Content Warning: This article talks about suicidal ideation.
In a recent interview, David Archuleta talks all about what he went through before finally coming out, as well as his current relationship with his religion.
The 31-year-old singer shared how he experienced a panic attack in May of last year during a dinner with his then-fiancée.
“I was panicking. I didn’t move for 30 minutes. I was thinking about having to be her partner and being intimate. She said, ‘What the heck is going on?’ I was like, ‘All I know is I can’t be around you. I need three weeks. I’m going to work really hard. I’m going too fast. I’m going to pray,'” he told People.
Archuleta further stated how difficult it was for him to accept that he is attracted to guys stating,
“I was having anxiety attacks when I was around her because you’re trying to force intimacy with someone that you’re not able to experience. I didn’t want to accept that I was into guys.”
In June 2021, the “Faith in Me” singer came out as a part of the LGBTQ+ community after calling off his engagement. However, coming out was not the end of his inner conflicts, as he was then confronted with a “faith crisis.”
Archuleta revealed that because of the Mormon church’s doctrine, he contemplated on taking his own life.
“I thought it would be a better choice to just end my life,” he admitted.
The singer added,
“They’re comparing being gay to murdering someone, and you’re like, ‘I don’t want to be an evil person.'”
Currently, Archuleta identifies as queer, and he is in the process of healing.
“I’m finally learning what it’s like to actually love myself. I feel liberated,” he stated.
Moreover, the singer also talked about his current relationship with his religion stating,
“I tried to hide from this all my life, and I can’t. I just had to take a step away, take a break from religion — because for my own sanity, I did not want to weigh out whether it was better for me to live and exist, or if it was better for me not to exist.”
“It hurts me because my religion was everything for me. But you get to a point where you realize there are some things not right here. I need to just live my life, because I already know I’m okay how I am,” Archuleta expressed.