Is It Acceptable To Out Closeted Men?

Should Down-Low Men Be Outed By The LGBTQ Community?

Sigh. Here we go. I feel it’s way too often that a down-low man is outed by someone in the LGBTQ Community. Not only does this person get outed, but humiliated in the same breath. Why is this becoming so constant? I’ve seen it happen in everyday life, where someone tries to take full advantage. In the realm of celebrity; rapper and artist, LL Cool J, Hank Baskett, the ex-NFL player turned husband to Kendra Wilkinson, and Gwen Stefani’s ex-husband, Gavin Rossdale come to mind.

Why is it becoming popular to out these men in humiliating ways? Are some beneath themselves so much to chase pavement to viral fame? Has someone had the last straw on a closeted relationship and want to purposefully harm? Do closeted men and women deserve to be outed? Even if it’s a one-time hookup? My answer to this: hell no!

In a sense, I lucked out. I’m a feminine gay who was essentially “outed” when I was five. I was getting called gay before I even knew what it meant. It was never a battle for me to come out of the closet, since my closet was glass. I can, however, empathize with those who do have to come out. It’s the silver lining that unites each member of the LGBTQ Community. We’ve all had to come out, something that our heterosexual allies cannot understand.

Whenever I see someone being outed, I cringe. It’s distasteful, disrespectful, and I will never forget someone who outs another person. How low can you go? Apparently, someone just did.

Recently, Bobby Valentino, a singer who has collaborated with the likes of Lil’ Wayne, Ludacris, and Nicki Minaj, was caught on video with his pants down, running out of Transgender female, Reima Houston’s, apartment. In the video, Houston harasses Valentino. In a haunting, cruel voice she exclaims:

“Bobby Valentino. Running. You forgot your shoes…and your keys. If you want them back bring me some money. Call me so I can tell you the price, Bobby V. Don’t run, Bobby. Come here!”

Check out the video below:



Houston is making a fool out of both Valentino and herself by responding to her viral video via Facebook. She goes on to write in a post:

"What I did to Bobby Valentino was on the basis he didn't have his coin so to play with my money is to play with my life like ANY girl would do. Don't expose but extort and get what's rightfully yours either voluntarily or involuntarily. Idc [I don't care] who doesn't respect my decision because my bank account will respect it the most. #PERIOD."

Yeah, she’s claiming that she only outed him for money. Really, girl?! Come on!

According to our friends at The Shade Room, yes- we get our sources from a lot of places here at Instinct Magazine.

“A rep for Bobby exclusively told TMZ he’s a victim of extortion and denies he hooked up with, or skipped out on paying a prostitute. Bobby V’s rep claims the singer had absolutely no clue the woman in the video was a transgender. The rep also stated, “Misrepresentation and deception were maliciously used to target Valentino; during the encounter,Valentino was victimized and threatened by acts of extortion which continued after his departure was captured on video. Bobby V’s rep also states that he has reported the extortion attempt to law enforcement."

One of my favorite people in the world, Snoop Dogg, came to Valentino’s aid, with a bit of a laugh. Snoop has been in the industry since before I was born. I know he’s seen more than most. He reaches out to Valentino, well aware that you need to be careful with who you’re trusting.

 “I can’t believe what the f*** I just seen! Bobby Valentino in the room, with a man, without his shoes…Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, brother- come see me. We’ve got to talk. You’ve got to get your shit together. You’ve got to be more careful, man!”

Check out Snoop’s response below!



If you check out Valentino’s Instagram, he’s trying to make light of the entire situation by poking fun at himself. He insists that he no one will defer him from happiness.

What’s your Instinct? Do you think that all men should be outed, even if it means humiliation for themselves? Let me know!

What do you think?