Brad Pitt has spent his career making explosions, fistfights, questionable haircuts and deeply questionable life choices look convincing. So naturally, the thing that finally broke his suspension of disbelief was… bad porn acting.
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Yes, Brad Pitt has apparently thought about pornography. And yes, he has a performance review.
The Oscar winner brought up adult films during a wide-ranging profile, although the subject arrived by way of an even more unexpected topic: soccer players dramatically throwing themselves to the ground in pursuit of a foul.
“I’m gonna start a class for flopping, because these guys are terrible,” he said. “It’s some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen. I know drawing a foul is part of the gamesmanship, but man, they need a lot of help.”
Somewhere, an overdramatic soccer player just felt personally attacked.
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Brad Pitt has apparently entered his porn critic era
Pitt wasn’t finished dragging performers who, in his estimation, aren’t exactly giving Oscar-worthy material.
“It’s one of those things that’s accepted but that no one likes—like ’40s acting, when the female actors would swoon,” Pitt added, imitating a swooning overdramatic starlet.
And then, like a perfectly timed punchline, came this:
“Bad acting drives me crazy. It’s why I can’t watch porn.”
Well. That is one way to reveal your viewing habits — or lack thereof.
The fascinating part isn’t even that Pitt dislikes porn. It’s that his apparent dealbreaker is the acting. Not the plot. Not the production value. Not the fact that everyone somehow has time for an extended conversation before getting down to business. The acting.
For Brad Pitt, apparently, nothing kills the mood faster than someone failing to sell the role. And honestly? Somewhere in Los Angeles, an aspiring adult performer has just added Brad Pitt’s Standards to their audition preparation.
He does, unfortunately, have receipts
Pitt isn’t exactly some random guy yelling at his television about performance quality. He has been acting professionally for decades and has the awards to prove it. He won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 2020 for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, playing stuntman Cliff Booth. Before that, he had received acting nominations for Twelve Monkeys, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Moneyball.
He also previously won an Oscar as a producer for 12 Years a Slave. When he finally took home the acting trophy, Pitt admitted to being “a bit gobsmacked.”
“I’m not one to look back, but this has made me do so. And I think of my folks taking me to the drive-in to see Butch [Cassidy] and [the] Sundance [Kid], and loading up my car and moving out here, to Geena [Davis] and Ridley [Scott] giving me my first shot [in Thelma & Louise] to all the all the wonderful people I’ve met along the way to stand here now.”
He also dedicated the moment to his children.
“Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood. Ain’t that the truth. This is for my kids who color everything I do. I adore you.”
So, yes: this is a man who has spent decades studying the craft. Which makes the mental image of him watching an adult film, sighing deeply and muttering “That delivery was terrible” considerably funnier.
Brad Pitt said he was on his last leg. He clearly had somewhere else to go.
Pitt once suggested that his Hollywood career might be approaching its final chapter. In 2022, he told GQ, “I consider myself on my last leg,” before adding, “This last semester or trimester. What is this section gonna be? And how do I wanna design that?”
Apparently, he designed it with a lot more work in mind. Since then, Pitt has appeared in Babylon, Bullet Train, F1: The Movie and Wolfs, which reunited him with George Clooney.
He is also returning as Cliff Booth in The Adventures of Cliff Booth, a follow-up to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. The film is scheduled for a November 25 theatrical release, followed by Netflix in December. So much for that last leg. The man is apparently doing another lap.
His next role has a dog, a plane crash and absolutely no room for bad performances
Pitt’s upcoming Heart of the Beast is considerably more wholesome — although the survival situation is considerably less relaxing.
He plays Special Forces officer James Belmont, who becomes stranded in the Alaskan wilderness with his combat dog, Odin, after a plane crash. Together, they have to survive the elements and make it out alive. The film is scheduled to open in theaters on September 25.
So Pitt’s current cinematic priorities are apparently: survive Alaska, reunite with Cliff Booth, work with George Clooney and remain deeply unimpressed by bad acting. It’s a busy schedule.
And really, Pitt’s porn confession may tell us less about what he watches than it does about how seriously he takes performance. After all, this is a man who can spend two hours watching people dodge bullets, survive car crashes and casually stroll away from absolute mayhem. But give him a performer who isn’t convincing?
Cut. Print. Nobody’s watching that.
Brad Pitt has standards. And somewhere, the adult-film industry is frantically booking an acting coach.
Source: Esquire