Let’s Talk About Male Underwear Problems

You Thought Mooseknuckles Were Bad… Turns Out People Aren’t Even Changing Their Underwear!

Where are my underwear fetishizers at?! Most of you half to admit, there’s nothing sexier than seeing some hot underwear or lingerie on your partner… and especially on yourself. I know there’s a whole gear type of fetish, especially in the gay community. There’s some hot and heavy attraction to what’s going on underneath your clothes… boxers, briefs, jockstraps, thongs, commando, harnesses – the list goes on! Some of us, like myself, suffer from having a bulge in pretty much anything you wear – which turns into the most embarrassing moose knuckle ever. Haven’t heard of the term? A moose knuckle is essentially the male version of a camel toe. Basically, your nether regions gets curled up in the form of a knuckle in your pants. It’s the reason why dancer belts have become one of my Amazon one-click orders in my adulthood, so that way no one has to see my… religion, right off the bat. But, at least I’m constantly changing my underwear day in and day out. Apparently, there’s some people who are hard pressed to change it up!

According to a study by Tommy John, 45% of Americans wear their underwear for two days of longer. Umm… eww! This is taking me back to a rumor I heard in college that there is fecal matter in everyone’s hamper (due to flatulence), so you shouldn’t grab anything out of there once it’s been tossed! Heck, the study even tells that clean underwear alone could contain up to 10K living bacteria. Trust me, I have goosebumps right now as well.

Making matters worse, because us as men are usually always behind mentally than women- it turns out we’re 2.5x more likely to be the perpetrators of double dipping our underwear. As someone with severe OCD and who washes their hands too often – I must say this is pretty foul! I’m side eyeing all the men in my life right now curious if they are treating their underwear as if they’re a pair of jeans. The repeated use of underwear wasn’t the only information Tommy John discovered.

The study continues to claim that 38% of Americans are unsure how long they’ve had their underwear for. This seems to be a bit… normal, perhaps. I am someone who routinely switches up my underwear drawer for the season (my fall colors are arriving from China next month), but I don’t normally toss unless something has completely become worn or serves as a bad memory from a previous hookup. Yet, maybe we should be happy to part with our underwear once we’ve had our one-year anniversary with them. Having severely old underwear can lead to UTI’s along with skin, yeast, and bacterial infections. Not to mention skid marks for some!

You can check out Tommy John’s full study here.

Writer’s Note: This is the opinion of one Instinct Magazine contributor and does not reflect the views of Instinct Magazine itself or fellow contributors.