Gay Man: How is Your Relationship With Your Mother?

There’s no doubt that gay boys are close to their mamas. I myself am extremely close to my mom and attribute many of my characteristics to the way she raised me. For most of my young life, she was my best friend and I can say now that she probably knew me before I knew myself.

Coming out to her was something I had to do because I was at a point in my life in high school where I didn’t know what I was searching for. Realistically though, there was never any need to come out. Not just to my mom, but for my entire family. Coming out was never something that needed to happen because everyone just always ‘knew’ I was the magnificent unicorn I am. But coming out to my mom was therapeutic and it only strengthened the bond that we always had.

Now as an adult, I think we have grown even closer because we have experienced many emotional moments together. I know in the beginning when I verbalized my sexuality to her she may have had some issues—not with me being gay—but more of a fear of how the world would perceive me. And throughout the years, she—and the rest of my family—have also had to ‘come out’ and our relationships are all better for it.

My mom and I talk daily and we continue to share in one another’s successes and frustrations—because there is no bond like a gay man’s with his mama.

Now, there may be a lot of parents, mothers specifically, who are not-accepting or who do not support their LGBTQ children—and to those individuals I say, “You have no idea how unfortunate you are to not truly know your child.”

I am proud to be a self-proclaimed mama’s boy—It’s where I get my class and sass! I love you, Mom!

This theme was the topic of Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey's latest video, who got together with some of his best gay pals and their moms for a mixer. In this video, each one takes turns discussing their relationship, coming out, and the fears/proud moments associated with having a gay son.

Dempsey shares:

Gay guys and their moms often have a special bond and a uniquely close relationship. For many of us, our moms were the first ones who let us open up emotionally, trusted our fashion advice, laughed in support when we broke in their new heels at home, and invited us to gab at the dessert table with their girlfriends. Our moms gave us license to set down the pretense of how a “real boy” was supposed to be and allowed us to just be ourselves. However, even the most open-minded mothers can still naturally have all kinds of concerns for their young gay sons as they grow into men.

Take a look at this heart-warming video filled with emotions. And if you haven’t done it today, you bettah pick up that phone and call your mother!



This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine. Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

h/t: Matthew Dempsey YouTube

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