‘I Still Can Have Pride’ – Even Though I Am Not Out To My Family

As we celebrate Pride through out the month of June, we need to remember those within our community who are not out to everyone in their lives. As I sat down to write this piece I, out and proud for many many years of my life, immediately thought well you CANNOT have pride if you are still in the closet. Then I checked myself real quick because twenty years ago at my first Pride I WAS NOT OUT YET TO MY FAMILY. I can’t believe what a hypocrite I had become. I forgot how hard it was and how scary it was to even think about having that conversation with my family. So I had two different lives – my “gay” life and my “straight” life. I went so far as to even tell my family I was going to Boston for the weekend, when I was actually going to Fire Island, a mere 30 minutes from my parent’s house.




Everyone in our LBTQ community deserves the right to come out on their own terms and when. Claire, from Alaska, told Unilad that she “began to question her sexuality in December and has since determined that she is bisexual. She’s come out to some friends outside her family, but is ‘just not ready’ to broach the topic with her family yet. Although she believes most of her family would be ‘accepting’, she gets ‘very nervous’ whenever she thinks about bringing up the subject of her sexuality with them.” She says that,


My friend was wonderful about answering my questions and also pushed me to do some additional research but to take my time. Figuring out your sexuality isn’t something you do in a day. So I did and that’s how I found out that I was bisexual. It’s still pretty new to me but I am happy with who I am!  







Nick an artist from Texas who identifies as pansexual told Unilad,

“my sister told our family she is attracted to women, they ‘didn’t take it well’. She has since moved out of the house, and the family made it clear to Nick that if they ever came out, the family would not approve. In spite of this, Nick decided to open up about their identity to their other sister. Unfortunately, however, she branded them ‘disgusting’. 

Nick has come out to friends who are also LGBTQ+, noting: 

“I trust them more than anything. They are also part of the LGBTQ+ community so I feel at home. I feel so free to do and think how I want when I’m with them because they understand. It’s a sense of freedom.” 


Wherever and however you celebrate Pride this month, remember those in our community who are unable, for whatever reason, to be 100% to everyone in their lives, they might just need this Pride more than you do. 

photo credit: Toni Reed. unsplash.com


Sources: Unilad


Leave a Comment