It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I’m talking about Gray Sweatpants Season. Although the fabled time of the year didn’t become recognized on the Gregorian Calendar until 2011, it was always firmly tucked between Fall and Winter and extends into early Spring.
A very reliable source that I totally didn’t make up says, “Statistically speaking people are happier during Gray Sweatpants Season, especially men. People are more comfortable not wearing jeans, and so they go out in public more in a showing of social celebration. It is proven 100% that it also has to do with the ability to see a guy’s dick print through their sweatpants.”
Gray Sweatpants Season is also the last opportunity for gay men to find a suitable mate for the colder months, especially when out at the gym or McDonalds bathrooms.
It stands to reason that Gray Sweatpants Season is more miraculous than official holidays like Fourth of July and Christopher Columbus Day, as the before-mentioned holidays have no viral challenge and Gray Sweatpants Season celebrates dicks and not historic genocide.
In honor of a most sacred event, here’s a slew of tribute posts to gray sweatpants and the men that wear them.