to pound town on my wedding night and all I got was this t-shirt.”

• “Dude! The dude wanted it, you wanted it, if it had been a heterosexual relationship they wouldn’t have cared, it’s very common for people to hook up in weddings. Hahaha NTA”

• “Not The A**hole – But The Hero We All Need!”


ToGayForSIL97 came back to the thread after a day or so to clarify he’d never met SIL’s brother before, and the ‘encounter’ was never intended or thought of as ‘revenge sex.’ He added that he now realizes he needs to have a serious heart to heart with his own brother as he doesn’t want to lose his sibling to the homophobic SIL.

What are your thoughts, readers? Who was the a**hole here – if anyone?

(photo: Tyler Nix/Unsplash)

14 thoughts on “‘AITA For Sleeping With Her Brother On Her Wedding Night?’”

  1. Yeah, like this hasn’t happened at any OTHER wedding in history. Brides need to stop thinking that getting married automatically affords them the unilateral power to control everyone ELSE’S behavior during “her day.” I feel sorry for the groom because chances are, her toxicity will only prove to get worse. The brothers of the bride and groom were completely within their right to enjoy one another’s company seeing as how the bride had forbidden any plus ones. What a total beatch.

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  3. The fact your family goes along with her demands is more telling. Honestly I would have told my family if I can’t bring a plus one like any other joe invited then fuck off and have a nice life. The fact they cater to her hate says volumes.

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  5. Who cares what she thinks about sh*t? She’s not a goddess & who her brother has sex with really isn’t her business. I never asked my straight brother nor his wife for permission to be with anyone. Nor do they sweat the details of my sex life as a gay man. Let her be bitter. If it was consensual, & you’re both not minors, then she need to get a life & stay out of it.

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  7. It may have been her day, but it’s their life and they chose have sex. It’s none nod her business and it really has no effect on her life. It is sad that no parental figure, sibling on either side is saying “shut the fuck up, get over it, move on.”

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  9. Ditto, there is no question, she is top-level hateful twat, everyone hookups, His brother is a pussy str8 guy, shame on him, also they did not plan to disrupt the wedding, and I agree they should stay friends and go to the family get-togethers, she is the type of human that needs schooling!! not all of use believe in hell/heaven thing the shame guilt game of superiority! just hateful,

  10. She’s the asshole. Period. And if that “ruined” her wedding she deserves to have it ruined. Fuck her and her veil.


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