Do you want to find a quick, anonymous hook-up? Open Grindr. Are you bored on a Saturday night and want free spank bank material with limited conversation? Open Grindr. Do you want to disappoint your entire family on Christmas thanks to the sound of a familiar chime? Open Grindr. Do you want to spy on an invading military force in the safety of your own home? Well, just open Grindr!
Several sources in The UK are reporting that Ukraine’s British allies were able to track movements by Russia’s invading soldiers thanks to their use of the hook up app Grindr. Of course, this needs to be taken with a grain of salt since this briefing has not been announced by more official sources as of this writing. However, using gay sex to protect an entire foreign nation is really a story that writes itself. And the icing on the cake? Russia’s President, Vladimir Putin, outlawed “gay propaganda” in 2013. Isn’t he just a peach…
Daily Mail and Express are stating that when the Russian military gathered at the Ukraine border, British spies successfully learned intel and mobilization orders by hacking into the antagonizers’ social media pages including their version of Facebook, VK, and Grindr. Soldiers were noted to have felt “unguarded” on Grindr, as they are using it discretely considering Russia’s stance on homosexuality. Little did they know that “behind closed doors” meant a spy in another country was blasting their information to Ukraine!
I shouldn’t joke because world war and outing another human being are tough subjects, but imagine the chat content. “Hey, show me your dick!” “Can’t, marching into another country with my gun. Maybe later. …Top or bottom?”
The largest military attack in Europe since the 1930’s, Russia began invading parts of Ukraine on February 24, 2022 in what can be called a hostile takeover. Despite the subject material of this article, my thoughts are with everyone overseas who are being devastated by this act of war.