If You’re Looking for a Man With a Snake In His Pants, We Found Him

If you’re looking for a man with a snake in his pants—I think you’ve found him. Police in Rockwood, MI are looking for a man who walked into a pet store and shoplifted a four-foot python by, you guessed it, stuffing it down his pants. FOX reports that the man casually walked around the store until he discreetly maneuvered the reptile into his trousers.

Fox News

The snake, who pet store employees call “Noodle” was discovered missing when a customer approached its tank to inquire about it. That’s when staff checked security footage and saw something straight out of “America’s Dumbest Criminals”.

A pet store employee says:

Ball pythons normally like dark areas, so [the snake] probably wasn’t freaking out. I think that’s why he didn’t really struggle very much. It could definitely bite him. I’ve been bitten by my own [pet snake]. It’s definitely not fun, so I couldn’t imagine, in a sensitive area, getting bitten by a snake. He’s pretty brave! I would not stick a snake in my pants!

The snake is valued at $100, but more important than the cost, pet store employees want to make sure the snake is safe and under proper care. And hopefully the snake thief hasn’t suffered any injuries or consequences from his actions.

A lit size envy from this snake thief? There’s one way to whip a snake out of your pants!



What do you think?