It’s Okay To Not Want To Talk To Older Men, Right?

Image via YouTube | Younger And Older Gay Couple Reacts To In A Heartbeat

Preferences Or Prejudice Seems To Be A Never Ending Argument In The Gay Community – Will We Ever See Eye To Eye?

It’s likely you’ve been spending a little more time on social media more than usual during this whole quarantine.  I’ve spent my time on Facebook, getting to know others, namely in a group called Gay Quarantine Happy Hour. It’s full of your standard gay posts: a lot of thirst traps, some catfishing, fun polls, and – did I mention a ridiculous amount of thirst traps? One of these thirsty posts came from a twenty-something boy from Ohio who listed he only wanted to speak to people his age (26) or younger. As you may have already guessed, his comment was not well received by all. In a now deleted post, his stated preference created a debate for the…ages with a lot of mixed opinions. What prompted him to shout out the age bracket preference on his chats?

To those that are discarding the older men and wanting them to remain at arms reach, let’s reconsider. 


Getting Great Advice – Having some older gay friends in your life is a blessing. Personally speaking, the older I have grown (not far off from the original poster’s age), I’ve realized my “aged” friends have given me quality advice on relationships, true friendships, and solid career advice. There is a genuine connection one can make to someone of any age, but there is a special friendship you can share with someone of a particular age who is willing to listen to you and feed you stories of their past. But, again, personally speaking: I’ve also seen the flip side of this debate.

Generation/Tech Gap May Cause Bumps – Virtually speaking, the older generation of tech users could be… a little bit dated and less savvy when it comes to digital flirting. Rather than shooting their shot, some may constantly message and over-comment, which turns into them appearing way more aggressive than one may be in real life. And it’s hard to start a good chat when one side seems too aggressive and demanding, which once again, may not be how they are in person, but the tech gap ruins the first impression. So yes, talking to some aged tech users could be frustrating, but keeping that in mind may make DMs a little easier to follow and respond to.  

More Comfortable Being Around – There are many of us millennials and maybe younger who love the company of older men and would rather have attention from them than someone from our age group. Friendship aside, it could be obvious to say any guy older than you probably knows a few tips or tricks in the bedroom that you haven’t experienced yet. Again, it’s different strokes for different folks, maybe literally. And those tips could also be about taxes, investments, shopping at the public market, to many other things.

Sex Partner Preference – The “my age or younger” make us ask – are we adding “age” into the politically, morally, or culturally correct terms most don’t want to see on dating profiles or social media posts? You know, the “No fats, no fems, no Asians” tagline that has seen an array of backlash since its origin on dating websites. The ageism uproar seems quite similar to inner femmephobia and racism within the gay community. Should someone be labeled an ageist because they prefer someone of a particular age? Or does preference take honor?

It’s Just Chat – Was this 26-year old confused where he was at? We were in a Facebook group chatting. Maybe he thought he was in a bathhouse and wanted to put a sign on his rented room? Or maybe he felt that he may have zero connections to an older gay man.  Hasn’t he heard of the Peter Pan syndrome where no gay man gets old. We will always be young gay men in our minds and our clothing. Take a chance on someone older, you may make a soul mate for life, or even a bunk mate. Not every 26 and under is an underwear model and has their shit together, but someone 27, 37, or 47 or higher may. If you’re limiting the men you are just simply chatting with, you’re limiting so many future possibilities. 

Writer’s Note: This is the opinion of one contributor and does not reflect the views of Instinct Magazine itself or fellow contributors.

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