Bro! Where Did Your Butt Go? The Perils Of Padded Underwear For Men

Amazon Retail Pic-Men’s Padded Underwear

In this era of Kardsashianism, where big butts can make one the belle of the ball, I understand women’s somewhat obsessive desire to enhance their most high-profile body parts. We’ve become a more body-conscious society overall, with every possibility, from pills and implants to injections – all promising to deliver ass-tronomical results.

However, the quest to fill out jeans like J-Lo has moved beyond women’s objectives in recent years and found its way into the male psyche as well. Men though, are seemingly less likely than women to undergo surgery or booty injections to get that plumper rump, but still brands have taken notice in men’s growing interest in enhancing their male assets. The result; a robust industry of padded underwear for men has now flooded the market but Is this a good thing?

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Here’s how I see it. Whether you are male or female, padded underwear, of course, can enhance how you look in your clothing. You might have that perfect pair of jeans, or that fabulous dress (yes, some of you wear those too), and as you look at yourself in the mirror, you look flawless from the front but from the back –it could be better. A little padding in the underwear is the perfect remedy. This is the same concept as the padded bra, so it’s pretty standard stuff. If the purpose is to enhance how you look in clothing from a fashion perspective, I’m all for it.

However, if the purpose of the padding is to go out to the club and twerk it up, using your milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard, and then you connect with one of those boys and take him home. What happens when you get undressed, and that big, round voluptuous butt is proven to be as fraudulent as the Trump presidency?

Bringing a guy home after you’ve lured him in at the club with your fake butt is totally false advertising. It reminds me of buying that big yummy bag of Lay’s potato chips – to discover when you open it, the bag was only half full; the other half was just air. That’s not fair! And don’t even get me started on the underwear with padding in the front. Seriously?

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The better option? Just be you and present your best self – without a butt that says “made in China.” Or if you want actual augmentation, start saving up those coins honey, and get a real, tangible, physical enhancement. Booty-in-a-box is a cute temporary fix I suppose when the clothes are on, but when the the clothes come off, then what? How on earth does a date respond in the throws of passion when the underwear comes off…along with your a**?

What would you guys do?

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This piece is an opinion piece by one Contributing Writer for Instinct Magazine and may not reflect the opinion of the magazine or other Contributing Writers.

2 thoughts on “Bro! Where Did Your Butt Go? The Perils Of Padded Underwear For Men”

  1. I’d hire a personal trainer and do some squats. You can do them without a personal trainer, but I would need someone to watch my form so I don’t f*** up my back and knees. Depending on where you go, the cost is probably comparable. There are trade-offs of course (personal training is a bigger time commitment to see results, cosmetic surgery has the risk of complications).

    Reply
  2. I’d hire a personal trainer and do some squats. You can do them without a personal trainer, but I would need someone to watch my form so I don’t f*** up my back and knees. Depending on where you go, the cost is probably comparable. There are trade-offs of course (personal training is a bigger time commitment to see results, cosmetic surgery has the risk of complications).

    Reply

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