Armie Hammer is back in the spotlight, but this time, not for his acting chops—oh no. This time, it’s because of a podcast story that’s got the internet buzzing. On a recent episode of his Armie HammerTime podcast, the actor known for Call Me By Your Name shared a hilarious (and slightly awkward) tale about his attempt to explore the world of gay dating. Spoiler: it didn’t go quite as he expected.
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Hammer, whose career took a sharp detour after accusations of sexual misconduct and scandalous messages surfaced in 2021, decided to dive into a more personal topic. His claim? Women were just ‘the worst.’ So, naturally, he thought: why not try a night out with a guy instead?
“Gay dudes seem to have it so easy,” Hammer mused. “Like, so easy.” If that wasn’t enough to raise some eyebrows, the actor dove into a Grindr-related story that’s equal parts funny and cringe-worthy. “I’m at a restaurant, my phone blows up, and it’s like, Grindr. And someone else is like, ‘I’m at the same restaurant. Do you a b—– in the bathroom?’ And you’re like, ‘Hey guys. I’ll be back in five minutes,’” he said, casually glossing over what’s basically a 21st-century hookup, with none of the awkward small talk that typically accompanies a meet-cute.
Source: The Armie HammerTime PodcastSo, with visions of seamless hookups dancing in his head, Hammer meets a ‘handsome French man.’ Classic, right? And if the story didn’t get funny enough already, this is where the details of his experience begin to truly shine—or perhaps, flop.
“I started making out with him,” Hammer recalled, “and I just remember being like, ‘God, beards. I get why women like it when you shave. This thing is f—ing rough.’” Ah, the trials of facial hair. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more awkward, Hammer continued: “And these shoulders are so wide. He’s so big. Like, he’s almost my height. Like, this is so strange.”
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Source: armiehammerYes, the struggle of too much masculinity. Clearly, Hammer wasn’t exactly feeling it. He even went on to admit that there was ‘absolutely nothing’ happening ‘physically,’ not even ‘a twitch.’ It was as if his body had completely checked out, despite the full-throttle hookup experience he thought he was signing up for.
But the true peak of this romance was when things got to, let’s say, a more intimate level. “He reached for my d—, and I was like, ‘You’re not gonna touch my flaccid penis,’” Hammer said. Yes, that happened. And just like that, the whole endeavor came to a screeching halt.
Source: annieleibovitzIn his defense, who could blame him? After all, navigating the unpredictable waters of dating is tough enough. But when you’re Armie Hammer, famous for his steamy role in Call Me By Your Name and a career that’s been as tumultuous as the plot of a telenovela, it’s clear that his personal life might be a tad more complicated than a simple Grindr encounter.
In the end, Armie Hammer’s exploration of gay dating wasn’t exactly a success, but it gave us one of the most entertaining podcast moments in recent memory. His attempt to “get with a dude” might not have gone as planned, but we can’t help but admire his willingness to share the awkward details. It’s a reminder that no matter how famous you are, the world of romance can still be unpredictable. Just ask Armie Hammer—sometimes, things just don’t click.
Here’s the full Armie Hammer Dani Druz podcast if you want to hear more.
Source: Entertainment Weekly
That hookup guy was probably still dreaming about this scene. I know i would
I still think he’s hot as fuck!