Bears date bears, twinks seek out twinks, jocks play with jocks. It's the usual law of the land. The rule that most people say is put out what you want or be the person you want to be with. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to the fellow ursines / bears or bigger beefy men. I'm more of the "opposites attract" kind of guy. So following the rule of dating, I should transform myself into a jock or a twink or a thin guy and spend weekends getting my back waxed.
Once in a while I get lucky enough to find someone outside of my category that will give me a second look, even though I don't have the 32 and under waist or abs for days. There are fit and fun men that do find us bigger beefier men good enough to give us the time of day and maybe the time of night and breakfast the next morning. Actually a nice fit smiling guy giving me a simple compliment would keep my happy meter full for weeks.
So why would a beefier bearish guy be someone to give a chance? Besides our great personalities and ability to produce body heat, Xem VanAdams believes there are other reasons to give thick men a chance. Here are the 5 reasons that Xem says is why thicker men are being sought out as potential boyfriends.
Recent scientific studies have proven that overweight men who have plump tummies also maintain a female sex hormone that floats through their bodies called, Estradiol. The hormone actually works to slow down the process of reaching an orgasm …
So wait, we may not be able to last as long at the gym or running around the track, but we can make time stand still in other places.
2. MORE UNDERSTANDING & ACCEPTING –
Dating a chubby or heavier man can work wonders for your self-esteem. Most often, a guy who has battled with his own weight and body issues isn’t going to criticize you or the other people around him for gaining a few extra pounds…
Been there. I've dated the more fit guys before and they are always picking on themselves and their body image. Yes, we are understanding of those battles and we will support you in them and through them, but we won't start them.
3. MENTALLY HEALTHIER & HAPPIER THAN MANY –
While it is certainly true that bigger people suffer from bouts of sadness, insecurities or depression as it pertains to their physical body, a lot of thick men are rather confident in whom they are as a whole…
There are times we need a good cry. We all need a good cry. Our bodies are not the best when being aligned with society's definition of pretty, but once we get past the being single blues, we are pretty confident about what we believe in, stand for, and want. I've had the same discussion with many people about how different they are now than when they were in their 20's. I always have to disagree with the norm for I feel I haven't really changed much since my 20's. May that mean I am still mentally immature or I was more mentally mature at an early age, you'll have to decide.
4. HE'S A CUSHION –
Both physically and emotionally, a thick man will bring layers of comfort to your life. Not only does his soft body provide the best comfy, cuddle moments, but a thicker dude is willing to open his heart to romance and other relationship opportunities with less force. He realizes that he doesn’t have the ideal, gym body and he knows that you have looked beyond that fact to truly connect with him. As a result, your teddy bear wants nothing more than to make you feel as special and chosen as you have done for him.
I think this is actually a downfall of ours. We are more open to being open and open ourselves up to a relationship than others. Yes, we're open! Why be any other way? Well most of the time we are open and ready (no not desperate, well maybe a little) and that causes us a great amount of pain. Being someone that knows who they are and knowing if they are ready for a relationship before the other person is not always a good thing. We are usually honest and vocal about what we want so when our partners want something different or out, they have a hard time letting us honestly know which leads to more issues. I forgive you for your dishonesty (you know who you are).
5. UNDENIABLE SEX APPEAL –
Quite simply, the draw of a thick man is his plump, protective, physical shield. He isn’t toned, but his body shape is typically that of a traditional, alpha-male. Being in his presence can make his dates and other romantic partners feel safe, guarded and free…
I think people are more comfortable and relaxed around thick guys. But as for the sex appeal, I'm not sure I can elaborate on that since I am not a bear lover. Physical attraction is an important PART of a relationship. So 4 out of 5 of Xem's points I can agree with. After this article, shouldn't I consider changing my stripes?
Do you agree with Xem VanAdams and his points? Do you find dating bears to be different than dating other animals in the gay kingdom?
For more of Xem's descriptions of these 5 points and what he wrote after the … , go to his full blog entry here.
To have a bulkier, chubbier man on your arm is to exist in the company of someone who is going to take care of your emotional and physical needs, first. He isn’t going to make you feel insecure about your body, your interests or your unyielding desire to make the relationship last. A physically heavier man will embrace your desire to have him all to yourself, as he is just as committed to keeping you in his life for the long haul. Your attraction to him as a person will make you second guess why you ran after the conventional, tatted, bearded, gym bunny types for so long. And while your friends may taunt or tease you for now being a “chubby chaser”, I guarantee that seeing your happiness will have them all standing in line to secure a man of their own. – xemsays.com
Hailing from Baltimore, Maryland, Xem VanAdams is a writer, motivational speaker and nationally known online personality. Xem offers love, lifestyle and self-esteem advice through original articles posted to his XemSays.com website. Additionally, Xem presents a series of informational and entertaining videos recorded for his Youtube.com/XemVanAdams channel – conducting interviews and sharing human stories that resonate with the masses.